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Messages - Nigel

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1
Yes, I have, and yes, I am.

Consider that for most kids who are well-bonded to a parent, that parent is the love of their life. The idea of a parent dying, for most young children, is as unthinkable as the idea of losing a child is to post parents.

Your friend who was brain damaged was, well, brain damaged. That can cause no significant personality changes at all, or it can be huge. Who knows?

I understand that people who are depressed are literally incapable of seeing outside their depression, and to a large degree are also incapable of doing most of the things that are clinically known to help lift depression, but I still think that suicide is a complete dick move.

I do support physician-assisted suicide for terminal patients, though.

It's interesting to see so many different sides of this.
Nigel, did you have people close to you self terminate? You seem very bitter and angry about it.
I never considered the ones I know to have been selfish assholes. I sort of sympathized. In a weird kind of way.
I understood a couple of them, like my friend with the child (which is where all of this stemmed from. I was thinking about her the other day).

She was in an accident and in a coma for a couple of months. A small portion of her brain had to be removed due to swelling, and one day she woke up and said "Where's my bike. Shit. Where the hell am I?", like nothing had happened. However, she suffered a downward spiral of depression a short while after. It went on for a couple of years. No smiles, no happiness, not even moments of "ok". She truly just suffered under a dark cloud until one day she ended it.
I feel horrible for her family and her child, but at the same time I never saw her as a selfish asshole, but as someone who just couldn't live inside her own head anymore. I felt sympathy for her. I felt like she was finally free. I'm sure her family thinks much differently, but it was hard for everyone to watch her suffer, and honestly, I think there was a little relief from a few. Her grandmother said "She doesn't have to suffer anymore" at her memorial service.

As far as comparing it to my own child, I can't even fathom the thought. Meaning I can't even think about that. The idea of him even being heartbroken over a girl makes me want to Hulk out on this town. I love that boy more than words can even say (obviously), so really, I can't use that to contrast, cause the mere thought makes me die inside.

2
So, what it comes down to, I guess, is yes, I would rather my parents suffer than die. Because at least they're still alive and have some glimmer of hope. And they're both stubborn fucking assholes so there's no excuse there. I wouldn't forgive them for it. I'd never get over it.

Suicide is the ultimate expression not of despair, but of terminal selfishness.

3
No, not really.  Because not only do you have the fact that you were abandoned, not only do you never have the chance to figure out why, and spend who knows how long blaming yourself, you find yourself wondering what you could have done that was so horrible that you drove someone who you thought loved you away.  THAT, you get to wrestle with for however long it takes, and THEN you deal with not only the loss, but the question of what you could have done to stop it, if only you'd been there, if only you'd tried harder, if only you'd seen...

Either way it's fucking  horrible. The only advantage I can see to alienating your family and then abandoning them is that it allows them to write you off as an asshole, which, trust me, they will want to do even if you weren't, because suicide is a complete and utter asshole thing to do to people who love you. The anger after a loved one commits suicide is deep and frightening, alongside the self-recrimination, guilt, and unreconcilable regret that never goes away.

My mother's godson committed suicide. I didn't know him very well, but it was my mother's godson, so I went with her and she was pretty upset. He was a teenager. The line for his wake was around the parking lot. Mom and I were in line for an hour and a half. About 20 minutes into it, she said to me, "if only he could see how many people would show up for this, maybe he wouldn't have done it." And you know what, she was right.

I myself have a pretty complex relationship with my parents. I'm not sure either of them realize how complex it is. But I would be absolutely gutted if either one of them offed themselves. I don't have to like them to love them unconditionally. And I'm saying this as a 32 year old.

She was probably wrong. Because people who commit suicide are so detached from reality that it doesn't matter if they know ten thousand grieving people will show up to their funeral. All they know is that they don't care enough about anything or anyone to stick around.

4
I mean, "Daddy killed himself because he molested me" is not going to make things easier on the abandoned and abused child.

5
I think there are a ton of confounding factors that make it a non-straightforward question, as you bring up... is the parent an alcohol or drug addict? Are they abusive? Those issues completely change the equation. They don't mean that it necessarily makes suicide easier or harder for the child to handle, they just add to the complexity of the trauma.

6
Today ended well.



Nice work!

The real work will be to make sure I don't get booted out for drooping grades when I take physics, chem and calculus in autumn.  :lulz:

You might do way better than you think, because those all support each other really well. Not that I've taken calculus or physics yet, but I should have. :lol:

7
Things are a whole lot better than they were a few weeks ago.
I am around good people and they have a kid and both the kids get along.

Had a renter drop, but may have another at a higher rent by today.

So far my business is not tanking horribly, I probably won't get shot in the near future, and my kid and I have a friendly home.

I was worried for a while there.

Yay! May good things be abundant in your life!

BTW did you get the book?

I did! Thank you.

I have gotten as far as beef is kinda fucked up.

I found the first 1/3 to 1/2 of the book kind of tedious, as in my case it was essentially preaching to the converted. Probably also true for you as well, but if you haven't done much reading on agriculture and environmental science yet it might be pretty interesting.

8
Today ended well.



Congratulations, Twid!

I considered joining as well, but still haven't gotten to it. I really probably should.

9
Since you're going to fuck them up irrevocably either way.

10
Of course, his suggestion of disappearing so thoroughly that the family never knows of the suicide is, in this day and age, utterly impractical and therefore moot. But I do understand where he's coming from. If you're going to be such a self-centered prick as to kill yourself when you have people who love and rely on you, maybe just go all the way and let them see firsthand what a fucking total assplug you are so that they hate you BEFORE you die instead of AFTER.

11
No, not really.  Because not only do you have the fact that you were abandoned, not only do you never have the chance to figure out why, and spend who knows how long blaming yourself, you find yourself wondering what you could have done that was so horrible that you drove someone who you thought loved you away.  THAT, you get to wrestle with for however long it takes, and THEN you deal with not only the loss, but the question of what you could have done to stop it, if only you'd been there, if only you'd tried harder, if only you'd seen...

Either way it's fucking  horrible. The only advantage I can see to alienating your family and then abandoning them is that it allows them to write you off as an asshole, which, trust me, they will want to do even if you weren't, because suicide is a complete and utter asshole thing to do to people who love you. The anger after a loved one commits suicide is deep and frightening, alongside the self-recrimination, guilt, and unreconcilable regret that never goes away.

12
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Oh, Oregon!
« on: Yesterday at 02:41:41 am »
As an aside, those are the reservoirs that the people of Portland are livid are going to be replaced with new, covered reservoirs. Just because they're over 100 years old and at risk for cracking, sending millions of gallons of water down a hill and into surrounding neighborhoods! We've always had open reservoirs, dammit, and just because they're a giant flooding and safety liability doesn't mean they should be replaced!

Ah, Portland. How I love you. :lol:

(in case you were wondering, yes, birds do shit in them all the time).

13
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Oh, Oregon!
« on: Yesterday at 02:37:57 am »
http://www.cnn.com/2014/04/17/us/oregon-teen-urinates-into-water-supply/index.html?sr=fb041714teenwatersupply10aVODtopLink

 :lulz: Yeah, I woke up to that.

Before the era of surveillance cameras, people used to pee/swim/drown in the reservoirs all the time, and nobody was the wiser. I think we were drinking the water for two days the last time somebody drowned, before anyone realized. Oops!

But it is kind of amazing, that anyone would PEE IN THEIR OWN DRINKING WATER. Why does that ever seem like a good idea?  :lol:

14

http://topekasnews.com/oklahoma-protesters-threaten-secdee-union-neil-degrasse-tysons-cosmos-cancelled/

Quote
Saddlebridge Township, Oklahoma – Furious parents and citizens of Oklahoma took to the streets early Thursday, protesting against Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s Cosmos.  Protesters allege the show is blatantly promoting an anti-Creationist agenda and is ‘standing against the Judeo-Christian moors and values of the Saddleback Township community and others nationwide.”
The first protests against Cosmos in the community took place some two weeks ago, after a local paper claimed an airing of Cosmos in a school caused several children to experience ‘demonic possession’.   Parents cite one kid became completely enamored with the show during a terrifyingly supernatural event linked with Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s narrative explaining the “God of the Gaps” theory.

Several weeks ago, citizens accused Tyson of using his Cosmos program to forward other agendas, not limited to a ‘homogay’ agenda, wizardry/haroldry, astrology and other vehemently anti-Christian teachings.

Before commenting, read any other article on the site.

 :lulz:

15
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: "Tranny"
« on: April 17, 2014, 11:14:21 pm »
Hm.  I'm supposing you won't accept "neither male nor female" as a valid answer.

Well, it's not ME saying it.  The court said you get to choose one or the other.  A choice between two options is not itself an option.

Unless you're setting people up for something.

The ruling recognizes the already-existing third gender and mandates protections for a class of people who has historically been forced to the fringe, often unable to obtain housing or employment.

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