So I'm in this single mom group on Facebook and I swear to god, an awful lot of these ladies make my bad-decision-making days sound like the wisdom of the elders. Seriously, ladies. This week alone, one of them has given birth to a child she conceived during a bad decision that she knew at the time was a bad decision (and has spent her entire pregnancy raving about how angry she is at the father for not being there for her), one of them just found out a few days ago that she's pregnant by her bad-decision-du-jour, and a third today is regaling us with the story of her "Pull and pray" with some friend of hers she knows is a bad decision.
Condoms, ladies? IUD? Pill? ANYTHING? I swear to god I think I had less unprotected sex when I was TRYING to get pregnant.
I feel kind of guilty about being judgmental, but seriously with the frequency this is happening I'm kind of astounded. It's not a large group, there are under 50 members.
Almost all of them are divorced and come from dysfunctional families-of-origin, and almost all of them are seemingly intelligent women in their 30's, who are doing things like inviting a bad idea to come to their house to give them a backrub and then "Oops! I was so surprised I didn't have time to point him to a condom! Great orgasm though!" and I'm like, what. Was that really a surprise? Because it sounded like a booty call. And then they're like "Oh shit I'm ovulating cross your fingers for me" and I'm like "Are you trying to get pregnant by a deadbeat? Because my reaction to that would be the morning-after-pill, which is totally available over-the-counter".
Also to me unprotected sex means "not using a condom even though I really should, but at least I won't get pregnant because of my primary birth control method", not "absolutely no contraceptive method with some backwoods yahoo that will disappear into the trailer park jungle in order to avoid supporting the accidental child I am totally unconsciously deliberately trying to conceive for some mysterious reason".
Of course, my method is not 100% either, witness Little Orange. But I can honestly say that was a bit of a surprise. And my ex is anything but a deadbeat.
Anyway I am apparently way more uptight and judgmental than I thought I was. And I want to take all these jacked-up fools to Planned Parenthood and teach them how it works.
Girl who just found out she was pregnant is having her period now and is freaking out.
Bet money she has her oops-friend over for an it-all-happened-too-fast-to-put-on-a-condom around ovulation time next month, too.
I can't believe these women really exist.