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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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16
Russ Meyers: Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« on: June 06, 2017, 11:57:35 am »
Found this today.

It is absolutely guaranteed to burn down any facebook page you post it on.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/gen-x-ruined-the-world-too
:lulz:

Shitting on Empire Records alone is enough to send probably half my friends sputtering.

17
Russ Meyers: Apple Talk / ATTN Hoopla
« on: June 02, 2017, 09:22:55 pm »
Get the hell out of my town.  :argh!:


18
Bring and Brag / Re: A child, a monster, and a place.
« on: May 31, 2017, 03:17:03 pm »
Earlier this month was the 2nd of these parties. I did the writing shop again, this time getting the prompt "A story about a heavy metal band." Here's what I had after 30 minutes or so:

The last note sounded, deafening on a small fortune of amp stacks, resounding over a packed stadium. Thousands cheered, the constant din of all crowds erupting into 40 years of fervor. Magnus Ulric Vandoerf didn't feel the lines in his face, and the lights washed them off of the audience as they cried out and he was The Hateful Swede again in the headlines. Instead of Mr. Vandoerf, subtitle guitarist.

"Omenus!" they chanted together, "Omenus!"

If he could have known in the 70s where he'd be now, he'd have picked a better name. What the fuck is an Omenus?

The hand waved, perfunctory. Anything else would not be metal. The Drummer tossed his sticks over the stage. Not long ago that would have caused a fistfight. But not these days. Fistfights didn't go well with arthritis.

Magnus tried not to shuffle. He'd tripped on a cord ten years ago and two bruised ribs were headlines for a week. They made it, even The Drummer, whose trips to and from his kit were the most walking he did these days.

"Omenus! Omenus!" it kept coming. It would end soon. They had kits to get to. They didn't need to party all night to have a rough next day.

They sat in the dressing room, not speaking, slowly sipping beers, except for Svendsen. Svendsen was fifteen years clean.

"This is bullshit," Magnus announced. The others enacted dull surprise. "We can't keep doing this," he continued, "look at us!"

He huffed for a while. It was tiring being The Hateful Swede so late, and after a 3 hour set.

"Anyway it's time to call it quits," he finished.

This was enough to stir them.

"Quit and do what," The Drummer said. "I don't even know what it's like being home anymore. Am I going to take up gardening? Fuck, even my grandkids call me The Drummer."

He was right, of course. They were Omenus. Sten grunted from the corner. It was the bassist's version of a speech.

"No fucking retirement," Magnus agreed.

"So then what," Svendsen asked, "honestly I figured we'd die on stage."

"We go back to the beginning," Magnus said.

"Club shows?" said The Drummer, "no thanks. The sound in those things is bad on my ears."

"No, no, no clubs, no shows, no music," Magnus said, "weren't all those just an excuse anyway? We just bought into them the same as anybody else." He stood. "I want to be The Hateful Swede again. Boys," he looked at them. The Drummer in his chair, Svendsen with his water, Sten just there, as always. "Let's go burn down a church!"

He'd have it again, his subtitle. The Hateful Swede.

19
Literate Chaotic / Re: How full of shit is Peter Levenda?
« on: May 31, 2017, 03:02:41 pm »
Going by his eyes, I'm going to say full of shit, but completely believing it.

20
It's not how I'm used to perceiving my body, since I've been a Skinny White Boy for the 25 years prior to this one.


Welcome to not being a kid anymore.   :lulz:

I woulda kept on with it for a while longer if my glands hadn't tried to kill me  :argh!:

You aren't a kid anymore the first time one of your organs, etc, betrays you.

Fittingly, this moment for me was ass polyps.

21
Propaganda Depository / Re: Banning Nazis from PD
« on: May 19, 2017, 11:14:38 pm »
I support the banning Nazis thing. I also have ideas about grudges, but I have PMed them along with my Nazi banning support to The Mgt.

23
Russ Meyers: Apple Talk / Re: ABSOLUTE CHAOS
« on: April 11, 2017, 02:34:28 pm »
 :lulz:

So did you apply for this job or did you just wander towards the unbroken shaft of light on the horizon that heralded your coming?

24
Russ Meyers: Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« on: April 07, 2017, 02:50:19 am »
Apparently, this position is "business casual", which is to say "not casual at all".

Off to buy human clothes.

Is this lizard people slang for new flesh covering?

Could I suggest one slightly less...Cornish?

26
Russ Meyers: Apple Talk / Re: Experiences with Retail: Build-a-Bear
« on: March 28, 2017, 02:33:24 am »
Huh. Well I've sent this to three people I can think of outside of PD in the last few years. I guess it could be one of them? If not, then hey I hope they enjoyed it!

27
Russ Meyers: Apple Talk / Re: Spagbook
« on: March 27, 2017, 11:09:30 pm »
A few English delicacies:
fatberg pie - wads of coagulated sewer grease in pastry crust
mums toes - sidewalk mushrooms and stale pub beer spread on toast
fisherman's pudding - Thames dredge in Queens Justice scrotum casing
abitotheolstuff - bout two jollies of i wi a dash er what ave yer

28
Russ Meyers: Apple Talk / Re: Medieval Americans at War
« on: March 22, 2017, 06:29:49 pm »
Lol no I meant oil trebuchets aren't thick black goop dude

29
Russ Meyers: Apple Talk / Re: Medieval Americans at War
« on: March 22, 2017, 06:16:18 pm »
Catapults filled with ignited balls of that useless thick black goop that one Texan weirdo keeps pulling out of the ground.

30
Russ Meyers: Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« on: March 15, 2017, 02:32:34 am »
Hey PD, I'm not dead. I'm not on the internet a whole lot and that's working for me.

Hope you cats are doing well.  :)

I'm not dead

not on the internet a whole lot

Does not compute

 :lulz:

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