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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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2836
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Mouse bites penis
« on: January 14, 2011, 04:17:22 pm »
How is this an event?  Mice bite my penis all the fucking time.  Am I supposed to sue the pet store?

2837
As founding (and sole) member of the Arbitrary Egocentric Draconian contingent, you have our support.

2838
Well, yeah, a bed is something I would never buy second-hand.

My mattress was "reselected" meaning someone bought it, used it for 30 days or less, and returned it after deciding they didn't like it.  It was $75 for a bed that was originally $800.

I told myself that it was taken back after an old syphilitic whore with festering, weeping sores died while getting gangbanged by scabrous Republican congressmen.  I figure if I can comfortably sleep knowing the most disgusting possible thing happened to it, then I'm in alright shape.

I am inordinately happy with this mattress.


Weeeeeeeeeeeelll ... hmm matresses are expensive and that's a pretty fecking sweet deal, I might budge to that as well.

Remember kids, all standards are forfeit in the face of a good deal!
              /
            :roflcake:

2839
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Providence Spags
« on: January 12, 2011, 10:28:43 pm »
I'll grab a beer.

You Bostonians are so spoiled, though, thinking a half hour drive is something of an event.  I've driven there just to get hot dogs and we're about the same distance.  :lol:

2840
Well, yeah, a bed is something I would never buy second-hand.

My mattress was "reselected" meaning someone bought it, used it for 30 days or less, and returned it after deciding they didn't like it.  It was $75 for a bed that was originally $800.

I told myself that it was taken back after an old syphilitic whore with festering, weeping sores died while getting gangbanged by scabrous Republican congressmen.  I figure if I can comfortably sleep knowing the most disgusting possible thing happened to it, then I'm in alright shape.

I am inordinately happy with this mattress.

2841
The Elder Gag:  A ball gag and head - harness bedecked with multiple silicone tentacles.

ITT we find out that "Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn," is ball-and-gag for "Richter, what did we choose for safe word again?'

2842
I like the idea of performance art better than I like most performance art itself.

Now, here is a question that has been rolling around in my head for some time; is it still performance art if no one sees you do it? Or does it become conceptual art?

It becomes self indulgence.

2843
Discordian Recipes / Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
« on: January 11, 2011, 10:21:03 pm »
I'll take the Dispatcher, mmm.


2844
Discordian Recipes / Re: ITT SUU IS YOUR BARTENDER.
« on: January 11, 2011, 09:45:28 pm »
 :)

2845
I AM YOUR CANVAS PAINT ME WITH YOUR HATRED.

Sure.  Go park in a legal parking spot, first, though.  It would suck to get ANOTHER ticket.  Also, get a real car.  That little "entry level supervisor mobile" just ain't cutting it.

Then we can get started.

SCREW YOU IT'S EFFICIENT.


 :cry:

So is a $2 whore.  Difference is, your car is uglier.

Smells worse too, since the interior has absorbed the smell of cigarettes, used vindaloo, and powdered coyote feces.

2846
I AM YOUR CANVAS PAINT ME WITH YOUR HATRED.

Sure.  Go park in a legal parking spot, first, though.  It would suck to get ANOTHER ticket.  Also, get a real car.  That little "entry level supervisor mobile" just ain't cutting it.

Then we can get started.

SCREW YOU IT'S EFFICIENT.


 :cry:

2847
Make puns, don't point them out.  If they get it, all the better.

2848
I AM YOUR CANVAS PAINT ME WITH YOUR HATRED.

2849
The lack of people entering trades has been disturbing me for a few years now.  So much language is oriented at trade work being for dumb people, so many stereotypes about bodies beaten from years of hard labor.  How many positive things do we see about it?  That it's good, honest work?  That it has the potential to pay significantly higher than a lot of middle management jobs the college crowd will fall into?

I grew up in a family of carpenters, builders.  They built the homes a lot of my friends are living in and they made good lives for their children that are now being pissed away on frivolity and self absorbtion.

2850
The shit?  When did this thread become hilarious?  HOW DARE YOU.  :crankey:

I've found it pretty hilarious throughout.  Where the fuck else would we have to start a serious thread about how the puns have gotten out of hand?   :lol:

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