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Messages - Herbertina Merrique V

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31
Or Kill Me / New Stars
« on: January 21, 2010, 07:35:36 pm »
I’m currently drafting a photography/poetry/rant book about nocturnal cityscapes, the effects of corporatism, the culture jamming movement, and blah blah blah stuff like that. This will probably be the title text.
To most of you people, this is probably just stating the obvious, but I decided to post it here anyway, because insert reason.
(Also, my English might not be perfect all the time, I'm Finnish and very very tired)

New Stars

There are legions marching down the nocturnal streets of each city, and I know you have seen them too.

Even if you can’t recall any of those encounters the next morning – that’s simply because those people really don’t seem different from the others who wander around the city at 2 a.m. But if you stood in one place and watched, truly watched, for the whole night, you’d notice that some people are not on the way to their homes after a drunken party, nor are they night-shift workers walking towards another night of tired boredom, nor hobos freezing without a home in the autumn night.
Some people simply drift.

They have no stars to follow, apart from the glistening, colourful ad lights. Still, none of them find any comfort in those images – they don’t need the Sacred Golden Arches or the warm, welcoming windows of the 24h diners to feel safe. This is mostly because they really don’t need to feel safe at all.
Wandering around in the night, looking up to the New Stars belonging to this world of ours, they create ironic bitter constellations of their own. Armed with razors and stickers, they play with the lights and twist them to fit their taste, and they do so to make up for the vast space they lost, the brutally muted starry sky and the Moon which doesn’t really manage to outshine even the faintest streetlight anymore.
For the Moon is pale and grey, it doesn’t twinkle or evolve into a whole new family of products and it hasn’t got a psychologically optimized colour surface with your ad printed on it. At least yet, it hasn’t.

Some of those people really miss the Moon, and those nights when they felt overwhelmed by the Universe just because they stood still watching the stars for a while. The new stars, the bright colourful twinkling ones, don’t make you think about anything uncomfortable, like how irrelevant our life is, the rules we create to control an uncertain existence. And they’re not light years away, and they’re not larger than life.
They give your life a purpose instead of taking it away, they are close to you and they are your Friend and they want to Be You – they are stars you can buy, wear, even feed to your dog. Wishing upon the old stars never did you any good, anyway, and the new ones are right here to satisfy needs you didn’t even know you had.
But still, those people dare to be discontent with the brand new Heaven on Earth.

When the world once again awakes to the noise of happy families and shiny new cars, they simply aren’t there anymore. You can search all you like through the gangs of depraved youth and the Badass Alternative Subcultures, but there’s a little voice inside you saying that the scapegoat was probably not the actual criminal. Sure, punk rockers and suchlikes like to smash places, but that can’t be all there is to it. We’ve all heard of the countries where they ban heavy metal and force hippies to cut their hair – somehow it never really reduces the attacks. And you’d like to think you know who was behind them, because that would bring you a vague sense of comfort; hip hoppers paint graffiti, but you know they have their stars too, like any decent fellows. They can be categorized and avoided, neatly like foodstuff you’re allergic to.
It’s much harder just to accept that someone somewhere is behind all the horrible vandalism, but you will never be able to tell by the clothes or occupation. They’re probably not even members of the AdBusters. It rather sounds like a conspiracy, actually.

The truth is, you will never find them. They’re gone with the rising sun.
But you can spot the tiny items those people have reclaimed. Someone painted a handsome moustache for the woman in the Lóreal ad, and the guy livin’ on the Coke side of life seems to be hanged in a noose painted with dogshit. Childish, isn’t it? Quick, hurry past the stains left by losers with nothing better to do than ruining the commercial hell.

The beautiful beautiful commercial hell.

Those creatures of the night have gone to their ordinary office workplaces by now, or the shopping malls or whatever places decent people like to spend their time at. They could be your boss; they pay their bills and love their kids and do their homework – but turn your back, and they take off their suit and tie and grin at you with a bittersweet smile and a spray can. They know what they do may be worth little in the end, but it is a statement, and a message for the others not to feel so alone.
They probably still do. But whenever they realize they’re further away from finding a home than ever before, they again smile at themselves, for that’s how it has always been, and that’s how it probably should be; homes too often tend to brand people.

There are legions, really.

Don’t try to tell me I’m the only one.

32
Since everyone else has one and I want to be one of the cool kids, I can has holy name?

33
RPG Ghetto / Re: WEREWOLF - Players Only
« on: January 20, 2010, 08:59:34 pm »
But the peanut gallery can post whenever they damn well please.




PS - the psychic is Herbertina.

 :argh!:

Also, James? A bit too eager to blame other people for this, eh? And what's it with that smurf you dragged to our village?
SUSPICIOUS, SAYS I!

      \



(Unlike the gun I'm currently pointing at you people.)

I will, however, not vote for James, but LMNO, because of my terrible peanut allergy, and the fact that he attempts to get the wolves after me even though he doesn't even EXIST.

34
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Sigil thread
« on: January 20, 2010, 08:28:28 pm »
 :argh!: Sigils? Magic? Stupid? Noooo way, man. You're just not, like, enlightened enough, you know.

Now, here's a sigil I just made. Guess what it stands for?


35
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Sigil thread
« on: January 20, 2010, 08:07:11 pm »
The first and only time I ever tried any of the sigil stuff, I ended up vomiting. Violently. For the entire night.
Aaaaand for science, I will try it again!  :lulz:

Okay, so there were lots of other cases of stomach flu in my school that week, but please let me believe I have discovered a Magickqal Super Secret Occult Make-myself-vomit-my-guts-out Spell. :fap:


IMA SIGILMANCER LOL! PH3AR MAH POWAHHHH!!
  \

 :vom:

37
Aaw, I've played this on several forums before.  :mrgreen: I'm in!

38
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: WOMP-ertainment
« on: January 16, 2010, 11:57:46 am »
I have no clue what compelled this.



 :aaa:

:mittens:

40
http://www.ocweekly.com/2007-02-08/news/illegally-park-ed/

Fine, this is an old article, but   :argh!::hi5::?:hi5::x

Quote
No one disputes that an on-duty Irvine police officer got an erection and ejaculated on a motorist during an early-morning traffic stop in Laguna Beach. The female driver reported it, DNA testing confirmed it and officer David Alex Park finally admitted it.

When the case went to trial, however, defense attorney Al Stokke argued that Park wasn't responsible for making sticky all over the woman's sweater. He insisted that she made the married patrolman make the mess—after all, she was on her way home from work as a dancer at Captain Cream Cabaret.

"She got what she wanted," said Stokke. "She's an overtly sexual person."

Quote
On the witness stand, Park explained that he'd called Lucy out of concern for a citizen's safety. He also shrugged his shoulders when Kamiabipour slowly listed the first names of nine Captain Cream female employees—Annette, Denise, Rashele, Marlia, Brandi, Andrea, Deborah, Laura and Shannon—whose license plates he'd run through the DMV computer in the weeks prior to his sexual encounter with Lucy.

Quote
In a secretly-recorded phone call to Laguna Beach police shortly after the incident, Lucy recalled that she'd told Park she had no license. Park began "rubbing himself up against me," she said. "Then, he said, 'What are we going to do here, Lucy?'"

Park unzipped his pants, took his penis out and got an erection, she explained. "Basically, the officer made me give [him] a freaking hand job and he let me go. I'm so freaked out about it."

41
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Discordians Anonymous
« on: December 22, 2009, 02:08:33 am »
I thought this topic was about creating a Discordian version of Anonymous, and proceeded to stare at the wall in indescribable horror for half an hour.

:mittens:

42
Woah! $39.99 $4.99! :lulz:

43
Principia Discussion / Re: Discordian Evangelism
« on: December 11, 2009, 10:27:34 am »
I'd like to see awareness of Discordia increased, but not using the name Discordia. I'd like to see it in the form of allusions to a shadowy, slightly menacing group of ne'er-do-well's and troublemakers under some other name, with another layer of intrigue under that, and another one under that, so that if people investigated long enough and peeled back all the layers they would find Merry Old Discordja underneath it all.

ooh, related
http://www.scribd.com/doc/19140863/There-Is-No-Discordian-Society

Ha, nice!

Summarizing this thread, perhaps, Discordian Evangelism shouldn't be evangelism as in telling people about Discordia/converting them, but rather giving them more opportunities and hints to find out about it, and create it themselves?

44
(And a hundred of neatly hand-written letters filled with cheap Viagra ads and detailed pencil pictures of would-be hawt men. Because, frankly, snailmail spam is underrated.)


That would make a pretty awesome prank, BTW.

We wouldn't want to be offensive, now would we?



Yeah we do! Christmas is all about offensive -

Awful musics, godawful decorations, obnoxious relatives. Might as well get into the spirit.  :D

Oh yeah, Christmas is a different thing. Last time was the last time, this time it's Penis Reduction Pills!

45
(And a hundred of neatly hand-written letters filled with cheap Viagra ads and detailed pencil pictures of would-be hawt men. Because, frankly, snailmail spam is underrated.)


That would make a pretty awesome prank, BTW.

Oh yeah, it does. :lulz: Even if I only made ten or so, and they sold weight loss pills. We wouldn't want to be offensive, now would we?

Aaaand the emoticon RWHN can definitely not expect -  :crankey:

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