Apple cultists revealed as fragments first guys ego/identity unable to repair their own causal connection to a world in which Care has become synonymous with progress.I have discovered that if there is a theme to my pitches in here, it is "annoying ghosts"Guy applies for a job at the Apple Store only to be hampered by the fact that the training materials make it look like a suicide cult (including a VHS tape of Steve Jobs doing the Heaven's Gate "humanity will be recycled"/"come with us" thing). When he quits, the entire (matching-Nike-wearing) current set of employees commit suicide in order to "take their souls with him". Twist: it works, and for the rest of his life, he is followed around by the ghosts of thirty Apple suicide cultists who *won't shut up*.Comedy Skit: Guy goes to buy some gadget at the Apple Store but is hampered by the fact that all of the "Geniuses" are profoundly mentally retardedI've
been toldpersonally experienced how (they form a circle, facing each other, and speak in tounges (Star Trek?)) its actually a hive mind that they share in common.
Holy shit, dude. This is Barely Noticeable.