The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Open Bar: Funnier Than White People Practicing Voodoo« on: June 26, 2014, 07:36:02 pm »
So, my health has been poor for the last few weeks. The doctor sends me to the neurosurgeon. The neurosurgeon tells me that my reticular formation is (and has been) "rewiring" itself. It can't heal, but it can find new ways to use what's left. This is normally a good thing, because it means that humans can recover from damn near anything.
However, the reticular formation basically acts as the brain's switchboard. When it starts rewiring itself, that means that important signals get stepped on or interfered with, similar to "chatter" in data cables. What this means in practical terms is that A. I will get arrythmia to the point where I fall down if I'm standing, as well as B. Sensory interference. This can mean anything from numb limbs to hearing (balance, anyone? Your brain isn't talking with your inner ear, check back in 30 seconds), to illusions.
Illusions are different from hallucinations in that you don't believe they exist. The part of my brain that THINKS is unchanged (ie, still stupid), so when I see weird things (and by weird, I mean, HELLO, Ben Templesmith!), I just decide that it's this problem and ignore it.
The good news is, this didn't happen when I was younger, because it's happening far slower in my case and is less likely to, you know, have my brain just stop talking to my heart or lungs altogether. The bad news is that it may take a little while for my brain to decide that it's done making repairs. Like, say, 30 years or so.
The treatment course is "choke it down, sissy". The best they can do is give me sedatives to make me feel better about it.
And if you know me at all, you know sedatives aren't really my style.
So this is what's been wrong with me for a while now. Weeks. Longer, really, but it's only just gotten bad this last spring. I've been a bit of a hermit because I don't need ANY extra stress, and I wasn't going to deal with the latest version of holist. Also, I've been super busy at work, as I have mentioned.
Thing is, there's been no time to write, so no stress relief. So I am MAKING time to write, no matter how busy we are. Next chapter in the PI story goes up sometime today.
Well, shit. Very unhappiness.