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Messages - Nepos twiddletonis

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46
ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLEEP WHY DO CHILD TAKE BATH AT 9:30????

BATHING IS MORNING STUFF, THAT'S JUST WEIRD.

YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO GO INTO BED WHERE YOU STAY PUT FOR ABOUT 8 HOURS, FART, SNEEZE, DROOL AND PROBABLY RUB ONE OUT.

LOGICALLY YOU BATHE AFTER ALL OF THAT.

47
I'm currently exposing Midsister to different angles to the concept of history (but not the narrative of history).

This all results from the fact that I found out that dad's hometown is also the hometown to the founder of the Mexican Army's Saint Patrick's Brigade after leaving both the British Army and the United States Army, and that dad's hometown flies the Mexican flag once a year to honor him.

48
Or Kill Me / Re: I Love You
« on: November 07, 2014, 03:39:02 am »
I've been thinking this one over, and this really does capture a certain kind of love that you managed to put your finger on, and others have only been able to hint at by calling it crazy love.

49
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Indecision 2014
« on: November 07, 2014, 03:37:14 am »
To be fair, the the words of the water tower face Maine, not New Hampshire. That should really say enough.

When did Mainiacs become literate?

50
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Indecision 2014
« on: November 07, 2014, 02:29:12 am »
Husband: Fucking hell. I get shipped to some random territory in the middle of the ocean and couldn't get my absentee ballot in on time, and the next thing I know, you let the goddamn country go red. YOU HAD ONE JOB, SUU. ONE.

Me: I did my fucking job, Scott Brown isn't our senator.

Husband: On the bright side,  all the money they'll be pulling from your education they're going to throw at the military. I better be getting a goddamn raise.

Me: You know it doesn't work like that, they'll just repaint the water tower. They spent all those months on the scaffolding to change it from NAVY to US NAVY. Because people don't know what country they're in anymore.

Husband: THE UNITED STATES OF BABY JESUS.

 :lulz:

How duh we know them ain't the Soviet Navy?

51
LONDON, ENGLAND ARGENTINO, Dodo

Itinerant Hungarian and minstrel, Dodo Argentino has been pulled from the Thames after attempting to walk too many dogs for 10 quid a dog. The dogs were fine and all returned to their appropriate homes, as dogs are wont to do when they get hungry. He leaves behind a wife and children, as well as a number of advertisement jingles and a difficult to understand series of webcomics. His service will be held by the banks of the Thames so that those who knew him could absorb his memories from the water he drowned in, as his belief was that water remembers things that are put in it.

52
 :lulz:

AMSTERDAM, NORTH HOLLAND RET, Reg

Reginald Ret illegally immigrated to Heaven in the early hours of Friday, 6 November 2014 after dying of thirst after the next Dutch person scheduled to relieve him of his finger in the dam crack obligations caught a bad case of Americanitis and decided to say "fuck this job, I'm going to smoke weed and visit a brothel." He was 31, and almost old enough to no longer be eligible for dam duty. His final words are said to have been "how is it that Amsterdam is our capital but the seat of government is the Hague?" He is the only Dutchman to have died while on dam duty. As a result, he has been posthumously awarded the Military William Order and King Willem-Alexander is personally seeing to repairing the crack by creating a statue of Reg with its finger in the crack. Reg's ashes will be interred underneath it and a bed of tulips planted around it, and 6 November has been declared a bank holiday.

53


These are Genius!
Kill me next!

Huh that was weird.... my phones acting a bit funky, might have to wait till I get home

55
It's also possible that he was a glorified bottle washer because his professors didn't see him as competent enough to trust him with more significant tasks.

Possible, especially if his perception is that they have to be walked through everything.

56
You should ask him what his thoughts on Bill Nye are, since he only has a bachelors in mechanical engineering. Maybe he should call himself Bill Nye the Regular Guy.

57
I just got Kai'd last night.

Young guy I know on FB, working on his doctorate, up and announces that you can't call yourself a scientist without a PhD.  I thought he was joking at first, but he went on a tear about how all non-PhDs are essentially bottle washers that have to have things explained in minute detail.

It's worth mentioning that he has no work history in his field.

I wonder what all of those giants whose shoulders we stand on got their PhDs in.

58
Tragically, I passed on in a freak dog-walking accident last Saturday...

You're Holist judging from your profile, correct?

59
I lied.

NOUVELLE-VERSAILLES, REPUBLIQUE FRANCAISE, COLONIE DE GROOMBRIDGE 1618-D

[Translated into English for further research purposes]

IRON, Waffle

Waffle Iron, a 21st Century subject of the former Norwegian monarchy and went missing in 2024, was found during a scientific expedition on Groombridge Department. He would have been 42 when he went missing. The bizarre find was confirmed to be Mr. Iron through genetic analysis and tattoo reconstruction, but interestingly, aside from the fact that humans were incapable of interstellar travel at the time, carbon dating confirms that the cadaver dates to the 9th century of the Common Era. There is currently no plausible explanation as to how he went back in time and to another planet, or how he managed to survive, judging from telomeric degradation, to the age of approximately 185, or how he acquired an extra set of nipples, but he can finally be put to rest in the traditional Norse fashion of freeze drying and compaction into a perfect cube 1 centimetre each dimensional length, dyed magenta, and draped in yellow polyester. His direct descendants are expected to officiate.

:mittens:

You, sir, are a GENIUS

 :)

I looked up a K-class star, just for you. No known exoplanets so far, but it's 16 light years away.

60
(In case anyone is wondering, it would be roughly pronounced sort of like: "Uh HWIJ, GAW DUHM uh EES CUHN-nuhs uh RAW KUTCH uhss GWAYL-uh-gyuh")

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