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Messages - ┼llnephew Tvř­le■°n

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46
So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.

Hang on a minute.

Not using public transport will increase your cost of living. Not being in a major population centre will surely have crappier public transport which makes a car required/increases cost of living again.

I think the term that needs discussing is "opportunity cost" as it doesn't seem realistic to meet all these needs outside of Magical Land.

People and the weather are terrible everywhere. It's a worldwide problem in this century.

I think that I should point out that since she and I realize this is probably the biggest decision we'll ever make together, we know we're going to have to compromise quite a bit, and weigh the pros and cons. Her most important parameter is that she fucking hates Boston. Mine are there's no fucking way I'm moving to California, and the further we move from Boston, if it also involves moving further away from Ireland, the less happy I'm going to be about it. Unless both dad and grandpa die in the next three years at which point I have no particularly strong reason to go there, since I'll probably start vacationing in Boston instead.

47
So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.

Tampa.

I'm not fucking joking, I'm not saying this is a biased manner because it's where I grew up, but you WILL find work there, and it doesn't snow. Did you see my post?

I did. Phone posting, had to clarify the sitch. I might be willing to do that. It would also be convenient for when we're retired. I'll have to look into it more. Disadvantage is distance from both Boston and Ireland.

48
So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.


Hang on a minute.

Not using public transport will increase your cost of living. Not being in a major population centre will surely have crappier public transport which makes a car required/increases cost of living again.

I think the term that needs discussing is "opportunity cost" as it doesn't seem realistic to meet all these needs outside of Magical Land.

People and the weather are terrible everywhere. It's a worldwide problem in this century.
She hates relying on it for work. She's only done that since working in the medical area. There's just no parking. That's more tied in with her job than anything. Which happens to be in Boston. Which she kinda fucking hates.

She started hating it here, apparently, since she moved out of her parents house. She doesn't really like her neighbors, she doesn't really like the neighborhood. She wants to live in a quiet area.

Conversely, I prefer public transportation because of its cheapness and lower environmental impact. I'd rather that than needing a car.

49
Boston is the hard mode, and she's OK with Philly?


Boston population (roughly): 7,600,000, crime index (out of 100): 76.8.  The hottest month is July, with a mean temperature of 73.4 ░F. The coldest month is January, with a mean of 29.0 ░F.  The city averages 43.8 inches of precipitation a year, with 43.8 inches of snowfall per season.

Philly population (roughly): 7,146,706, crime index (out of 100): 86.5.  The January daily average is 33.0 ░F though, in a normal winter, the temperature frequently rises to 50 ░F during thaws and dips to 10 ░F. July averages 78.1 ░F.  Snowfall is highly variable, with some winters bringing only light snow and others bringing several major snowstorms, with the normal seasonal snowfall standing at 22.4 in.  Precipitation is generally spread throughout the year, at an average annual rate of 41.5 inches.


She fucking hates Boston. At least Philly is not Boston and kinda far from it.

50
Quote
She described life here as being set on hard mode which, you know, is kinda subjective.

Can I suggest that you need to dig a little more into that? Uprooting from a place you like for fuzzy reasons (which may well travel with you if you don't deal with the real/root cause) doesn't sound like a good move.

Considering you've chosen your education based on the employability in the area, it may just be a different part of town you need to move to.

I've suggested that, or moving to a different part of Massachusetts, or to a commutable area of southern New England. She'd be ok with Newport, Rhode Island, if the amount of salary to cost wasn't worse than Boston. But, ability to commute to a city seems to be something doable (indeed, necessary, really if I'm to get a job.)

I've tried to feel around and see if there was any possible way to stay, but that's not happening. She's leaving. If I want to join her, I can. If I want to grad school here, I can, but she won't be here for it.

51
So, some reasons she's given thus far are she hates the snow, and shoveling, she hates relying on public transportation to get to work, she hates the cost of living, the people here are rude and unfriendly, the weather in general.

52
She hates it here for multiple reasons. Which I find baffling, obviously because I don't want to leave. She said college towns are ok, just not large cities. I'm still trying to figure out what the he'll that means.  Because she's ok with Philadelphia. But either way the city thing had wiggle room. I think she's defining city differently than I am. I'm defining it as a large population center she's defining it as I fucking hate Boston. As far as the careers, I was kinda pissed, because I chose biology partially on its employability in Boston.

She described life here as being set on hard mode which, you know, is kinda subjective. I consider frequent droughts, tornados, venomous fauna, etc to be hard mode. Shoveling out your parking space and coming it, not so much. But I'm apparently the only thing keeping her here.

53
Canada is on the table, south Africa is not. And why to weigh part?

54
She and I can agree on English speaking world, not New York City, nor Australia.

55
PL is making this easy though. He's spamming links all over the site now.

Working up to a moot point, then?

56
After a series of somewhat difficult conversations with Villager, who is adamant about leaving Boston, and quite likely, New England, we're eventually going to have to figure out where to go. Time frame is basically after getting my BS. Grad school will be elsewhere. Ireland and the United Kingdom are on the table, but it should be noted that those are options because if I'm going to be far from one side of the family, I want to be close to the other. I would prefer to stay west of the Atlantic, east of the Mississippi, and north of the Mason-Dixon. Areas outside of that are negotiable, except for California, and most likely the southwest in general. Place needs biology career opportunities, obviously, but large cities discouraged. And no, I don't want to leave Boston, and never have. So, help me figure out where I would be willing to go.

57
In other words, if this were anywhere else, like a place of employment, her would have already been fired for a, and now he's done both a and b. Sure, it's an internet forum, not a place of employment, but harassment is harassment.

And who gets to decide when I am being harassed? You? Is it conceivably possible that if I feel harassed I might take it to admins myself? I can use the report post button. I can type the words "hey, this asshole is harassing me, can you delete his post and give him a warning?"

Or am I allowed the agency to go "meh, this guy's meaningless" and blow it off, and others the agency to jump dude's shit verbally for being a jackass, without resorting to admin intervention because some random underdeveloped dipshit was racist on the internet?

How about Gogira, does she get to decide whether she gives a fuck about some two-bit wannabe shock jock?

'Cause I'm gonna be honest here, I don't care, if I did care I could do something about it using my own big-girl typing fingers, and the idea that this kerfuffle is in any way about "defending my honor" is more odious to me than an idiot calling me a nigger.

You can decide all you want for yourself, as can Gogira with all the big girl typing fingers you want. Sorry I found something offensive that you happened to be a part of.

I'm not bothered by you finding it offensive. That's your own call and you have every right to make it. It's the part where you were declaring it harassment. If you feel harassed by it, again, that's your own call to make. But I'm not comfortable with other people deciding whether I'm being harassed, given that it's subjective and my call to make.

Ok, I see that.

58
In other words, if this were anywhere else, like a place of employment, her would have already been fired for a, and now he's done both a and b. Sure, it's an internet forum, not a place of employment, but harassment is harassment.

And who gets to decide when I am being harassed? You? Is it conceivably possible that if I feel harassed I might take it to admins myself? I can use the report post button. I can type the words "hey, this asshole is harassing me, can you delete his post and give him a warning?"

Or am I allowed the agency to go "meh, this guy's meaningless" and blow it off, and others the agency to jump dude's shit verbally for being a jackass, without resorting to admin intervention because some random underdeveloped dipshit was racist on the internet?

How about Gogira, does she get to decide whether she gives a fuck about some two-bit wannabe shock jock?

'Cause I'm gonna be honest here, I don't care, if I did care I could do something about it using my own big-girl typing fingers, and the idea that this kerfuffle is in any way about "defending my honor" is more odious to me than an idiot calling me a nigger.

You can decide all you want for yourself, as can Gogira with all the big girl typing fingers you want. Sorry I found something offensive that you happened to be a part of.

59
My two cents, for what they're worth. He should have been banned with calling Nigel a negress. He has now also called Gogira a queer.

PD has always had a pretty narrow band of bannable offenses. If the admins discuss it and decide that they want to amend the rules to make puerile name-calling a bannable offense, that's up to them, but personally I feel like it's simpler to avoid expanding the list of rules and just use our already-available individual powers of not suffering a fool.

Granted. And you are one of the insulted parties and I am not an admin. I'm just pointing out my feelings on the matter.

60
In other words, if this were anywhere else, like a place of employment, her would have already been fired for a, and now he's done both a and b. Sure, it's an internet forum, not a place of employment, but harassment is harassment.

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