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Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Wheeeeeeeeeeee!
« on: March 14, 2007, 01:30:49 pm »

Modern Discordians have finally almost created a new idea on their own . . . they only had to rip it off from an imfamous CIA investigated sci-fi hack named Dick. How appropriate.

This idea is known as the Black Iron Prison, and the basic concept is that your own perceptions are a prison from which you can never break free from. Once you realize you are trapped in a prison you can try to break out, but once you are outside you realize you are trapped within a larger, more impenetrable, prison. No matter what you do, or what you try, you are trapped.

What a cheery concept.

They offer no ways to get out, or think around this concept, its just laid out there and you had better digest it, accept it, and like it or you are a shallow fool who doesn't get the 'harsh reality' of the situation.

The idea comes from Dick's book Valis, which nobody I know has read or even heard of. The more obscure, the better, I guess.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Absurdism
« on: March 07, 2007, 09:00:16 pm »

Salient parts c+p'd

Absurdism is a philosophy stating that the efforts of humanity to find meaning in the universe will ultimately fail (and, hence, are absurd) because no such meaning exists (at least in relation to humanity).

What is the Absurd? It is, as may quite easily be seen, that I, a rational being, must act in a case where my reason, my powers of reflection, tell me: you can just as well do the one thing as the other, that is to say where my reason and reflection say: you cannot act and yet here is where I have to act... The Absurd, or to act by virtue of the absurd, is to act upon faith ... I must act, but reflection has closed the road so I take one of the possibilities and say: This is what I do, I cannot do otherwise because I am brought to a standstill by my powers of reflection.

é─ý Kierkegaard, S??ren

In The Myth of Sisyphus, Camus considers absurdity as a confrontation, an opposition, a conflict, or a "divorce" between two ideals. Specifically, he defines the human condition as absurd, as the confrontation between man's desire for significance/meaning/clarity and the silent, cold universe (or for theists: God). He continues that there are specific human experiences that evoke notions of absurdity. Such a realization or encounter with the absurd leaves the individual with a choice: suicide, a leap of faith, or acceptance.

man can choose to embrace his own absurd condition. According to Camus, man's freedom, and the opportunity to give life meaning, lies in the acknowledgment and acceptance of absurdity. If the absurd experience is truly the realization that the universe is fundamentally devoid of absolutes, then we as individuals are truly free. é─˙To live without appeal,é─¨ as he puts it, is a philosophical move that begins to define absolutes and universals subjectively, rather than objectively. The freedom of man is, thus, established in man's natural ability and opportunity to create his own meaning and purpose, to decide himself. The individual becomes the most precious unit of the existence, as he represents a set of unique ideals that can be characterized as an entire universe by itself.

I believe our current project to be the metaphysics of the Absurd.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Plan of action
« on: March 07, 2007, 04:48:01 pm »
1. Come up with a better name (BIP is too philosophically constrictive and attracts emo/goth types.  Sorry, but it is).

2. Decide where we want to go from there.  Is this meant to be a blueprint for action or trying to figure stuff out?  Throw in a target audience here.

3. Get writing.

4. Position the project as something associated with the Discordian movement but not part of it.  Thats important, because sooner or later everything fizzles out and I'd rather the place where the ideas come from didn't go with it.

5.  More suggestions?

Or Kill Me / LDD Sermon #8 There was no American Revolution
« on: March 06, 2007, 06:36:54 pm »
As you know, I have always advocated a clear headed and objective view of the state of things.  You cannot do otherwise if you hope to effect change é─ý without knowing what has happened and is happening, you are adrift with no plan and no way of knowing what is of practical use or not.

Because of this, I feel it is necessary to for once and all put an end to a very pernicious lie, namely that America had a revolution and, that unlike those in France and Russia, it was a success, for various reasons.  It is true that in America there was no Terror, that no death squads like the infamous Cheka arose as a sword and shield to the revolutionaries.  And the reason for that is not that Americans are quantifiably different, or have higher moral standards.  Its simply because what happened was not a revolution and so the after effects did not follow the same pattern.

I know what you're thinking.  é─˙But...there was fighting...and they separated...a new country was created...the Bill of Rights and Constitution....whats he on about?é─¨  And you're right, all those things did happen.  But they do not necessarily add up to a revolution.

A revolution must negate all preceding history and political theory that came before, annihilating them on the tide of their chosen ideology.  In revolution, ideas are put on trial, with humans in their places on the dock.  These ideas and their human hosts are killed as a sacrifice to the new order, as a symbol of a new dawn in humanity and the end of the previous order.  Invariably, this turns to state terror and rivers of blood.  In short, the revolution must, by its nature, kill itself in a blaze of self-destructive glory, giving rise to new tyrants and monsters.

In America, this did not happen.  There was no American Robespierre, no Stalin.  King George III was never put on trial and executed, Lord North and the rest of his inept Parliament were not given shallow graves and no new order was proclaimed.  There is a crucial reason as to why this is; America was a successful rebellion, one of the very few in history, which makes it very different to a revolutionary state.

America, it can be argued, is in fact the true heir to the British political system.  Radical democracy had long existed in the colonies, the political ideals they expounded an extension of British ones, but with updated theories from the latest philosophers.  The separation of powers, the Bill of Rights and the Constitution are all implicitly part of the British constitution, weakened though it is through its unwritten nature.  Those who worked from this system, such as Paine, Locke and Hume, were the inspiration for the likes of Jefferson and Madison.

In short, the rebellion was not about the creation of new values, but the restoration of old ones.  That is the vital difference, the limiting factor that ensures a rebellion will not end up copying the Terror.  It is a built in factor that leads to self-moderation and the real establishment and respect of human rights.  American revolutionaries did not dispute George III as a King, only his claim to rule over them, the nature of the relationship.

In short, rebellions work.  Another example for you to ponder.  In 1975, in Helsinki, the NATO powers forced the Soviet Union and its allies into singing a treaty on human rights, in return for improved trade.  The Soviets thought nothing of signing it and ignoring it, despite the treaty making it law for these rights to be respected.  But the dissidents took note.  While of course, it was only one factor among many, the Helsinki accords were as close as anything to a philosophical basis for the rebellions.  They were not out there to deny Communism as a system (in fact many called themselves Socialists, both among reformists and dissidents), they were there to deny what was being done, again to dispute their relationship with the state.  And again, they had success.  The Warsaw Pact was destroyed without a shot being fired, the USSR soon to follow.

Many Discordians may like to think of themselves as revolutionaries too.  God knows, there are enough self styled dissidents, protesters and anarchists etc who will gladly take that title.  However, what should really be sought is the mantle of rebellion.  Revolutions invariably go full circle, whereas rebellion can restore what was once lost.  Falling into the trap of seeing America or 1989 as é─˙successful revolutionsé─¨, working variations of Russia and France, is just falling into another trap, making a mistake that could be very costly.

Food for thought, I feel.

Propaganda Depository / Kopyleft Authors
« on: March 05, 2007, 09:34:36 pm »
Please post in here if you are willing to let others use your works.  If there are any special conditions (such as a piece of work you don't want to be used or whatever) please state them here too.

Or Kill Me / On Conspiracy Theorism
« on: March 03, 2007, 01:17:15 pm »
Alot of people interested in the counter-culture in general and particularly the three ring circus of Discordianism, the CotSG and affiliated Subcordian asshats, take a deep interest in conspiracy theories and the workings of secret cabals which are hostile to our very existence. I don't necessarily need to describe such groups as I'm sure you know what I mean. The Illuminati, various arms of The Conspiracy....Them, in short.

Obviously, many ordinary people do not believe in any sort of Them at all and so these groups have perhaps jeopardized their "credibility" (as if what Pinks and Greys think actually matters) in certain circles. However, a lot of people are wasting their time in this general area of inquiry. Thats not to say there are not conspiracies, because there are and they are very real, but most people have been hoodwinked into looking in totally the wrong direction for them. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I am in a position where I can quite legitimately research the linkage in the corridors of power and am able to tell you what I know.

I wont name names however....not real names. Rule 1: everyone is a disinformation agent. Its all too easy for false information to be fed to you or me, so I'll just sketch out the general 'shape' of whats going on, letting you fill in the blanks yourself. I'll also tell you what is likely not true and why I think thats the case. Firstly, the liars.

Many Conspiracy Theorists come from the Christian Patriot Movement, a collection of pig-ignorant degenerates and criminals who couldn't find their backsides with both hands, let alone highly intelligent conspirators working in the shadows. Invariably these idiots will make racist claims of "International Jewish Bankers" and...well, I barely need to go on. The sort of shit you can read in The Turner Diaries and other pieces of infantile fantasizing interspersed with horrific racist violence and disgusting characterization. If you believe anything that comes from these circles, chances are you're a brainwashed idiot duped by some charismatic leader with a Messianic complex.

Building on from example one, there is the general "Jewish Conspiracy" which is popular among the far-right (just ask Nick Griffin), the far left and various religious groups. This is quite frankly utter horsecrap....going by history, we should probably have a White Christian Male conspiracy, as these are usually the people involved in such things. Its basically scapegoating and stems from a religious need to place the blame for the death of Jesus on anyone but the Romans, who actually did him in. Anyone with any real knowledge of history would dismiss the idea of any single ethno-religious group being behind all conspiracies, or even just a large one as utter crap.

The UN is another one also taken from the far-right. Apparently they are a godless and evil organization preparing to take over the USA and occupy it with foreign troops....whereas the depressing truth is in fact the UN is nothing more than a device for the USA to legitimize its actions abroad. It doesn't always work of course, but given the powers the US gave to itself as a charter member....well, its a testament to the power of propaganda that people can think its anything but a slightly unruly tool of the USA.

Intelligence services are often a favourite one, for obvious reasons. Cloaked in secrecy, given wide powers to act pretty much outside the law, the similarities with secret police of bygone times, yeah here we are onto something more plausible. However, it should be remembered that almost always these are merely foot soldiers for higher powers and if they are doing something, its because they have been directed to do so. Running drugs, assassinations and so on, while invariably blamed on a rogue faction, do serve a greater political or security purpose.

The Satanic cult is another favourite, particularly among David Icke sorts, who can combine it with the relatively more interesting alien abduction theories. Satanic Ritual Abuse is probably one of the greatest scare stories of the 80s, one for which there is very little to no real evidence. Most Satanists are....well, jerks basically. Smart people, very quick mentally, but real assholes. The CoS is basically a money making device and the Temple of Set...well, its occult so its not my cup of tea, but its no worse than what Wiccans get up to. What is often referred to as organized Satanic abuse in fact is usually widely disorganized and carried out by...mentally ill Christians. Who, coincidentally, are the sort of people most likely to promote this theory.

Alien abduction is the few cases where there is genuine reason to believe that is in fact what happened. However, in most cases they are part of a carefully crafted government disinformation project. Not only does it explain experimental aircraft tests quite nicely, it also keeps a whole bunch of people on a wild goose chase, either keeping them distracted and ruining their credibility, or causing the believers to fall under the sway of irrational terror and hopelessness. I'll explain more on this another time, but there is evidence to suggest that intelligence agencies have in fact staged many of these events, either as part of a general disinfo project or as covers for other activities.

International Banking is actually one of the few areas where the theorists may have a point. If you throw in the various multinational companies involved with them, as well as a few NGOs. The World Bank and IMF are essentially tools of the European and US governments, used to "crack open" foreign markets, totally undermine the economy, then buy up previously state owned companies at bargain basement prices and bleed the plebs. Its the modern day version of colonialism, only it actually makes a profit.

Secret societies are of course the number one favourite for conspiracy theorists. Been around a long time, naturally secretive....the problem is most of them are basically talking shops. Anyone can join the Freemasons and while there are a few specific lodges that have been involved in some nasty shit, the majority are quite dull. The Illuminati have never been proven to exist beyond their downfall in 1785 and the Priory of Sion were always a sham. Most of these are generally beneficial organizations anyway, the Freemasons in particular being closely aligned to Enlightenment ideals expressed by writers like Voltaire and Diderot.

So what do I believe?

I think there are certain...factions at the very top of the political-economic structure, whose membership is hard to ascertain but who can be judged by their actions. At least one is highly antagonistic, ultra-nationalist and allied with certain sectors of big business. These are closely allied with certain Theocratic nuts, with whom there is overall agreement, though each dislike the other for certain reasons relating to their own beliefs. There is one whose view could most accurately be described as Neo-Liberal, who are largely benevolent and are closely linked to a benevolent movement for world governance. And there is another who wants the same world governance, but for entirely less high-minded reasons.

And of course, within each group there are sub-groups, factions and dissent.

One final tip before I end this - don't look to fancy sounding names and titles, because thats entirely the wrong way. Look towards bland sounding committees and think tanks, with boring names like the Committee for a Free Britain or The American Enterprise Institute....also watch out, as certain groups (such as the Project for a New American Century) are likely to shed their skin and change when exposed to too much light (as when they changed into the AEI).

Apart from those, for me Conspiracy Theorism is rather like Alternate History discussion, its an interesting look into how the world could be, as well as fuel for the imagination.


Maj David Nicholls, USAF
Maj Todor Tagarev, Bulgarian Air Force

For the last 30 years, the study of chaos has intrigued investigators, prompting many to see a great future for the study and application of chaos theory. In science and engineering, chaos theory has significantly improved our understanding of phenomena ranging from turbulence to weather to structural dynamics.  Chaos theory has even been used to drastically improve our ability to control some dynamic systems.  In the social sciences, there has been considerable interest in whether social phenomena, previously thought to be random, have an underlying chaotic order. Several mathematical tests for chaotic behavior have been applied to historical data from both the stock market and cotton prices. These tests indicate that these economic phenomena are chaotic and so have a deterministic basis (i.e., are governed by rules) as opposed to being random. Naturally, this has received some business attention, and at least two firms are now using chaos theory to guide their financial advice.

There is evidence that warfare might also be chaotic. First, strategic decision making, an integral part of war, has been found to be chaotic.  Second, nonlinearity, which is a requirement for chaotic behavior, appears to be a natural result of Clausewitzian friction.  Third, some computer war games6 and arms race simulations have been found to exhibit chaotic behavior. Fourth, previous work by the current authors applied several tests for chaos to historical data related to war. Those tests demonstrated that warfare is chaotic at the grand strategic, strategic, and operational levels.

An Overview of Chaos Theory

In this paper, we will discuss some important implications of chaos theory in the context of warfare. First, however, we will briefly summarize some important aspects of chaos theory.


If a system is linear, it means that the output of the system is linearly related to the input. In other words, if the input is doubled, the output will be doubled; if the input is tripled, the output will be tripled, and so on. In nonlinear systems, however, the output might be related to the square or the cube of the input. Such systems are often very sensitive to input. All chaotic systems are nonlinear.

Predictability of Chaotic Systems

Dynamic systems can differ from one another in how they change with time. In random systems, future behavior is independent of the initial state of the system and can be characterized only in terms of probabilities. For example, unless the dice are loaded, the next roll of the dice is totally independent of the previous roll. On the other hand, periodic systems return regularly to the same conditions, as exemplified by the pendulum clock. Such systems are totally predictable because once one period is known, all others must be identical. Chaotic systems are neither random nor periodic. They are not random because the future of a chaotic system is dependent upon initial conditions. They are not periodic because their behavior never repeats.

Chaotic systems never repeat exactly because their future behavior is extremely sensitive to initial conditions. Thus, infinitesimal differences in initial conditions eventually cause large changes in system behavior. An often-used example of this sensitivity is weather. Weather is so sensitive to initial conditions that there is a belief that the flap of a butterfly's wings in America could eventually cause a typhoon in China.  It is inconceivable that conditions on the earth could ever duplicate an earlier time to the point where even all butterfly flights are duplicated. Therefore, the earth's weather will never be periodic.

In addition to making chaotic systems aperiodic, extreme sensitivity to initial conditions means that it is not possible to determine the present conditions exactly enough to fully predict the future. Figure 1 illustrates this point. In figure 1, successive values for x are plotted resulting from the nonlinear equation xi+1 = 4xi - 4xi2. For one plot the initial value of x was 0.7. For the other plot it was 0.70001. Initially, they are indistinguishable from one another, but as time goes on, even such a small difference between the two is magnified until their behavior appears totally unrelated. Short-term predictions are still possible because small influences will not have had time to grow into large ones. However, what is short-term depends on how sensitive the system is to small changes at that point in time.

The importance of this concept is that it explains how a system can be governed by a set of equations and yet still be unpredictable. We cannot know the initial value of a system, such as that illustrated in figure 1, precisely enough to predict which path the system will follow. If warfare is chaotic, this tells us that we cannot make perfect predictions even if we could reduce war to a mechanistic set of equations. Fortunately, as is also illustrated by figure 1, there are bounds to the unpredictability of a chaotic system. Furthermore, chaos theory provides tools that can predict patterns of system behavior and can define bounds within which the behavior is unpredictable

Phase Space

The construction of a phase space plot is often used to better understand chaotic behavior. A phase space plot is a plot of the parameters that describe system behavior. It is useful because it provides a pictorial perspective for examining the system. An example of a phase space plot for a simple pendulum is shown in figure 2. At point A in figure 2, the pendulum is the maximum positive distance from the bob's neutral point but its velocity is zero. This is shown as point A on the phase space diagram. At B the distance of the bob from its neutral position is zero, but its velocity is at a maximum (in a negative sense). The other points of the phase space plot show the relation between the velocity and position for other pendulum positions. In this case, where there is no friction, the motion of the pendulum is constrained to remain on the elliptical path shown in the phase space plot. The technical term for this ellipse is the attractor for the system. One can see that this attractor is periodic because the path of the system exactly repeats itself in each orbit around the origin.

In contrast, figure 3 shows an attractor for a chaotic system. This attractor is a tangled mess of trajectories. The complexity of this attractor has led to its being dubbed a strange attractor. Although there are still constraints as to how the system behaves, there are a lot more possible states for the system. It is important to note that the phase space paths of a chaotic system will never coincide. If this were to happen, the system would become periodic. The longer a chaotic system is observed the more paths are taken and the messier the phase space plot of the attractor appears. Superficially, the attractor may appear to be completely disorganized. Closer examination of the phase space, however, reveals that the attractor is organized but in an unconventional manner.

It is possible to simplify the portrayal of the attractor by taking a two-dimensional slice through it (shown in the lower half of figure 3). This also makes the structure of the attractor more obvious. This two-dimensional section is called a Poincar?ę map.10


We generally define things dimensionally in terms of integers. Lines are one-dimensional, planes are two-dimensional, and solids are three-dimensional. Fractals are objects with fractional dimensions. This concept appears at first sight to be nonsense. An object with a fractional dimension of 1.5, for example, would be more than a line but somehow less than a plane. Nevertheless, such things are not only thought to exist, but such geometries are central to chaos theory. One example of such a geometry, although it is not chaotic, is the Koch snowflake.

The Koch snowflake starts as an equilateral triangle. A one-third scale equilateral triangle is added to each side. A one-third scale triangle (of the new, smaller triangle) is then added to each side of the resulting figure. This process is continued ad infinitum as illustrated in figure 4.

The perimeter of this shape has several unique features. First, although it is a single, continuous loop that does not intersect itself and that circumscribes a finite area, its length is infinite. Second, Benoit Mandelbrot calculated that the dimension of the perimeter of the Koch snowflake is 1.26.11 This means that the perimeter is between a line and a plane. Third, the shape of the perimeter of a Koch snowflake is self-scaling. That is, the perimeter would look the same whether you looked at it with the naked eye or with a powerful microscope.

These geometries are pertinent to chaos because strange attractors are fractal. Strange attractors, like the Koch snowflake, are infinite curves that never intersect within a finite area or volume. If a system is chaotic, it will have a strange attractor and the Poincar?ę map will show fractal characteristics. That is, the Poincar?ę map will remain similar regardless of scale.  Thus, Poincar?ę maps can be used to determine if a system is chaotic by visually depicting the nature of the attractor. The dimension of the attractor can also be calculated. If an attractor's dimension is not an integer, then the system is chaotic.

Implications of the Presence of Chaos in Warfare Previous work examined historical data associated with the grand strategic, strategic, and operational levels of war. That work showed that war is chaotic on all of these levels. If war is chaotic, then it must have the characteristics of a chaotic system. We will now describe some of the characteristics of chaotic systems and define what they mean in the context of warfare.

Computer Simulation Can Enhance Understanding

Computer numerical modeling or simulation has greatly increased our understanding of physical chaotic systems. The reason for this is that the equations that govern chaotic systems are nonlinear and therefore are generally not analytically soluble. Chaos theory, however, cannot be used by itself to derive a theory of warfare. As with any other theory that describes a phenomenon, a theory of warfare must be based upon observation, hypothesis, and testing. Specifically, development of a model of warfare would require the development of the structure of the model, the determination of the number and type of variables, and the determination of the form of the equations. In addition, system parameters and control factors, as well as sources for noise, would have to be identified. This is a very difficult task for any particular situation that is complicated by the possibility that different models might apply for different antagonists.

Chaos theory can help us by suggesting ways to develop our model and ways to use the model once it is developed. For example, observation of a chaotic system can be used to determine the dimension of the system. The number of variables needed to describe the system must at least equal the dimension of the system. Therefore, chaos theory can be used to define the minimum number of variables required in our computer model. Chaos theory also suggests that computer models of warfare must contain some nonlinear relationships between system variables so that the computer model is chaotic and thus reflects the chaotic nature of warfare. This may actually prove to be advantageous since the fractal nature of chaotic systems may allow relatively small and simple war games to accurately simulate warfare. Realistic war games that could be run on a desktop computer would have significant educational and operational advantages. Finally, the rate of information loss can be calculated for a chaotic system. This quantity is related to how far into the future predictions can reasonably be made.

The ways in which computers have been used to understand chaotic behavior in physical systems also suggest ways to use the computer to model warfare. For example, although chaos theory explains some aspect of the weather, the reader has probably noted that weather forecasting has not become perfect. This criticism, however, misses one of the most important contributions that chaos theory has made to weather prediction--chaos has given weather forecasters a means to determine if their forecasts are likely to be accurate. Chaotic systems are highly dependent upon initial conditions but they are not always equally so. If a chaotic system is in a portion of its phase space where the initial conditions are critical, then uncertainty in determining the initial conditions makes a large number of outcomes possible. If a chaotic system is in a region of its phase space where the initial conditions are not critical, then only one outcome (prediction) is likely. In practice, weather forecasters use this behavior by inputting small changes in initial conditions into their model. If the small changes produce small variations in the prediction, they have shown that the system is in a portion of phase space where the initial conditions are not critical and their prediction is likely to be true. If the minor changes in initial conditions produce large deviations in future behavior, forecasters know that their prediction is likely to be in error.

The same approach could be taken to understand when predictions in warfare are likely to be accurate. This in itself would be a valuable contribution of computer simulation to understanding warfare. There are, however, two additional reasons why this approach may be even more applicable to warfare than it is to weather. First, unlike weather forecasters, we have some ability to change the initial conditions. Specifically, if we find ourselves in a region of great uncertainty, we could determine which conditions would have to be changed to move the system to a position where the outcome was predictable and desirable. The quantity and type of forces are examples of initial conditions that we might be able to change. Second, we could use our model to determine which initial conditions and which variables had the most profound effect on our predictions. This would aid in identifying centers of gravity (COG) and information that we needed to know precisely. That is, it would tell us where to concentrate our attack and what intelligence information was most critical.

I just had a genius idea.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Is Discorianism an ideology?
« on: March 02, 2007, 09:14:50 am »
Typically an ideology has three components, a Descriptive, Prescriptive and Strategy section.  Descriptive describes the world as it is, Prescriptive describes how the world should be and Strategy is how you move from one to the other.

I have my own ill-defined thoughts on the issue, but I would like to hear others ideas first.

Propaganda Depository / Roger's flyers - UK version (unformatted)
« on: March 01, 2007, 05:50:36 pm »

This isn't the latest reality teevee show!  This isn't the coolest new electronic trinket!  It isn't a ringtone! So why the hell are you messing with it?  You'd better put this down, before someone sees might get in trouble, or worse!  You might even look stupid and uncool!

Listen, genius...the powers that be work very hard to insure that you have all the information and entertainment that they think you need.  And THIS is how you thank them?  By reading some subversive flyer that was probably left here by some British-hating freak?  Huh?  Well, that's gratitude for you.

Shouldn't you just put this down, and go turn on the television?  You're probably missing something that you just can't live without.  What's gonna happen during your 20 minute lunch break, when everyone's talking about X Factor, and you missed it?  What then?  You'll be a pariah. Your coworkers will laugh at you behind your back, and you'll be "off the team".  Good luck with that next promotion, Trevor!

So, look...just put this down quick, before anyone notices you reading it, and we'll pretend this never happened, okay? Now, get back to work, and pay attention to what you are supposed to be paying attention to!

Or Kill Me.

Written in the spirit by The Good Reverend Roger.

Despite any rumors you may have heard, there is no conspiracy.  Certainly not one formed by asshats and jackasses commonly known as Discordians and Subgenii.  These groups are too silly and self-absorbed to do anything like attack the evils that beset our society by using The Machine's very own neuroprogramming techniques (which, of course, don't exist). Anyone who says differently should get themselves a tinfoil beanie.

Indeed, the very idea of some secret cabal of weirdos, freaks, and mutants out to topple the monolith that we used to call our government is ludicrous. Especially given their non-violent methodology.  Everyone knows that revolutions only come with guns and near-mythical hero-figures, right?  The notion that some nebulous group is out there subverting people with imagery and printed words designed to alter moods and behaviors is simply science fiction of the wildest, most escapist variety.

Even if there was, what could they possibly hope to accomplish? After all, life in the UK is perfect right now, isn't it?  Things couldn't possibly be any better!  Unless you've been outsourced, or were born with dark skin, or have weird ideas about civil liberties...but then you really don't count, anyway.

So relax, citizens, ignore that feeling of the ground shifting beneath your feet, and discount any bizarre rumors you may have heard.  Britain is secure, the economy is great, and you have tons of stuff to watch on teevee.  And Robin Cook and David Kelley both died natural deaths, and everything has been great since then, anyway. Just grab a beer, turn on X Factor, and...


Or Kill Me.

Written in the spirit by The Good Reverend Roger.

Well? What happened? When did the UK turn into a huge collection of sissies, begging for our rights to be repealed for our "protection"? That's not Britain!  That's China, or North Korea. What the HELL are we doing?

So far, we've pretty much tossed away our entire rights, along with most of the rest of the parliamentary checks on absolute power. Politically sanctioned wiretaps, limits on protests and free speech, a bag full of useless wars that not even the PRIME MINISTER can properly explain, torture, suspension of habeas corpus...the list goes on and on.

Don't mind that grinding noise, Britain...That's just John Stuart Mill grinding his wooden choppers in his grave.

And don't even think of blaming your government, people. Because, hey, who the hell elected them? Who stood by while "both" parties stripped away our sacred liberties? Who?

That's right. It was YOU, Trevor. Shame on you. Shame on you for pissing on the graves of our forefathers, who fought for liberty against foes both foreign and domestic. Shame on you for wanting to be slaves. And now you are finally getting the government you deserve.

Or Kill Me.

Written in the spirit by The Good Reverend Roger.

Yeah, you. What the HELL do you think you're doing? Just look at yourself...wearing clothes you hate, paid to say and do things you hate, dealing with people you hate. However much they're paying you, it isn't enough.

You are supposed to be working to have a "better life". Well, are you? Is it better? Or are you simply toiling away for the privelege of doing it again tomorrow? Guess what, Bunky...working towards the future is BULLSHIT, because - as far as you know - this IS the future! If you got hit by a bus tomorrow, what would be on your tombstone? "I regret I only had one life to spend at the office"? For Chrissakes.

Well, I have news for you, chump. Hell has an express lane, and it's crammed nut-to-butt with people like you, who threw away their lives staring into their damn coffees and jabbering about work into their cell phones when they were supposed to be out having FUN. Remember fun? Remember just saying to hell with it, and screwing off for a weekend, not even ONCE thinking about the daily grind? How long has it been? Well, too late now, you pitiful drone!  They OWN you, on the job and off, and - even though you could - you're not gonna do a damn thing about it, are you? No, I very much doubt you will...And, thus, you are damned.

But don't worry too much about hell, Slappy...Hell is what you settle for, and you've been there for years.

Or Kill Me.

Written in the spirit by The Good Reverend Roger.

Relax.  Everything is gonna be okay.  At least that's what you tell yourselves, while pretending that the alarm klaxons and red warning lights are just part of your city's "Celebration of Freedom".  You pretend that the groaning noise of the supports giving way is just the sound of the house "settling".

Go ahead...put your head in the sand.  After all, if you can't see them, they can't see you, and that means they can't get you, right?  And who are they?

Look around you.  Creditors call at ungodly hours, MI5 is listening to you phone, Special Branch is reading your mail, CEOs are selling your future, and politicians are lining up to feed your children to the meatgrinder in Afghanistan.

I can hear you now..."But they aren't after me", you whine, "I pay my taxes!  I am a good citizen!".  Well, of course they aren't out to get you, because you've been had all along.  You've been miserable so long that you can't even feel the hook in your mouth, because it's completely surrounded with scar tissue.  Odds are, you don't even remember what it's like to actually feel good!

So wake the hell up, jackass!  It turns out that your "Dream life" really consists of you sitting on the couch watching the latest "reality teevee" show, in a cold sweat, while you ponder your bone crushing level of debt.  Your kids despise you, and will never know that you used to be cool! WAKE UP!  Get off that damned couch! Kill that teevee! Kick a boot through the life-stealing thing!  Get your spouse and your kids, and go do something that doesn't involve television or drinking! Go bowling, or play footie, or just go to the friggin' museum!



Or Kill Me.

Written in the spirit by The Good Reverend Roger.

It was a real booger, wasn't it, Sparky?  My guess is, you've had more than your share of those. In fact, ask yourself when was the last time you had a good day?  Can you even remember? Hell, maybe it was so long ago that you are starting to believe that bad days are the normal state of affairs.

Not so...or, at least, only if you allow it.  Co-workers stabbing you in the back, or just pissing you off with their narrow-minded attitudes and laziness?  Tell 'em to fuck off.  Seriously.  You'll feel much better.  Is your boss on your case?  Stop caring.  Do whatever it takes to get by, and feel free to throw a monkey wrench or two into the gears. The worst they can do is fire you, and if you're already miserable, who cares?  There are other jobs, and nobody checks references anyway.

Stop taking this crap! You aren't paid enough for this shit! Join those of us who have discovered that being bad feels good!  Listen up, Slappy...none of these jackasses give a damn if you live or die, so why the HELL are you being so damn NICE?  Drop a train on those geeks!  Stop being a "Bob"-damned drone, for Chrissakes!  Turn your nightmare back into the Dream life!  Get some serious weirdness back into your life! You only get one life, and yours is trickling away!


Or kill Me.

Written in the spirit by The Good Reverend Roger.

...That you are the butt of some horrible joke? That the society you live in is one huge, hideous sham?  Well, you just might be right...just look around you.  Nothing works, anymore.  Your job is boring.  You don't actually have any fun, anymore.  Your teevee is crammed full of pollyanna crap that you can't stand, but you watch it anyway.  Even your church has gone sour, filled with holier-than-thou jackasses that delight in the failings of others.  You don't even remember, really, the last time you laughed until your guts bled.

Sound familiar? Of course it does. It's that way for everybody.

Well, almost.  There are still a few of us out to have a blast, and maybe even a few cheap yuks at the expense of those who still believe in Rule Britannia and the Almighty Pound.  Whoa, there...does that sound un-British to you?  Of course it does, because you've been conditioned since birth to view these things as Gods...even though they are nothing more than social fictions. Fact is, our attitude is British as hell...Monty Python and co would recognize us, and call us their kin. They understood, you see, that it isn't easy, having a good time. You gotta TRY to laugh at this sorry version of hell that the UK has become...but it's worth it.

You see, what we call "Britain" today is a farce, a grand comedy in which the lead roles are played by Nazis dressed up as Bolsheviks. We have plenty of capitalism, but no free enterprise (believe it or not, they are two separate and diametrically opposed things).

If you can't crack horrible jokes about things other people won't even bring up, then maybe you better forget you ever saw this. But if you find the current rolling disaster as funny as we do, go to and join the asshat revolution. It's a hopeless cause, of course, but the people WE want shouldn't be bothered by little things like that.

Do you know how weird things really are? We do.

Or Kill Me.

Written in the spirit by The Good Reverend Roger.

That's right, just give up.  It really is easier to ignore how the government and your fellow citizens dump on you.  It's easier to just get by, and make yourself forget that you were born a free person.  It's easier to simply not think about how corporations have totally taken over every aspect of your life.

Good Doggie.

Face it, schmoe, you're just one cog in a vast machine, right?  Nothing you say or do counts, anyway, so why make waves?  Right right right?

You make me sick.  What the hell are you...A human or a sheep?  I have bad news for you, you schlep...Sheep get shorn...and eventually, they go on the dinner plate.  For God's sake, walk on your hind legs!  These jackasses that make your life a living hell are NOT invincible.  They're just gasbags that got were they are through luck and sheer bullshit!  They're no better than you, and - here's a little secret - they have no real power over you.

The sad thing is that you'll never believe that.  You'll just continue letting them shit on you, and telling you lies.  Lies like how, if you just put up with it long enough, it will be YOUR turn to shit on someone. HAW HAW! SUCKER!  You'll be believing that until the day they shove your carcass into a hole in the ground.  Well, too bad, jerk!  The odds of you becoming rich and powerful "some day" are about the same as you being hit by lightning while holding a winning lottery ticket.  You keep believing that Margaret Thatcher bullshit, and you'll be the sucker that they already know you are.

But you aren't really listening, are you?  No, of course not.  Go back to your hovel, turn Celebrity Big Brother on, and fantasize about the day that your turn will come.  Don't bother thinking about how to stop being a chump, and if that scream building in your gut just turns into a yawn, relax.  That's just your soul, going down for the last time.

Or Kill Me.

It Only Hurts When I Laugh.
Written in the Spirit by The Good Reverend Roger.

Friends, doesn't it seem like life has become some horrible rollercoaster?  Like things are moving too fast, and there's nobody in control?  Well, the First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus has the solution:

Give up.

That's right, stop trying.  Getting by in life these days is like trying to get with that boy/girl/prairie squid, back in high school.  If you try too hard, you'll just mess up, and wind up going to prom with your cousin.  Again.

Now, this isn't to say you shouldn't DO anything...but just do it with omnifallibility in mind.  Fact is, you ARE going to make mistakes, no matter what you stop worrying.  Most people, of course, will start wars to avoid admitting they make a mistake.  Here at The Church, we get nekkid and ROLL in our mistakes!

Now, it takes a lot of practice to attune yourself to The Art of Not Trying, so you'd better get started now.  Gonna be late for work?  Piss on ain't the end of the world.  Spending all your time looking in the mirror and obsessing about your weight?  Screw it.  Go have a sundae, and then start thinking about what you like about yourself.  Find enough things to like, and suddenly you won't want that sundae, and you'll be amazed at how fast the pounds melt away (unless you're an anorexic, in which case you'll suddenly notice that you aren't a blimp, and you'll go have another sundae).

You see, we here at The Church used to worry like you do.  We worried about war, the economy, babies having babies, you name it.  But then it occurred to us that the humans can't help being the way they are, and WE sure as hell can't change them, so we may as well get our cheap yuks in while we can (Sometimes we laugh until we can't stop screaming).  Recently, we've had a lot to laugh about...and so would you, if you'd just learn to see the humorous side of Doom.

So, if you want to be like us, laughing until your guts bleed at things that most people won't even bring up, come join us at  And if you DON'T want to be like us, come anyway (somebody has to be the butt of the joke, after all).


Or Kill me.

Or Kill Me / SBOTD Rant: Bad Faith
« on: March 01, 2007, 04:41:32 pm »
One of the basic claims of Discordianism is that we are radically free to choose and act as we wish.  Its spelled out on page 00008 and has remained one of the few things almost all Discordians can agree on.  You are free, not you can be free or freedom is available to you, but right now, at this very second, you are an independent agent who is capable of making choices and taking responsibility for them, because only you caused them.

However, many people try to avoid this freedom, precisely because they dread responsibility.  I don't have to tell you about most of these, the conservatives who put faith in tradition, the Christians who put faith in being part of God's plan and every other person who constructs a worldview that puts them at the mercy of higher powers and the world in general.  Victim mentalities, often where no victimization exists.

In short, we choose social roles and institutions and norms in order to escape our freedom, to give it away and abdicate responsibility.  One of the most insidious of these is Discordianism, precisely because it proclaims freedom so openly and positively.

Many Discordians feel they should or actively do play the role of someone who is a bit é─˙zanyé─¨, slightly unpredictable (though tiresomely predictable within a certain range) and given to bad faux-surrealism and Dada.  I should point out not everyone is like this and there are some people who have always been like that.  This is not directed at those people.  Instead, it is directed at people who play that role because they feel this is how a Discordian should be and/or want to fit into the Discordian community more.

This is simply not true.  You have an idea taken from an incomplete impression of the Principia Discordia, with an all too Cabbage-like need for acceptance from your chosen set of peers.  In short, you laughed at all the wrong parts and took seriously the ones you were meant to find funny.

First off, you're falling into the é─˙conformity of the radicalé─¨ fallacy.  That every radical group or gathering etc should have a narrowly defined set of behaviour and interests and those acting outside of it are é─˙poseursé─¨ or fakes of some description.  Remember that bit in the Principia about people belonging to the Orders of Discordia just as likely carrying a flag of the counter-establishment as the establishment?  Good.

Secondly, your actions and behaviour are suggesting to the rest of the world that you are playing the role of a Discordian, that you are an automaton whose only purpose is to act out the essence of being a Discordian.  This is basically a paradox, you are using your freedom to actively deny it.  é─˙I'm a Discordian, I'm supposed to act crazy!é─¨ etc.  A very interesting position.

Of course, Discordianism is no stranger to paradoxes.  But normally they are used to illustrate a point in a humorous manner, or draw attention to some inconsistency in a viewpoint.  Also, Discordians do have a commitment of sorts to freedom, as previously stated.  Obviously everyone does, but to be fair its not often as explicitly stated.

The thing is, you can't escape freedom.  By making a choice to act like your idea of a Discordian, you may be denying it, but you are responsible for your choice at the same time.  So what you should really ask yourself is é─˙is this really the best way to exercise my freedom?  Or should I, as a free person, act as I see fit, instead of how I think others will approve of me?é─¨

I know where I stand on the issue.

Or Kill Me / Fascism: the real deal
« on: February 25, 2007, 11:45:06 pm »
Many political words are similarly abused. The word Fascism has now no meaning except in so far as it signifies "something not desirable."
- George Orwell, Politics and the English Language.

Fascism should more appropriately be called Corporatism because it is a merger of state and corporate power
- Benito Mussolini

Why need we trouble to socialize banks and factories? We socialize human beings.
- Adolf Hitler

The word Fascism is bandied around a lot these days.  é─˙Oh President Bush/my parents/teh librul medias/someone else I really don't like are fascistsé─¨.  In fact, as Orwell noted as soon as the years immediately preceding WWII, the term Fascism, which had before the war meant a specific political ideology, had become nothing more than another political buzzword, rather in the way é─˙freedomé─¨ or é─˙securityé─¨ has become today.

Occasionally, somebody will use what looks like, on the surface, a more useful variation, to describe an authoritarian dictatorship.  However, this is even more misleading.  Its most common use is an invocation of é─˙Godwin's Lawé─¨, to justify modern military intervention.  Saddam Hussein was not a Fascist.  Neither were the Taliban regime in Afghanistan.  Both were totalitarian nightmares where dissent would likely put you in a dungeon, but that doesn't make the cut.  Fascism is special and we should be fortunate there have been very few historical examples of it at all.

The problem is using a word that you do not know about will invariably mean that when someone who does know what it means challenges you, you end up looking like an idiot.  Furthermore, knowing the peculiarities of the ideology will mean you are more capable at noting any further resurgence, which is entirely possible in the current political climate, albeit under modified circumstances.  Note: for the purposes of this essay, I am treating Fascism and Nazism as the same, with the latter being an especially virulent version of the former.  There are minor differences, but they are more related to the German feelings of grievance for the past 150 odd years and difference in emphasis on the state and people.

Lets start with the basics.  A fascist state is always an industrial one.  Always.  Modern society is a prerequisite for the political conditions which can bring a Nazi party into power.  Thats because the basic purpose of the movement is to bring meaning back to contemporary existence, which is often considered as empty or lacking due to lack of religious fervour, increasing globalization and growth of rational biased movements (Socialism, Liberalism etc).

To bring back meaning, the state is set up as a new deity.  This is not uncommon among most dictatorships, usually accompanied with a cult of the personality, but in Fascism the state will have a specific meaning in historical, cultural and biological terms which will likely clash with its more legal definition.  For the best example, Germany, the country é─˙Germanyé─¨ became linked to those who spoke German, had German culture and historical links with Germany.  So, naturally, the Germans in Poland, Czechoslovakia and Austrians were considered all to be part of the é─˙Greater Nationé─¨.  Anyone who did not share this was not German.  So Jews and Gypsies, not accepting the culture and 'biology' of Germans were not considered citizens and could not become one, in stark contrast to today where one can become British or American via a nationality test.

Hypernationalism will be the consequence of the stress placed on the historic importance and place of the nation.  Almost always it will be considered exceptional for reasons in its history (the British Empire, the Roman Empire, American victory in the Cold War, German cultural influence etc) but has recently been robbed of this and things é─˙need to be set righté─¨.  Focus will be placed on the military as the instrument of the state in claiming and keeping its special status.

Fascism is often called collectivist, which is broadly correct.  However, since the term is usually a libertarian slur for anyone on the left who disagrees with them, I will extend this somewhat.  Collectivist purely means a society where stress is placed on the community over the individual.  Obviously, this has authoritarian undertones, but is not necessarily a trait of the left, as is often surmised by right wing supporters.  In Communism, the collective is (at least in theory) organized from the bottom up.  The workers take control of the means of production, no-one else.  And in fact, as we can see in Soviet history, this has mostly been true.  Anyone with an ounce of common sense would not locate factories thousands of miles away from both the raw materials and markets, or piss away their only foreign traded resource, for nearly nothing, in sweetheart deals to their allies.

Nazism, by contrast, is corporatist.  That is to say, it is organized from the top down into a collective unit, by the state and its allies in industry.  This is why corporations and fascism are so closely related, because the former is a microcosm of the latter.  Its also a clever trick that often brings the working classes into bed with the Fascist party, as with Germany with Gregor Strasser or the BNP in the UK.  It appears to be working to the benefit of the workers, as well as stressing nationalism, thus gaining widespread appeal.  Sometimes this can degenerate into National Bolshevism, but more usually the higher ranks of the party will control or remove that faction.

Naturally, this left wing rhetoric will totally vanish when the party comes to power, usually by a combination of externally caused crisis, internal disorder and mass street violence.  The crisis creates a need for exceptional solutions, which fascists preach.  Internal disorder is often caused by groups allies with the party, along with general crime which may be exacerbated by the crisis.  Mass street violence will end up intimidating both minor parties and mainstream ones on the local level, leading to a dangerous polarization in the politics of the nation.  Only those brutal enough to use violence to enforce their will can have a say in the political process.

Along with the vanish in shamelessly fake left wing rhetoric will come a new found respect for the middle classes and in é─˙protecting themé─¨ against a whole host of imaginary hobgoblins the Nazis will have seized upon as threatening the nation.  Be it Jews, Muslims or Atheists, they will be defined as incapable of existing alongside the people of the nation.  Historically, biological reasons would be given, nowadays, culture is where the emphasis is usually placed, being as it is in the mouth of fascists, a code word meaning é─˙dirty foreignersé─¨.

However, the economic policies that are put in place by the new ruling party almost always destroy the middle class, as it is a possible area of resistance to the total control of the state.  Once internal enemies are é─˙purgedé─¨, this economic configuration, along with emphasis on self-sufficiency will invariably result in territorial expansion.  No doubt, the fascist economy needs expansionism to exist and will eventually fall into recession without it.

Religion is usually of secondary purpose to the party.  Despite a close alliance in Spain, the relationship is usually collaborative with the largest groups either siding with the party or being harassed into exile.  Religion will be interpreted to serve the interests of the state, though it will often be mistrusted by those in power as another possible rival for control.

Fascism is always racist, though the groups chosen will vary a lot based on context.  Jews will always be targets for their streak of mystical individualism they introduced into Europe and for é─˙killing Jesusé─¨, whom Nazis tend to hold in high respect for some odd reason.  In the current political climate, Muslims are another easy target, whereas more obvious anti-Semitism has been toned down, because it is partly recognized as an election loser and because of support for Israel against Muslims. 

In summation, fascism is a radical and revolutionary right wing movement, which incorporates elements of the left as part of its cynical bid for power.  Revolutionary, it wants nothing less than the total recreation and reorganization of society.  Its basis is in violence, worship of the state, hypernationalist racism, militarism and expansion.  The individual means nothing and the only truth is force.  In short, it is the exaltation of the executioner by the executioner, torture by the torturer and sadism by the sadist. 

Literate Chaotic / ITT: Modern Bible Translation
« on: February 25, 2007, 09:47:52 pm »
Example one (by George Orwell)

I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.


Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account.

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