BREAKING NEWS: GRITS FUCKING SUCK

I know this is gonna get me lynched. But anyway–

BREAKING NEWS:
GRITS FUCKING SUCK.

They’re like this disgusting corn paste crap that Southerners swear by. I don’t know what retarded thing Southerners obsess over more: grits, or the confederate flag. Neither have any place in the union.

I NEED CUPPA COFFEE AND SOME CORN PASTE TO START THE DAY
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AND MAH TRACTOR

SRSLY, would you eat this crap?
It looks like something that dripped out of a tissue. Tastes about the same, too.

I can already hear you: NO,├é┬áPROFESSOR CRAMULUS. YOU’VE GOTTA EAT GRITS WITH SYRUP OR HOT SAUCE OR SOME SHIT

well really then you’re just saying you like syrup or hot sauce or some shit, and the bland, goopey corn sludge is a vehicle for it. You might as well drink the syrup right out of the bottle and save room in your stomach for foods that aren’t made of slime.

People in the south are FANATIC about grits. Check it out:

“Whereas, throughout its history, the South has relished its grits, making them a symbol of its diet, its customs, its humor, and its hospitality, and whereas, every community in the State of South Carolina used to be the site of a grits mill and every local economy in the State used to be dependent on its product; and whereas, grits has been a part of the life of every South Carolinian of whatever race, background, gender, and income; and whereas, grits could very well play a vital role in the future of not only this State, but also the world.”

That’s from the South Carolina General Assembly 113th Session, 1999-2000, Bill Number: 4806. They love grits so much they can’t stop talking about them, even long enough to pass a bill.

FUCK GRITS

6 thoughts on “BREAKING NEWS: GRITS FUCKING SUCK

  1. I’m gonna disagree with you and say, no, they don’t suck.

    IF they are prepared correctly. And they seldom are.

  2. you eat them with salt and pepper and butter…northerners will tell you to eat them with syrup…

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