Can you make a sharp tool out of trash? How do you expect to be CRAZY PREPARED if you can’t?
http://www.geocities.com/knappersanonymous/bottle.html
Downsides:
-May break.
-Easy to do wrong, tricky to do right.
-Easy to injure yourself. (Don’t do this at a party after drinking.)
Upsides:
-Even your failures will be sharp.
-Use the debris of the fallen glass towers of man to arm yourself.
-Honor forgotten Gods with your adherence to the old ways.
-Fun trick for parties. (When sober.)
Well after several weeks of dilligent effort, it’s finally done.
Lesser Poop is a DIY Discordian Magazine of “Bathroom Reader” style content. Lesser Poop contains low brow humor, awful jokes, really short stories, exercises to mindfuck yourself, and much more. Most of the art is by Cramulus. Most of the text is from the principiadiscordia.com/forum community.
Been a busy week at Cain-central, though I can’t speak for where the other bloggers have been. But anyway, here is your Sunday video
The Germain Cabal of Germans has officially declared 2009 the year of nothing. That’s right, the year of nothing. I mean, it makes sense doesn’t it? I mean, just look at the economy, it is moving in the direction of less, not more. What does that mean? It’s moving towards nothing! Will it achieve nothingness, or will it fail along the way?
What about the relationship between Michael Jackson and Michael Bloomberg. Oh, that’s right, THERE ISN’T ONE. Zoiks, the Year of Nothing works its mysterious magic again. And don’t even get me started on the Chicago Cubs this year.
In accordance with tradition, of which there is none, the GCG encourages all other Discordians and those that aren’t to pay special observance to the Year of Nothing by choosing the nothing to do of their choice. This can be quite challenging for some, especially anyone with any compulsion to do stuff. Spread the word to your friends and family and postal workers. Okay, well maybe not the postal workers, but everyone else.
Good day and other such pleasantries.
-Rev. What’s-His-Name? official fill-in spokesman for the GCG
Via anthraxcat on the forums:
Your good author has had a bit of the writer’s block this week, but was recently inspired by a comment from the Professor Cramulus, his fellow writer and acquaintance. The good Professor laid out three circumstances which he’d like to see “Musings on Survivingâ€, pieces done on, and they WILL be addressed. They’ll be a bit more frivolous than your usual “CRAZY PREPARED”, but still have advice you can apply elsewhere if you’re clever.
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU AT AN ANIME CON?
At least, that’s what your author thinks every time he finds himself at one.
These conventions are strange and diverse shindigs. They can be homely, friendly local affairs, much like PortCon, in Portland Maine, or HUGE mass clusterfucks, like OtaCon, or occasionally Anime Boston. Ages and attitudes range form young and hyper to old and grouchy, with varying shades of creepy, collected, or enthused in between. There will be people who forget hygiene for a weekend at such gatherings, jumping idiots, and people who should NEVER own spandex.
Here’s how the author and his cohorts / friends / partners in crime get by:
Pack accordingly. Bring FOOD and WATER. Keep your blood sugar and hydration in order or you fun stops REAL quick. The author prefers enough granola / cereal bars / trail mix to replace EVERY meal if need be. Of course, buy other food, but always have backups and spares. Keep a water bottle with you and keep emptying it down your throat (every time you find yourself standing still is a good time for a swig, whether you want it or not). The hosting facility will likely put out water, so refill whenever you can. (The author’s sister wisely brings a filter pitcher for the hotel room in her kit.) Sports drink powder too, vital for electrolyte replacement if you plan on drinking alcohol.
Dress accordingly. Wear comfortable shoes. Any convention is a bad time to break in new boots. They are good times, judging by the tone of the thing to wear unusual garments or costumes, which may have their own complications. In costume, be ready to be grabbed for pictures, questions, or just hugged for no good reason. (If you can act a bit, get into character and roll with it.) If you don’t want to show off, then sensible durable clothes are a good idea, as you may have to get rough or move quickly from time to time.
Defense may be needed if you’re bumped jostled or tackled. As with so many situations, the author has always had the most result for the least expense with a good glare, and advocates this where possible. Otherwise, learning to keep your space and move nimbly will solve most issues. (Out maneuvering clumsy folk dressed as ninja has its own special irony.) Offense wise, when pressed, press back, speak up, and keep it moving. Don’t let a crowd endanger or intimidate you.
Keep busy. Keep a schedule of events with you at all times, and keep on the move doing stuff. You paid to get in, make it worthwhile. If you’re not, strike up random chats, socialize, and network. Fandom is not always known for its social skill, but reach out a bit and you can meet some fascinating folks. The author often attends as backup for artists, or to help out with various groups. Perks of this include instant people to hang out with / back you up, as well as the occasional table to sit in at when you get tired. Don’t hesitate to find a chair, wall, corner, or retreat back to your hotel room for a nap now and then. Sleep is GOOD.
Beware of:
I am a sucker for this sort of shit.
My first thought, upon hearing that the Daily Mail was critizing the talentless blob of lard Chris Moyles over a joke he told about Auschwitz, was that Even Evil Has Standards.
Friends, I believe we have made a terrible, terrible mistake.
Roberts put on his black robe and wizard’s hat.
Roberts: “Are you ready to take the oath?”
Obama: Oh, I like to play dress up.
Roberts: Me too baby.
Obama: I kiss you softly on your chest.
Roberts: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
Obama: Hey…
Roberts: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
Obama: Funny I still don’t see it.
Roberts: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
Obama: You are the worst Chief Justice ever. This is ridiculous.
Roberts: Don’t f*ck with me bitch, I’m the mightiest legal scholar of the lands.
Roberts: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 President.
Obama: Don’t ever message me again you piece of ****.
Roberts: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
Roberts: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik’s evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
Roberts: You still there baby? I think it’s getting hard now.
Roberts: Baby?