by 5hroom Bob Penta Pantz

A little discordian game: How to create a traffic JAM without standing in front of a single car.

If you need to create a traffic jam, car chaos, or an escape route for some reason, but you don't want to risk your neck, and have no money to spend - WE HAVE A SOLUTION

Choose a location close to a square or park. Make sure the square has some birds hanging around. Pidgeons and seagulls are great, small birds won't create the same effect. Make sure you're familliar with the area, in case you need to get out quickly.

Start out by feeding the birds with bread, gathering a larger number of birds. (if you do this for a few days in a row, more birds are sure to show up for a free meal) When you feel satisfied with the number of birds, throw the bread closer and closer to the action zone. Soon, you'll be standing less then a throw away from the action zone, with a flock of birds at your command.

To initiate the attack, throw big pieces of bread into the road. The birds will fly over to them and land on the road. Somehow, the drivers won't smash 'em. And after getting the first car to stop, and the cars behind it stop too, you've initiated a jam! Phase two is ready to begin...

Bombard the road and cars with more bread, grain, and other bird food. Get your whole pack to be involved! And their scree's and callings will make more and more birds to come, adding to the chaos.

People that are not used to animals won't know what the fuck to do. And for some reason, communication or stepping out of the car is not really an option.

Another angle: Birds have cannabis receptors too! (most animals do) They get real high even from a small dosage, or bread made from leaves and stalk you won't smoke anyway. Someone might think that to moisten the bread in alcohol is a good idea. A lot of birds tend to die from that, but cannabis on the other hand is kinda hard to over dose on.