Happy now?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

All right, listen up all you goddamn liberals and free-thinkers, cause I'm only gonna say this once, & I'll probably be dead before I have a chance to say it again. And don't call me paranoid, cause I'm not. Every fucking word of this is true, and once you finally believe it, you'll just as soon shoot the next counter-clerk for asking if you really give a shit whether you get paper or plastic. The goddamn Religious Right is all over us, slowly infiltrating our major corporations, our religions, our hotel chains, fast food outlets, data processing plants, local & regional governments, publishing houses, entertainment conglomerates, our press and media - you name it. Slowly litigating into our beings what it's OK to eat, drink, talk about, laugh at, smoke, pray to, kiss, and think about in the dark quiet of our rooms. Slowly, though. Not like jack-booted storm troopers. Not just yet. But with unrelenting creeping slowness as they impose their hypocritical moral values as shackles upon what's left of the free world. Slowly enough so that most don't notice, others don't care to notice, and others willingly offer up their hands and minds to the bondage of the individual spirit all in the name of some crap like "The Common Good". Look around you, Pal. Neo-Nazi Ken-Doll Mall Zombies. And their grunt-labor red-necked henchmen -- all around you. Step out of the inner city and you'll find them everywhere. All looking at you like you're the poor fool who's going to Hell. Well, if it's up to them, you will! A Big-Ass Hell, right here on God's little ball of spit. A Hell that they've created for all of us. And where will they be? In their tunnels under the ground. Stocked with food, bibles, weapons, computers, generators, and instruments of torture more insidious than your worst shit-infested nightmares. All waitng for God's Armageddon, a concept some asshole dreamed up centuries ago just to keep us all constantly looking over our shoulders, a concept that they want more than anything to be the ones to put into reality. And who pays for all this? Not the slime-asses who'll be hiding down there when all the shit hits, but all those blue-hair dupes and lackeys, slaves to the blasphemies of the Church. (hell, any Church - pick one) Pinhead paranoids who truly believe that a penthouse suite in the hereafter can only be purchased by pledging their kids' inheritance to some fucking telethon. Fear, manipulation, government-funded ignorance, our addiction to authority, and our church-sponsored self-loathing have created a cancerous, festering black spot on our souls more insidious than any cum-shot or narcotic you could name right now. Just take a look at the population nestled in the chafe of the Bible Belt: The sunken chin. That vague 'Down's Syndrome' glare in the eyes. Is it any wonder that Christian Fundementalism is the religion of choice where genetic in-breeding is the norm? Who else could fall for such superstitious backwards bull-shit hocus pocus? And the boys at the top want it that way! Our Church leaders, our industry leaders, our elected officials... take a look at the paper: cover up, cover-up, cover-up. Every day! And we're only seeing one-tenth of one percent of what's really going on behind our asses. These corporate fascists are tired of covering up, and they're working tirelessly to create a world where they can pull their shit off openly, in front of us, around us, and on us; and he who dares speak up will either be killed outright or whisked off to some detainment center for experimentation. Right-wing fanatic Roman Catholic dictators laundering their cocaine cartel money by tithing it to the Vatican Bank! Our own CIA funding it's covert activities by selling cocaine hijacked from independent producers. No one's hands are clean. The top of the pyramid is covered with shit and blood. Their shit, and our blood. Litton Industries. They created the AIDS virus years ago in a government lab run by a former Nazi pardoned by George Bush's father when he was Senate majority leader back in the 40's. Yes! From the same U.S. Government that tested nuclear fallout and Agent Orange on its very own soldiers, and then said they couldn't sue. We killed John Wayne! Why did the entire cast and crew of The Conqueror die of cancer after working down-wind from a nuclear test site? Who fucked our brains with LSD and then replaced it with cheap killer heroin just when folks were starting to enjoy it? It's all over us and there's no escape, and it's all done in the name of GOD! Their GOD! The GOD of power. The GOD of Domination. The GOD of fascist enslavement! The GOD of Death! Are we so complacent that we sat there in front of our TV dinners while we let it all go so far? We are surrounded by Nazi Ken-Doll Mall Zombies who know us to be the enemy. They want to turn us into lackey computer chips. Slaves to our Day Runners, our pagers, our car phones, our interest payments. To take every human variable out of being human so we can run faster and jump higher... for them! How'm I driving? If I'm not hustlin', call my boss. Report all suspicious behavior to the thought police... next we'll be having our social security numbers tatooed on our noses. The sum total of our achievements reduced to mason jars and urinalisis. No one escapes. No one is innocent by their rules, where freedom of thought and the sancity of the individual are crimes against the economy. This bull shit morality! This neo-Victorian soul enslaving puritanism, all done in the name of some guy with long hair who died nailed to a cross at 33. Jesus was a dissident!! He died for his ideas! He was a political prisoner! If I was his ol' man and I knew what would be coming down 2000 years later, I woulda drowned the fucker in the bathtub rather than let those self-righteous assholes destroy the planet IN HIS NAME!! Suck my dick, you pink-eared crew-cut mall zombies. I laugh at your yearbook picture you twerp geeks. And what about the Mormons? Why do we need caffeine free Coke? Because they fucking own the Coca Cola Company, Idiot! And take a look around the magazine stand at the Salt Lake City Airport. Why the fuck do you think you'll see Guns and Ammo but not Playboy? I'll tell you what's poor taste! I'll tell you what's pornographic! White supremacist soldiers of fortune ass wipes who'd rather have a gun in their face than a tit! That's pornographic! What's more of a sin against God? Sucking on a warm, soft, sensitive fleshy human orb that rolls the best of Mom, God, and your Lover all into the One, or sucking on a cold rod of blue steel that can blow your little pin-head all over the fucking wall? In fact, show me a tit that's killed someone, and I'll suck the damn thing myself. That's what I say... I say bring on the Killer Tits, you backwards conniving Mormon Assholes!!! What they do in God's name makes me wanna puke. Looking at me like I'm the freak because I don't wanna walk between their lines, and fill out their forms with their number two lead pencils. Slowly, as they replace us with polite, well-pressed computer chip clones of who we were with all the non-Christian parts taken out. Lobotomy by computer! Reducing whole entities to a series of zeroes and ones, and then taking out the ones that USA Today says we don't need. And then bio-engineering us to die of cancer just as we approach retirement age, or die of AIDS, which is what they would prefer if we should happen to swing 'that way'. Satan, it's your world all right. Run by lawyers and accountants, the courts and the military. And of course The Church. Jesus Fuck You on all the churches. Little Maloes that slipped over our heads and turned into collars that you hold the leashes to. While opportunistic real-estate trash sell our planet out from under us. Yes, Satan. I am your slave. I am yours. You own the rights to me until I die. But I am your unwilling slave. I will not go quietly, whilst I silently spit unseen bits of mucous onto your lemon mousse which I serve to you on my knees. Yes, I know that each day, more and more of my life is yours. Through religion, legislation, taxation, coersion, and corporate manipulation, you are turning this world into your Nazi Ken-Doll Mall Zombie playground. I have no escape but death, where I will wait to see you in Hell, where MY God, the true God of love will raise me up to his Kingdom, where we will stand together as one and piss on your fucking head! Se la! An' ay-man!!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Time to change up the spam...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

They can feed a third world country for a month on the pus from my zits! Andrea Dworkin stood in line to beg to give me a rim-job! I'm cable ready! I have creative licence to kill! I invented the simulcast and fed the networks three separate angles of the crack of my ass! The stars are naught but cumwads shaken against the sky that I didn't bother to lick from my palms! My navel is a MIDI port! I sold my mother into slavery! I circumcised my father and ate the sleeve! I piss in phonebooths while making collect calls! I cooked the bloody rag of the Virgin Mary into an omlette and served it to the Apostles. God is my co-pilot and we're flyin' straight for the moist nether region of Amelia Erhart!! I give assholes to inanimate objects just for the pleasure of sodomizing them! I was the first man to get AIDS from an African Green Monkey and laugh it out of my system! I tought G. Gordon Liddy how to lie! I am wanted in 51 states of conciousness! I have an autographed copy of the Bible! I dropped acid with Buddah and had to talk him down! I shoot meter maids! I gave the President skin cancer. I taught Nancy all she knows about Anorexia. I just say YES! Brooke Shields turned tricks to finance my way through college! Fuck me if you can't take a joke! I fuck myself so good I tip myself for a hand-job! I drive the cars of dead relatives! I am a lesbian in a man's body!

I get drunk and shoot cum into my third eye! I am the cause of spontanious combustion! I may be white and bright but I have a black dick! I sing the blues! I can clean a whole cat box without having to take a breath! I'm a rum runner, and a gun runner, and a gum chewer! I am the fifth dentist! God tests his material on me before taking it to the stage! I sold the trademark on hell for coke money! I am the eye of the hurricane! My Grandmother taught me how to French Kiss! I am the one who never leaves a message on your answering machine! I say Fuck the Dogma! I say kill the High Priests! I say "Bob" helps those who kills themselves! J. Edgar Hoover thought he was the Anti-Christ. Look at the Name: J. Edgar Hoover....

J E Hoover.... Jehoover.... The head of the conspiracy that dare not speak his Own Name!!! I say fuck the false Prophets! I only want true Profits! And if you won't I'll fuck them myself! Praise "Bob!" I'll kill myself before I see this become just another article in People Magazine, and I'll kill you right after that just to show you I was'nt fooling! I am a party animal! My ancestors brought the first keg to the Donner Party! Fucked being a vegetarian just to stay alive....

Praise "Bob," It's great to be a SubGenius.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

They can feed a third world country for a month on the pus from my zits! Andrea Dworkin stood in line to beg to give me a rim-job! I'm cable ready! I have creative licence to kill! I invented the simulcast and fed the networks three separate angles of the crack of my ass! The stars are naught but cumwads shaken against the sky that I didn't bother to lick from my palms! My navel is a MIDI port! I sold my mother into slavery! I circumcised my father and ate the sleeve! I piss in phonebooths while making collect calls! I cooked the bloody rag of the Virgin Mary into an omlette and served it to the Apostles. God is my co-pilot and we're flyin' straight for the moist nether region of Amelia Erhart!! I give assholes to inanimate objects just for the pleasure of sodomizing them! I was the first man to get AIDS from an African Green Monkey and laugh it out of my system! I tought G. Gordon Liddy how to lie! I am wanted in 51 states of conciousness! I have an autographed copy of the Bible! I dropped acid with Buddah and had to talk him down! I shoot meter maids! I gave the President skin cancer. I taught Nancy all she knows about Anorexia. I just say YES! Brooke Shields turned tricks to finance my way through college! Fuck me if you can't take a joke! I fuck myself so good I tip myself for a hand-job! I drive the cars of dead relatives! I am a lesbian in a man's body!

I get drunk and shoot cum into my third eye! I am the cause of spontanious combustion! I may be white and bright but I have a black dick! I sing the blues! I can clean a whole cat box without having to take a breath! I'm a rum runner, and a gun runner, and a gum chewer! I am the fifth dentist! God tests his material on me before taking it to the stage! I sold the trademark on hell for coke money! I am the eye of the hurricane! My Grandmother taught me how to French Kiss! I am the one who never leaves a message on your answering machine! I say Fuck the Dogma! I say kill the High Priests! I say "Bob" helps those who kills themselves! J. Edgar Hoover thought he was the Anti-Christ. Look at the Name: J. Edgar Hoover....

J E Hoover.... Jehoover.... The head of the conspiracy that dare not speak his Own Name!!! I say fuck the false Prophets! I only want true Profits! And if you won't I'll fuck them myself! Praise "Bob!" I'll kill myself before I see this become just another article in People Magazine, and I'll kill you right after that just to show you I was'nt fooling! I am a party animal! My ancestors brought the first keg to the Donner Party! Fucked being a vegetarian just to stay alive....

Praise "Bob," It's great to be a SubGenius.

[Bhode_Sativa]

its about time, I'd already finished reading the last one.

[BADGE OF HONOR]

There's no real point in trying to insult Tigger; your mere existence has already done enough damage.


I harbor no personal ill will against you, bhode, it's just that you're saying a lot of shit that A) exhibits muddy thinking and B) we've all seen before many, many times (anarchy  :lulz: ).  There are any number of places on the internet that would be willing to accept your shitty ramblings but this is not one of them.  You have to be able to argue well to get along with us and you haven't yet displayed that ability.  Hell, even Cow Ass did a better job of defending himself.  So yes, you are going to get "picked on" until you say something worthwhile.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

There's no real point in trying to insult Tigger; your mere existence has already done enough damage.


I harbor no personal ill will against you, bhode, it's just that you're saying a lot of shit that A) exhibits muddy thinking and B) we've all seen before many, many times (anarchy  :lulz: ).  There are any number of places on the internet that would be willing to accept your shitty ramblings but this is not one of them.  You have to be able to argue well to get along with us and you haven't yet displayed that ability.  Hell, even Cow Ass did a better job of defending himself.  So yes, you are going to get "picked on" until you say something worthwhile.

1.  169% TROOF.  I've been insulted by professionals.

2.  He'll get picked on then, too.

TGRR,
There is some shit I will not eat, and having my tagline attached to this rancid piece of drivel is one example.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

its about time, I'd already finished reading the last one.

They can feed a third world country for a month on the pus from my zits! Andrea Dworkin stood in line to beg to give me a rim-job! I'm cable ready! I have creative licence to kill! I invented the simulcast and fed the networks three separate angles of the crack of my ass! The stars are naught but cumwads shaken against the sky that I didn't bother to lick from my palms! My navel is a MIDI port! I sold my mother into slavery! I circumcised my father and ate the sleeve! I piss in phonebooths while making collect calls! I cooked the bloody rag of the Virgin Mary into an omlette and served it to the Apostles. God is my co-pilot and we're flyin' straight for the moist nether region of Amelia Erhart!! I give assholes to inanimate objects just for the pleasure of sodomizing them! I was the first man to get AIDS from an African Green Monkey and laugh it out of my system! I tought G. Gordon Liddy how to lie! I am wanted in 51 states of conciousness! I have an autographed copy of the Bible! I dropped acid with Buddah and had to talk him down! I shoot meter maids! I gave the President skin cancer. I taught Nancy all she knows about Anorexia. I just say YES! Brooke Shields turned tricks to finance my way through college! Fuck me if you can't take a joke! I fuck myself so good I tip myself for a hand-job! I drive the cars of dead relatives! I am a lesbian in a man's body!

I get drunk and shoot cum into my third eye! I am the cause of spontanious combustion! I may be white and bright but I have a black dick! I sing the blues! I can clean a whole cat box without having to take a breath! I'm a rum runner, and a gun runner, and a gum chewer! I am the fifth dentist! God tests his material on me before taking it to the stage! I sold the trademark on hell for coke money! I am the eye of the hurricane! My Grandmother taught me how to French Kiss! I am the one who never leaves a message on your answering machine! I say Fuck the Dogma! I say kill the High Priests! I say "Bob" helps those who kills themselves! J. Edgar Hoover thought he was the Anti-Christ. Look at the Name: J. Edgar Hoover....

J E Hoover.... Jehoover.... The head of the conspiracy that dare not speak his Own Name!!! I say fuck the false Prophets! I only want true Profits! And if you won't I'll fuck them myself! Praise "Bob!" I'll kill myself before I see this become just another article in People Magazine, and I'll kill you right after that just to show you I was'nt fooling! I am a party animal! My ancestors brought the first keg to the Donner Party! Fucked being a vegetarian just to stay alive....

Praise "Bob," It's great to be a SubGenius.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

They can feed a third world country for a month on the pus from my zits! Andrea Dworkin stood in line to beg to give me a rim-job! I'm cable ready! I have creative licence to kill! I invented the simulcast and fed the networks three separate angles of the crack of my ass! The stars are naught but cumwads shaken against the sky that I didn't bother to lick from my palms! My navel is a MIDI port! I sold my mother into slavery! I circumcised my father and ate the sleeve! I piss in phonebooths while making collect calls! I cooked the bloody rag of the Virgin Mary into an omlette and served it to the Apostles. God is my co-pilot and we're flyin' straight for the moist nether region of Amelia Erhart!! I give assholes to inanimate objects just for the pleasure of sodomizing them! I was the first man to get AIDS from an African Green Monkey and laugh it out of my system! I tought G. Gordon Liddy how to lie! I am wanted in 51 states of conciousness! I have an autographed copy of the Bible! I dropped acid with Buddah and had to talk him down! I shoot meter maids! I gave the President skin cancer. I taught Nancy all she knows about Anorexia. I just say YES! Brooke Shields turned tricks to finance my way through college! Fuck me if you can't take a joke! I fuck myself so good I tip myself for a hand-job! I drive the cars of dead relatives! I am a lesbian in a man's body!

I get drunk and shoot cum into my third eye! I am the cause of spontanious combustion! I may be white and bright but I have a black dick! I sing the blues! I can clean a whole cat box without having to take a breath! I'm a rum runner, and a gun runner, and a gum chewer! I am the fifth dentist! God tests his material on me before taking it to the stage! I sold the trademark on hell for coke money! I am the eye of the hurricane! My Grandmother taught me how to French Kiss! I am the one who never leaves a message on your answering machine! I say Fuck the Dogma! I say kill the High Priests! I say "Bob" helps those who kills themselves! J. Edgar Hoover thought he was the Anti-Christ. Look at the Name: J. Edgar Hoover....

J E Hoover.... Jehoover.... The head of the conspiracy that dare not speak his Own Name!!! I say fuck the false Prophets! I only want true Profits! And if you won't I'll fuck them myself! Praise "Bob!" I'll kill myself before I see this become just another article in People Magazine, and I'll kill you right after that just to show you I was'nt fooling! I am a party animal! My ancestors brought the first keg to the Donner Party! Fucked being a vegetarian just to stay alive....

Praise "Bob," It's great to be a SubGenius.

[BADGE OF HONOR]

It's now that I smugly point out that I've stolen "or kill me" with no consequences whatsoever. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

It's now that I smugly point out that I've stolen "or kill me" with no consequences whatsoever. 

Well, that's because you don't post tripe.

[BADGE OF HONOR]

Well I actually learned when to keep my mouth shut instead of spewing my teen angst where other people could see it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Well, it's high time I gobbled some pain pills and floated off for the night.

Be sure to post lots of stuff for me to poop on tomorrow, Bhode.

TGRR,
Has weeks of convalescence ahead of him, and nothing to do but shit on you.

[Bhode_Sativa]

I realize I have not had the same experience as everyone else, but I wonder what could be more important than making sure we don't waste the planet?  And what's wrong with anarchy, it worked before?  I've seen many problems with our current system, and working within it to affect change seems impossible, which leaves scrapping the whole mess and starting over.  Yes, personal freedoms are being impinged by the panopticon.  Yes, they really are all out to get you.  But if the planet dies, there'll be no one left to get.  Neh?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I realize I have not had the same experience as everyone else, but I wonder what could be more important than making sure we don't waste the planet?  And what's wrong with anarchy, it worked before?  I've seen many problems with our current system, and working within it to affect change seems impossible, which leaves scrapping the whole mess and starting over.  Yes, personal freedoms are being impinged by the panopticon.  Yes, they really are all out to get you.  But if the planet dies, there'll be no one left to get.  Neh?

I lied.  Still here.

They can feed a third world country for a month on the pus from my zits! Andrea Dworkin stood in line to beg to give me a rim-job! I'm cable ready! I have creative licence to kill! I invented the simulcast and fed the networks three separate angles of the crack of my ass! The stars are naught but cumwads shaken against the sky that I didn't bother to lick from my palms! My navel is a MIDI port! I sold my mother into slavery! I circumcised my father and ate the sleeve! I piss in phonebooths while making collect calls! I cooked the bloody rag of the Virgin Mary into an omlette and served it to the Apostles. God is my co-pilot and we're flyin' straight for the moist nether region of Amelia Erhart!! I give assholes to inanimate objects just for the pleasure of sodomizing them! I was the first man to get AIDS from an African Green Monkey and laugh it out of my system! I tought G. Gordon Liddy how to lie! I am wanted in 51 states of conciousness! I have an autographed copy of the Bible! I dropped acid with Buddah and had to talk him down! I shoot meter maids! I gave the President skin cancer. I taught Nancy all she knows about Anorexia. I just say YES! Brooke Shields turned tricks to finance my way through college! Fuck me if you can't take a joke! I fuck myself so good I tip myself for a hand-job! I drive the cars of dead relatives! I am a lesbian in a man's body!

I get drunk and shoot cum into my third eye! I am the cause of spontanious combustion! I may be white and bright but I have a black dick! I sing the blues! I can clean a whole cat box without having to take a breath! I'm a rum runner, and a gun runner, and a gum chewer! I am the fifth dentist! God tests his material on me before taking it to the stage! I sold the trademark on hell for coke money! I am the eye of the hurricane! My Grandmother taught me how to French Kiss! I am the one who never leaves a message on your answering machine! I say Fuck the Dogma! I say kill the High Priests! I say "Bob" helps those who kills themselves! J. Edgar Hoover thought he was the Anti-Christ. Look at the Name: J. Edgar Hoover....

J E Hoover.... Jehoover.... The head of the conspiracy that dare not speak his Own Name!!! I say fuck the false Prophets! I only want true Profits! And if you won't I'll fuck them myself! Praise "Bob!" I'll kill myself before I see this become just another article in People Magazine, and I'll kill you right after that just to show you I was'nt fooling! I am a party animal! My ancestors brought the first keg to the Donner Party! Fucked being a vegetarian just to stay alive....

Praise "Bob," It's great to be a SubGenius.

They can feed a third world country for a month on the pus from my zits! Andrea Dworkin stood in line to beg to give me a rim-job! I'm cable ready! I have creative licence to kill! I invented the simulcast and fed the networks three separate angles of the crack of my ass! The stars are naught but cumwads shaken against the sky that I didn't bother to lick from my palms! My navel is a MIDI port! I sold my mother into slavery! I circumcised my father and ate the sleeve! I piss in phonebooths while making collect calls! I cooked the bloody rag of the Virgin Mary into an omlette and served it to the Apostles. God is my co-pilot and we're flyin' straight for the moist nether region of Amelia Erhart!! I give assholes to inanimate objects just for the pleasure of sodomizing them! I was the first man to get AIDS from an African Green Monkey and laugh it out of my system! I tought G. Gordon Liddy how to lie! I am wanted in 51 states of conciousness! I have an autographed copy of the Bible! I dropped acid with Buddah and had to talk him down! I shoot meter maids! I gave the President skin cancer. I taught Nancy all she knows about Anorexia. I just say YES! Brooke Shields turned tricks to finance my way through college! Fuck me if you can't take a joke! I fuck myself so good I tip myself for a hand-job! I drive the cars of dead relatives! I am a lesbian in a man's body!

I get drunk and shoot cum into my third eye! I am the cause of spontanious combustion! I may be white and bright but I have a black dick! I sing the blues! I can clean a whole cat box without having to take a breath! I'm a rum runner, and a gun runner, and a gum chewer! I am the fifth dentist! God tests his material on me before taking it to the stage! I sold the trademark on hell for coke money! I am the eye of the hurricane! My Grandmother taught me how to French Kiss! I am the one who never leaves a message on your answering machine! I say Fuck the Dogma! I say kill the High Priests! I say "Bob" helps those who kills themselves! J. Edgar Hoover thought he was the Anti-Christ. Look at the Name: J. Edgar Hoover....

J E Hoover.... Jehoover.... The head of the conspiracy that dare not speak his Own Name!!! I say fuck the false Prophets! I only want true Profits! And if you won't I'll fuck them myself! Praise "Bob!" I'll kill myself before I see this become just another article in People Magazine, and I'll kill you right after that just to show you I was'nt fooling! I am a party animal! My ancestors brought the first keg to the Donner Party! Fucked being a vegetarian just to stay alive....

Praise "Bob," It's great to be a SubGenius.

They can feed a third world country for a month on the pus from my zits! Andrea Dworkin stood in line to beg to give me a rim-job! I'm cable ready! I have creative licence to kill! I invented the simulcast and fed the networks three separate angles of the crack of my ass! The stars are naught but cumwads shaken against the sky that I didn't bother to lick from my palms! My navel is a MIDI port! I sold my mother into slavery! I circumcised my father and ate the sleeve! I piss in phonebooths while making collect calls! I cooked the bloody rag of the Virgin Mary into an omlette and served it to the Apostles. God is my co-pilot and we're flyin' straight for the moist nether region of Amelia Erhart!! I give assholes to inanimate objects just for the pleasure of sodomizing them! I was the first man to get AIDS from an African Green Monkey and laugh it out of my system! I tought G. Gordon Liddy how to lie! I am wanted in 51 states of conciousness! I have an autographed copy of the Bible! I dropped acid with Buddah and had to talk him down! I shoot meter maids! I gave the President skin cancer. I taught Nancy all she knows about Anorexia. I just say YES! Brooke Shields turned tricks to finance my way through college! Fuck me if you can't take a joke! I fuck myself so good I tip myself for a hand-job! I drive the cars of dead relatives! I am a lesbian in a man's body!

I get drunk and shoot cum into my third eye! I am the cause of spontanious combustion! I may be white and bright but I have a black dick! I sing the blues! I can clean a whole cat box without having to take a breath! I'm a rum runner, and a gun runner, and a gum chewer! I am the fifth dentist! God tests his material on me before taking it to the stage! I sold the trademark on hell for coke money! I am the eye of the hurricane! My Grandmother taught me how to French Kiss! I am the one who never leaves a message on your answering machine! I say Fuck the Dogma! I say kill the High Priests! I say "Bob" helps those who kills themselves! J. Edgar Hoover thought he was the Anti-Christ. Look at the Name: J. Edgar Hoover....

J E Hoover.... Jehoover.... The head of the conspiracy that dare not speak his Own Name!!! I say fuck the false Prophets! I only want true Profits! And if you won't I'll fuck them myself! Praise "Bob!" I'll kill myself before I see this become just another article in People Magazine, and I'll kill you right after that just to show you I was'nt fooling! I am a party animal! My ancestors brought the first keg to the Donner Party! Fucked being a vegetarian just to stay alive....

Praise "Bob," It's great to be a SubGenius.

They can feed a third world country for a month on the pus from my zits! Andrea Dworkin stood in line to beg to give me a rim-job! I'm cable ready! I have creative licence to kill! I invented the simulcast and fed the networks three separate angles of the crack of my ass! The stars are naught but cumwads shaken against the sky that I didn't bother to lick from my palms! My navel is a MIDI port! I sold my mother into slavery! I circumcised my father and ate the sleeve! I piss in phonebooths while making collect calls! I cooked the bloody rag of the Virgin Mary into an omlette and served it to the Apostles. God is my co-pilot and we're flyin' straight for the moist nether region of Amelia Erhart!! I give assholes to inanimate objects just for the pleasure of sodomizing them! I was the first man to get AIDS from an African Green Monkey and laugh it out of my system! I tought G. Gordon Liddy how to lie! I am wanted in 51 states of conciousness! I have an autographed copy of the Bible! I dropped acid with Buddah and had to talk him down! I shoot meter maids! I gave the President skin cancer. I taught Nancy all she knows about Anorexia. I just say YES! Brooke Shields turned tricks to finance my way through college! Fuck me if you can't take a joke! I fuck myself so good I tip myself for a hand-job! I drive the cars of dead relatives! I am a lesbian in a man's body!

I get drunk and shoot cum into my third eye! I am the cause of spontanious combustion! I may be white and bright but I have a black dick! I sing the blues! I can clean a whole cat box without having to take a breath! I'm a rum runner, and a gun runner, and a gum chewer! I am the fifth dentist! God tests his material on me before taking it to the stage! I sold the trademark on hell for coke money! I am the eye of the hurricane! My Grandmother taught me how to French Kiss! I am the one who never leaves a message on your answering machine! I say Fuck the Dogma! I say kill the High Priests! I say "Bob" helps those who kills themselves! J. Edgar Hoover thought he was the Anti-Christ. Look at the Name: J. Edgar Hoover....

J E Hoover.... Jehoover.... The head of the conspiracy that dare not speak his Own Name!!! I say fuck the false Prophets! I only want true Profits! And if you won't I'll fuck them myself! Praise "Bob!" I'll kill myself before I see this become just another article in People Magazine, and I'll kill you right after that just to show you I was'nt fooling! I am a party animal! My ancestors brought the first keg to the Donner Party! Fucked being a vegetarian just to stay alive....

Praise "Bob," It's great to be a SubGenius.