So you want to be a biped...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Congratulations.  The very fact that you are reading this means you have at least a vague feeling that something isn't quite right with society.  Whether you are rich or poor, a genius or a retard, a saint or a politician, something is missing.

Well, you're absolutely right.  Something is missing...but what?  Many people go through their whole lives without discovering the answer to that question, and die still not knowing...but The Good Reverend is here to hand you the crib sheet to life's great mystery.

What you're missing is self respect.  Not self-esteem, or any of that other Positive Thinking,Ñ¢ bullshit, but plain old self-respect.  Now all you have to do is find a REASON to respect yourself, because respect unearned isn't really respect.  Best part is, it's actually kind of easy to do.

Stand up. 

Yep, that's it.  Get up on your hind legs.  Be a GODDAMN HUMAN, instead of a bleating sheep (And, as Saintess Rubber Ducky once said, even a black sheep is still a sheep)!  Now, to do this, you're going to have to learn a couple of skills. 

The first skill you're going to have to master is to stop believing lies just because they're comfortable...after all, when you stand up from the herd, you aren't going to be surrounded by the fleece of your fellow sheep, and it can get kinda cold, so you'd better get used to being uncomfortable...and it's really EASY to start believing those lies again, and before you know it, you're back munching grass with your fellow "citizens". 

So you're going to have to unlearn certain things...like the "fact" that YOUR political party of "choice" is somehow different than the so-called "other parties".  Face truths like the fact that the republic hasn't existed for decades, and America isn't the land of the free, but the land of the comfortable drones, whose shackles of slavery just happen to be of the finest quality materials. A gem-studded collar is still a collar.

The other thing you're going to have to learn is to think for your fucking self.  The Good Reverend isn't here to tell you what to think or what to do...that's what Scientologists do, and I just can't bring myself to be seen in public with Tom Cruise.

Now, to be able to THINK for yourself, you're going to have to have data to work with, and not the kind that Fox and ABC and CNN are prepared to shove down your throat.  That means you're going to have to READ...and don't start jabbering about Michael Coulter or Ann Moore's latest book, because the kind of reading you're going to have to do is written by people that aren't so telegenic.  I'd suggest Thomas Paine for starters, but that's just a personal preference.

So now you know.  And now you're going to have to choose...

...STAND UP OR SHUT UP, ASSTARD!

Or kill me.

[BADGE OF HONOR]

So you're going to have to unlearn certain things...like the "fact" that YOUR political party of "choice" is somehow different than the so-called "other parties".

Wait, are you saying that they are different then?

[hunter s.durden]

Same Hydras, different heads.
Someone hearing me bash Anneorexia Coulter thought I was on board with Michael Moore-to-eat. I hate that shit. How dare someone polarize my hate.

This one is going in all their shitty books at the library.
(i.e. Godless, Stupid White Men) Fuck those books.

[Thurnez Isa]

What you're missing is self respect.¬† Not self-esteem, or any of that other Positive Thinking™ bullshit, but plain old self-respect.¬† Now all you have to do is find a REASON to respect yourself, because respect unearned isn't really respect.¬†

im trying to think of a way to put that in a one sentence meme

[Jenne]

What you're missing is self respect.  Not self-esteem, or any of that other Positive Thinking,Ñ¢ bullshit, but plain old self-respect.  Now all you have to do is find a REASON to respect yourself, because respect unearned isn't really respect. 

im trying to think of a way to put that in a one sentence meme

That part stood out to me, too.

I really like this one.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What you're missing is self respect.¬† Not self-esteem, or any of that other Positive Thinking,Ñ¢ bullshit, but plain old self-respect.¬† Now all you have to do is find a REASON to respect yourself, because respect unearned isn't really respect.¬†

im trying to think of a way to put that in a one sentence meme

That part stood out to me, too.

I really like this one.

Thanks.

[P3nT4gR4m]

What you're missing is self respect.  Not self-esteem, or any of that other Positive Thinking,Ñ¢ bullshit, but plain old self-respect.  Now all you have to do is find a REASON to respect yourself, because respect unearned isn't really respect. 

im trying to think of a way to put that in a one sentence meme

"respect unearned isn't really respect" ?

It kinda changes the context but is still very troof.

[Thurnez Isa]

"self esteem does not equal self respect" is the one i thought of
but it sucks...

[Thurnez Isa]

problem is if you take it out of context it doesnt really jive as well as it does in context

[P3nT4gR4m]

I kinda like the alternative connotation of "respect unearned isn't really respect"

Like why should you respect politicans and the police and all the other bullshitters?

[Benaclypse]

Please to respect the goody-goody bipeds. ~bumper sticker for an electric Harley.

[hunter s.durden]

What you're missing is self respect.¬† Not self-esteem, or any of that other Positive Thinking,Ñ¢ bullshit, but plain old self-respect.¬† Now all you have to do is find a REASON to respect yourself, because respect unearned isn't really respect.¬†

im trying to think of a way to put that in a one sentence meme

Maybe you'll just have to make the whole thing a bomb. Some thing are just too good to be abridged and repackaged. This is one message where you certainly don't want to lose any potency.