Random News Stories

[Don Coyote]

Just makes me wonder what they got planned to fill in for the gap now they took away this horrible things now that people are relieved over they soon to be absence.

[AFK]

The article basically says they're just going to put in more metal detectors and the "stick-figure" scanners, whatever those are.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Something unpleasant, I'm sure.

[Junkenstein]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/pakistan/9810886/Pakistan-prime-minister-investigator-found-dead.html

Officials said Kamran Faisal was found hanging from a ceiling fan in the government hostel where he lived with other colleagues from the National Accountability Bureau (NAB).
He was one of the officers pursuing allegations that Raja Pervez Ashraf received kickbacks during his time as water and power minister in 2010. The Supreme Court ordered Mr Ashraf's arrest this week but the head of NAB, refused saying there was insufficient evidence.
Police said Mr Faisal's death appeared to be suicide.

Nothing to see here, move along.

[Cain]

Yeah.

Pakistan's power infrastructure was notoriously corrupt even before this, so while the PM may not have ordered a hit, he almost certainly is an acquaintance of the person who did.

[Junkenstein]

It was kind of inevitable. This was interesting though:

Mr Faisal and another investigating officer were taken off the investigation recently by the head of NAB, who was reported to be unhappy with their performance.

And as you noted, it's not really a big secret. I wonder why exactly he was unhappy? Finding too much or too little?

Also the stinger:

His death will provide fodder for the nation's conspiracy theorists and rabid talk show hosts, who need little evidence to deduce the hand of shadowy puppetmasters behind every twist and turn in public life

Because nothing shady has ever happened round them parts. Or any parts for that matter.

[Cain]

Indeed.

Would this be a bad time to note the Telegraph is MI6's favourite paper?  Not that the intelligence services ever feed stories to them, or influence their reporting in any way.  They just really, really like the writers there.

[Junkenstein]

Well I guess I'm spending tomorrow looking at how the telegrapgh reported the whole "dead spy in a bag in the bath" situation.

[Cain]

I believe it was "lol gays".  More or less.

[Junkenstein]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2269094/North-Korean-parents-eat-children-driven-mad-hunger-famine-hit-pariah-state.html?ICO=most_read_module

TL;DR version - North Koreans are eating everyone. Zombies imminent.

[Pergamos]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2269094/North-Korean-parents-eat-children-driven-mad-hunger-famine-hit-pariah-state.html?ICO=most_read_module

TL;DR version - North Koreans are eating everyone. Zombies imminent.

Haven't they been eating people for a while now?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2269094/North-Korean-parents-eat-children-driven-mad-hunger-famine-hit-pariah-state.html?ICO=most_read_module

TL;DR version - North Koreans are eating everyone. Zombies imminent.

Well, thank God they don't have assault rifles, anyway.  That has to count for something.

[Junkenstein]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2269094/North-Korean-parents-eat-children-driven-mad-hunger-famine-hit-pariah-state.html?ICO=most_read_module

TL;DR version - North Koreans are eating everyone. Zombies imminent.

Haven't they been eating people for a while now?

Quite probably. I suspect the level of cannibalism worldwide is actually much higher than thought. I'm basing this on the multitude of news stories a month involving consumption of humans.


Equality movement for 2025- People who eat people are people too. Cloning may be at the point by then where the Long Pig restaurant is viable.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2269094/North-Korean-parents-eat-children-driven-mad-hunger-famine-hit-pariah-state.html?ICO=most_read_module

TL;DR version - North Koreans are eating everyone. Zombies imminent.

Well, thank God they don't have assault rifles, anyway.  That has to count for something.

Hopefully they'll pass some laws to ban eating children, in order to prevent this sort of thing from happening.

[Pergamos]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2269094/North-Korean-parents-eat-children-driven-mad-hunger-famine-hit-pariah-state.html?ICO=most_read_module

TL;DR version - North Koreans are eating everyone. Zombies imminent.

Well, thank God they don't have assault rifles, anyway.  That has to count for something.

Hopefully they'll pass some laws to ban eating children, in order to prevent this sort of thing from happening.

How wrong is it that this made me laugh harder than anything else I have read today?