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The Good Reverend Roger

#3240
March 12, 2014, 03:15:48 PM
Quote from: Nobody understands birds on March 12, 2014, 03:12:26 PM
I din't do it

Why everybody gotta always look at me when this shit happens.

DEAR DARK EMPRESS:

With all due respect, while we MAY have been born at night, it wasn't LAST night.  This is not our first rodeo.  No.  We remember what happened to Indianapolis.

Love & Loyalty,
Your adoring subjects
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#3241
March 12, 2014, 03:22:19 PM
Quote from: Scilon Agent on March 12, 2014, 03:16:23 PM
Ha! Terrans never cease to amuse. The facts of the matter are that this planet is a dumping ground for the refuse of our Empire. All of the artists, criminals, rebels, scientists, philosophers and comedians are banished to your planet so that the rest of the Marcab Confederacy can live peaceful and orderly lives without disruption.

Dear Communist Alien Freaks:

Despite your rather classy allusion to a noted science fiction artist, we are not impressed.   We are aware of your occasional dumping of dissidents on our planet.  You may notice that said dumping seems to coincide with "McDonalds" bringing back "The McRib". 

What you fail to understand is that we are primates.  That alone should clue you in...As one of our wisest heirophants once said, "GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BREAK".  And we have laid the groundwork for space travel, which is kind of like having Komodo dragons figure doorknobs out.  We make devices that shoot slugs of lead at 1300 fps, and then let anyone and their psychotic gramma buy one.  We inhale carcinogens because we like it.

We will kill you in your sleep and eat you.  There is no malice behind this...It's just how the Hell Planet formed us.  We'll be seeing you real soon.  Leave a light on for us.

Love & Kisses,
The Hairless Apes on Sol III.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#3242
March 12, 2014, 03:24:13 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 12, 2014, 03:15:48 PM
Quote from: Nobody understands birds on March 12, 2014, 03:12:26 PM
I din't do it

Why everybody gotta always look at me when this shit happens.

DEAR DARK EMPRESS:

With all due respect, while we MAY have been born at night, it wasn't LAST night.  This is not our first rodeo.  No.  We remember what happened to Indianapolis.

Love & Loyalty,
Your adoring subjects

:lol:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#3243
March 12, 2014, 03:34:06 PM
Quote from: Scilon Agent on March 12, 2014, 03:26:41 PM
You... you think you people CAME from Terra?! Oh that is rich who told you that bunk? Look around you Terran you are the very definition of an invasive species. You so obviously are not in balance with your biosphere it's beyond ridiculous.

To put it simply, life here began out there. You got turned around and we beleted fucking everything and generations later you actually tell each other that your grandparents were rocks. The Marcab Confederacy is full of people with five fingers and five toes, two eyes and an olfactory hole.

Dear Wretched Alien Goombahs:

We don't CARE where we came from.  We just want to hit things.  To give you an indication of how our society formed (or how it developed after you left), consider the following:

1.  Our atmosphere is radioactive as hell.  This is because we ended one of our parties with fission bombs.  ON OUR OWN PLANET.  Then we spend the next 30 years setting them off as "tests" (read, BOOM "hee hee hee heeeee").

2.  We allow the Welsh to not only exist, but BREED.  Even we don't know why we do this.

3.  All civilizations send their freaks out into the wilderness.  The freaks that survive grow strong, and sing different songs than the parent culture.  Then they come back and fucking said parent culture sideways.

4.  Since you so thoughtfully concealed your presence, we invented Gods.  These Gods tell us to do all manner of awful shit to each other, to the neighbors, and...Well, to you.  Much as Europe invented the monstrosity that is the United States, you have managed to fuck yourself.  It turns out that you aren't much better at long range planning than we are.

So, again, consider this fair warning, and a warning that you do not deserve:  Fuck Off, go far, far away, and erase your records of this place.  Except for the leaving artists here.  The unwashed masses get mad if they don't get their McRib.

Yours Truly,
The Weaponized Ape.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#3244
March 12, 2014, 03:48:42 PM
Well, this went from a chance for some funny satire into some weird one-upmanship role playing assbaggery.

Funny over, leaving thread.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#3245
March 12, 2014, 04:04:17 PM
Nice job breaking it, hero.

The Good Reverend Roger

#3246
March 12, 2014, 04:09:34 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on March 12, 2014, 04:04:17 PM
Nice job breaking it, hero.

I can't stand it.

:facepalm:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Telarus

#3247
March 12, 2014, 06:49:32 PM
That was excellent for a while there, tho. Not all riffs can turn out like the Nessie thread.

Quote from: Scilon Agent on March 12, 2014, 04:06:06 PM
And in other news, Botanists fnord now believe that Mexicans created the Voynich Manuscript, or at least that the mysterious tome fnord was created based on flora in the region.

Neat!

http://www.dailygrail.com/stream/2014/1/Voynich-Manuscript-reveals-secrets-botanists

Apparently not, as this guys has "successfully" decoded some of the plants and one of the star formations: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/21/words-voynich-manuscript-decoded-video_n_4830680.html

Then again, maybe not: http://www.ciphermysteries.com/2014/02/21/stephen-bax-voynich-manuscript

:evil:
Telarus, KSC,
.__.  Keeper of the Contradictory Cephalopod, Zenarchist Swordsman,
(0o)  Tender to the Edible Zen Garden, Ratcheting Metallic Sex Doll of The End Times,
/||\   Episkopos of the Amorphous Dreams Cabal

Join the Doll Underground! Experience the Phantasmagorical Safari!

The Good Reverend Roger

#3248
March 12, 2014, 06:52:10 PM
Quote from: Telarus on March 12, 2014, 06:49:32 PM
That was excellent for a while there, tho. Not all riffs can turn out like the Nessie thread.

It wasn't bad.  It certainly wasn't the worst.  The worst was the time I started hollering at Richter for the low-quality women he was shipping out this way (which turned out to be inflatable dolls, dogs with lipstick on, etc), and then some noob named StormcrowUK came on and shat pinealism all over the thread.  It didn't even survive a half page.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

#3249
March 12, 2014, 10:37:28 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 12, 2014, 03:22:19 PM
Quote from: Scilon Agent on March 12, 2014, 03:16:23 PM
Ha! Terrans never cease to amuse. The facts of the matter are that this planet is a dumping ground for the refuse of our Empire. All of the artists, criminals, rebels, scientists, philosophers and comedians are banished to your planet so that the rest of the Marcab Confederacy can live peaceful and orderly lives without disruption.

Dear Communist Alien Freaks:

Despite your rather classy allusion to a noted science fiction artist, we are not impressed.   We are aware of your occasional dumping of dissidents on our planet.  You may notice that said dumping seems to coincide with "McDonalds" bringing back "The McRib". 

What you fail to understand is that we are primates.  That alone should clue you in...As one of our wisest heirophants once said, "GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BREAK".  And we have laid the groundwork for space travel, which is kind of like having Komodo dragons figure doorknobs out.  We make devices that shoot slugs of lead at 1300 fps, and then let anyone and their psychotic gramma buy one.  We inhale carcinogens because we like it.

We will kill you in your sleep and eat you.  There is no malice behind this...It's just how the Hell Planet formed us.  We'll be seeing you real soon.  Leave a light on for us.

Love & Kisses,
The Hairless Apes on Sol III.

Thread was worth it for this sentence alone. I'd have endured a 200 page drug thread for less than that quote!  :lulz:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

LMNO

#3250
March 12, 2014, 10:40:04 PM
There were some great on liners here.

Calling Fred Durst one of our eminent... Shit. Was it poets or philosophers?  Whatever. GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BREAK as a motto of the human species is brilliant.

The Good Reverend Roger

#3251
March 12, 2014, 11:47:44 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on March 12, 2014, 10:40:04 PM
There were some great on liners here.

Calling Fred Durst one of our eminent... Shit. Was it poets or philosophers?  Whatever. GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BREAK as a motto of the human species is brilliant.

I don't give a fuck what anyone says, the delivery of that line in Breaking Shit made the 90s for me.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#3252
March 12, 2014, 11:48:23 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on March 12, 2014, 10:37:28 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 12, 2014, 03:22:19 PM
Quote from: Scilon Agent on March 12, 2014, 03:16:23 PM
Ha! Terrans never cease to amuse. The facts of the matter are that this planet is a dumping ground for the refuse of our Empire. All of the artists, criminals, rebels, scientists, philosophers and comedians are banished to your planet so that the rest of the Marcab Confederacy can live peaceful and orderly lives without disruption.

Dear Communist Alien Freaks:

Despite your rather classy allusion to a noted science fiction artist, we are not impressed.   We are aware of your occasional dumping of dissidents on our planet.  You may notice that said dumping seems to coincide with "McDonalds" bringing back "The McRib". 

What you fail to understand is that we are primates.  That alone should clue you in...As one of our wisest heirophants once said, "GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BREAK".  And we have laid the groundwork for space travel, which is kind of like having Komodo dragons figure doorknobs out.  We make devices that shoot slugs of lead at 1300 fps, and then let anyone and their psychotic gramma buy one.  We inhale carcinogens because we like it.

We will kill you in your sleep and eat you.  There is no malice behind this...It's just how the Hell Planet formed us.  We'll be seeing you real soon.  Leave a light on for us.

Love & Kisses,
The Hairless Apes on Sol III.

Thread was worth it for this sentence alone. I'd have endured a 200 page drug thread for less than that quote!  :lulz:

:lulz:

Thanks.  The spirit moved me.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Aucoq

#3253
March 13, 2014, 03:49:07 AM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on March 12, 2014, 10:37:28 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 12, 2014, 03:22:19 PM
Quote from: Scilon Agent on March 12, 2014, 03:16:23 PM
Ha! Terrans never cease to amuse. The facts of the matter are that this planet is a dumping ground for the refuse of our Empire. All of the artists, criminals, rebels, scientists, philosophers and comedians are banished to your planet so that the rest of the Marcab Confederacy can live peaceful and orderly lives without disruption.

Dear Communist Alien Freaks:

Despite your rather classy allusion to a noted science fiction artist, we are not impressed.   We are aware of your occasional dumping of dissidents on our planet.  You may notice that said dumping seems to coincide with "McDonalds" bringing back "The McRib". 

What you fail to understand is that we are primates.  That alone should clue you in...As one of our wisest heirophants once said, "GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BREAK".  And we have laid the groundwork for space travel, which is kind of like having Komodo dragons figure doorknobs out.  We make devices that shoot slugs of lead at 1300 fps, and then let anyone and their psychotic gramma buy one.  We inhale carcinogens because we like it.

We will kill you in your sleep and eat you.  There is no malice behind this...It's just how the Hell Planet formed us.  We'll be seeing you real soon.  Leave a light on for us.

Love & Kisses,
The Hairless Apes on Sol III.

Thread was worth it for this sentence alone. I'd have endured a 200 page drug thread for less than that quote!  :lulz:

Same here.  That line killed me.  :lulz:
"All of the world's leading theologists agree only on the notion that God hates no-fault insurance."

Horrid and Sticky Llama Wrangler of Last Week's Forbidden Desire.

Cain

#3254
March 15, 2014, 07:21:37 PM
Damn, this plane story got weird in the last 24 hours.  Highlights:

- One transponder-like device turned off early in flight, just on the edge of the Malaysian land border.  Another turned off over the water.
- Mayalsian military believe the plane turned around and flew back over the Malaysian landmass and into the Straits of Malacca
- Satellite evidence (comms/transmissions, not photos) shows the plane being in the air for at least 4 hours after this.

This sounds like a hijacking.  The Malaysian authorities certainly seem to be hinting at that, without outright stating it.  But if so...why no demands, after a week?  Did it crash before the hijackers could make demands?  And if not a hijacking, then what could induce someone on the plane to turn off those transponders and fly in the direction they did?
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