The Grayface letters - #1

[hunter s.durden]

(Recently the shadow organization know as HIMEOBS, during some clandestine operation, came upon a cache of documents that circulated among the Greyface. These documents detail tips and tactics used by their operatives to disrupt and destroy the Erisian Front and the RU. Though HIMEOBS will not reveal their motives, I can only assume these document were turned over to me to circulate here. If I suddenly stop posting, I was wrong.)

ATTN: All Grayface Commanders

From: Supreme Commander of Western Forces

             The series of documents you will be receiving over the next few weeks will be detailing some of the tactics that you were not taught at the academy. As you know, we have most of the general population under complete control. With positive signs, such as the rise in obesity, the fear of terrorism, and the continued high rating of American Idol, it's easy to see that we are winning this war. Most of the people have no idea we even exist, so keeping them collared has been easy.
              Our problem is not the general population, however. We have amongst the blinded masses a few groups that seek to expose and end our iron control. Groups like the Discordians. The Subgenii. Buddists. Freethinkers who wish to quit buying our goods, and slaving in our fields. Aestetic saints who cast off our chains. These types are the reason you've been tapped. The popularity and convienience of the internet has the Freethinker fire buring out of control. Right now as you read this, another young man is being taught that he might not need a sixty dollar T-shirt.
               Tactics used on regular people can be quite ineffectual against a Freethinker. They see the chains and are actively casting them off, and worse yet, spreading their ideas of freedom and individualism. You are going to need to work harder, and be more subversive than ever to subdue this crowd. Luckily a Freethinker is still an ape. He still has an ape brain and ape needs. Therefore, with a bit of tweeking, our tactics can prevail.

Angle 1- Consumerism: 3 F's

A. Food- Freethinkers eat and drink like everyone else. A number of them have master a concept called "Eat to live, not live to eat." This principle could be crippling to our fast food industries. Try and use their ideas against them. An example would be to say Dr. Pepper has 23 flavors to entice Discordians. Peppering a food label with words like "natural" and "bio-friendly" will seduce any hippie.

B. Fashion- Any movement has it's uniform, and clothes in general are an unavoidable fact of life. One instance here is charging fifty dollars for a smelly wool hippie hoody. Hot Topic has been our base of operations in this department for a while now, but some branching out needs to be done. Punks and metalheads aren't the only people that wear clothes.

C. Fun- Our primary tactic here has been to bottleneck the public into a mindless cycle. We attempt to hold down anything good or educational. Independant films and music must be kept in the shadows through intense marketing of our brainwash programs. While things like Clerks and NOFX slip out, we've managed to keep the world drowned in romantic comedies and boy bands. Television has been taken over by making the good channels cost far too much for an average person to own. This keeps then tuned into E!.

We hope these ideas will get you started. There will be more to come.
Stay strong.
Stay Gray.

[P3nT4gR4m]

I kinda like this one. How many you planning to do?

[hunter s.durden]

Until the idea gets stale, brother.

[LMNO]

Can the rest of us get in on the act, or is this proprietary?

[hunter s.durden]

Most definatly join in if you like the style.

A recent discussion reminded me of the Screwtape Letters, and I got to thinking that it would work in Discordian context. So I emulated (stole).

The Screwtape Letters was written by C.S. Lewis. It takes the form of letters from Screwtape, a demon, to his nephew. The letters are about how to decieve humanity and bring them further from god. The purpose of the book was to expose sins to Christians that they may not understand as sins. That may sound fucked up, but alot of the message was "being a stuck-up, judgemental, asshole is not a ticket to heaven."
(This little explaination was because I doubt most people here regularly gloss over Xtian Lit.)

[LMNO]

That sounds like the same device in Gurdjieff's "Beelzebub's Tales to his Grandson", which meticulously explains the human race and their silly, fucked-up ways as if described by an alien.  It can get tedious, but it's pretty wild at times.

[Random Probability]

I'm still a Mark Twain fan.  "Letters from the Earth" gets right to the heart of the matter, methinks.