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the toymaker

Started by Payne, March 31, 2007, 07:39:24 AM

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Payne

March 31, 2007, 07:39:24 AM Last Edit: March 31, 2007, 09:26:32 AM by Payne
So. I'm sitting here, as I always do these days, stewing in my own juices (basting if you will). Smoking cigarettes, drinking all the booze in the house, yes even the girly-girl ones. I think a bit, maybe that should be 'regret' a bit, about the last couple years, then the last decade. Hell, I say, why not my whole damn life.

People I've known, and let down, or who let me down. Oppurtunities squandered. T.V. shows I missed.

The last six months in fact, I haven't even DONE anything. Except run away, retreating into an ever tighter corner. At times its easy to make myself believe that I achieved something by fucking up. At times I can even make myself believe that continuing to do nothing about it is a Good Thing.

I owe things to people who can't find me. Money, Goodbyes, Explanations.

Political ideologies, religious mantras, 'common sense'. I used to think I was clever, I used to think I was smart, but I really am no more than a cabbage. No, worse, I'm a toy. A clockwork one wound up by my own hand, to amuse others. To glimpse my reflection in the McBurgerHut window and amuse myself with my antics and tomfoolery. And every day, with my first cigarette, and putting on my glasses, just before I go for a piss, I wind up the spring again.

See him chatter, roll around and stumble!

It says no user servicable parts in raised letters, next to the poorly manufactured tin key on my back. But maybe thats a lie.

So one day, I stumble onto a website, well off my beaten track of boring, inane subjects. I read a funny little book written by a couple stoners. I find it amusing, given that as a semi-ex stoner stoner, I always have a weakness for people who write shit when they're out of their faces. O.K. That was fun.

I follow the trail to a disturbing little forum, well removed from the coiffured, primped little holes I usually find myself in. This place is seriously strange. Bizzarre names and avatars, and scary posts. I read another little book, not so funny, inviting me to a jailbreak.

O.K. the toy has been busted out of its box now. I just need to find a way out of the toy. Suck it up man, cause this is really going to hurt...

The Good Reverend Roger

#1
March 31, 2007, 07:42:21 AM
So far, so :mittens:

TGRR,
Waiting to see where this goes.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Jenne

#2
March 31, 2007, 07:45:42 AM
Welcome to the jungle.

Sounds like the shit is getting interesting...so hope you're wearing a diaper.

:mittens:

Payne

#3
March 31, 2007, 07:46:12 AM
Well, cheers rev. At the moment, it's not gonna go much further just yet, coz this is exactly where I am just now. Will be doing a bit more mining in the archives for a bit longer methinks.

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
March 31, 2007, 07:51:34 AM
Quote from: Payne on March 31, 2007, 07:46:12 AM
Well, cheers rev. At the moment, it's not gonna go much further just yet, coz this is exactly where I am just now. Will be doing a bit more mining in the archives for a bit longer methinks.

Oh, I'm a patient man.

Cicero didn't dump all over Marc Anthony in one day, you know.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Lies

#5
March 31, 2007, 08:32:44 AM
Quote from: Payne on March 31, 2007, 07:39:24 AM
drinking all the booze in the house, yes even the girly-girl ones.

Hey man, Booze is fucking booze, I don't think your any less of a man because of this.
And your story man. Respect. Nothun But.
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

Payne

#6
March 31, 2007, 08:42:53 AM
for my next trick im gonna find out what it was i just did...

Idem

#7
March 31, 2007, 08:45:03 AM
Quote from: Payne on March 31, 2007, 08:42:53 AM
for my next trick im gonna find out what it was i just did...

:lulz:

Lies

#8
March 31, 2007, 09:09:49 AM
Quote from: Payne on March 31, 2007, 08:42:53 AM
for my next trick im gonna find out what it was i just did...

You're were being a genuine, deep, and baring your soul to us in an elegant and ever so slightly poetic way.
Without having to go OMGGODDESS23FNORD5.
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

Triple Zero

#9
March 31, 2007, 09:31:33 AM
Quote from: Payne on March 31, 2007, 08:42:53 AMfor my next trick im gonna find out what it was i just did...

you threw up the girly bits? ;-)

hey man, nice rant! started off a littlebit emo, but not so bad as i could actually sort of identify with it, then the bit about the wind-up toy, good solid imagery and put to good use as well!

finding this book, this forum and the other stuff is not enough btw, i find myself in that wound up place once in a while as well, you gotta do it yourself in the end (but it seems like you understand that already fine)
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

hunter s.durden

#10
March 31, 2007, 09:32:59 AM
Your journey resembles mine.

I'm glad you stumbled here.
This space for rent.

Payne

#11
March 31, 2007, 09:38:44 AM
fanx.

I just read all posts by AKK and decided that i'd rather make 20 decent posts instead of 200 replies to flaming. (lol why respond to the flaming? isn't that the tracking system HIMEOBS use for their howitzers?)

I didn't make it too detailed either, so it;s not so much baring my soul, but what is written is trooo.... whoops! almost made a tabloid newspaper error there!

hunter s.durden

#12
March 31, 2007, 09:58:54 AM
Quote from: Payne on March 31, 2007, 09:38:44 AM
I just read all posts by AKK and decided that i'd rather make 20 decent posts instead of 200 replies to flaming. (lol why respond to the flaming? isn't that the tracking system HIMEOBS use for their howitzers?)

Christ, you are a smart little monkey.
A little too smart...
This space for rent.

Triple Zero

#13
March 31, 2007, 09:59:57 AM
Quote from: Payne on March 31, 2007, 09:38:44 AMwhy respond to the flaming? isn't that the tracking system HIMEOBS use for their howitzers?

shit. this guy knows too much. ALREADY

we don't know anything of this man. send him back
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Payne

#14
March 31, 2007, 10:00:24 AM
 :eek:
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