Rev Roger, Sermon 57: Too much troof.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

HAW HAW FOOLS!

You're all busy playing poker in the club car, and nobody's driving the train!  HEE HEE!  How does that Freedom,Ñ¢ taste, kids?  You better run, you better run, run on home!  AW, YEAH, AMERICA,Ñ¢, ARE YOU READY TO LAUGH TIL YOUR GUTS BLEED?  This ain't the time for anything less!

You feel alien and strange, you say, you feel like you're just watching a movie only there's no Gary Cooper coming to rescue you from the Bush tribe, is that what you say?  Sorry, kiddo, Gary Cooper is dead, yeah he rode off into the big credits in the sky and Joe Dimaggio just doesn't care anymore and Muhammed Ali and Baby Jesus have had it with your shit, you didn't listen then you won't listen now.

Yeah, I can see what's going on...it's kinda hard to miss that the poles are melting and the weather changes every few minutes and there's a new desert every day...that it turns out that you don't have to actually go to a war to get fucked and that reminds me, have you SEEN the deficit recently?  Don't tell your kids about it or they'll beat you when you're old.  Of course it's not like they won't find out anyway, but maybe with some time you can think of a way to make them think it wasn't your fault.  HAR HAR!

Had enough Freedom,Ñ¢ yet?

What?  You want MORE Slack,Ñ¢?

I can hear you wondering what went wrong, you just wanted to see John Wayne and Ronald Reagan draw down on those dirty Ay-rabs after 911, and if we couldn't find the right Ay-rabs well they're all brown, right?  But it turned out that these Ay-rabs didn't read the script and they just won't accept that we declared victory on that aircraft carrier, all those years ago and just why the hell won't they lay down and die?  Don't make us nuke them, the ungrateful bastards, just nuke them all that will show them.  Never mind that we look like a petulant child with a revolver.

Yeah, I can hear you thinking all that and I can feel your pain; but for all your pain and bewilderment I could give a damn.  If you didn't understand in March of 2003 you sure as hell aren't going to listen now, are you?  No, you won't, so just go back to your CNN and your Fox News and your churches or temples or covens and pray to yet another murdered God to come and save you from what you're SURE isn't your fault.

Because it never IS your fault, is it?  Yeah I know, 5 years or 5 minutes from now, when IT happens, and you're trapped in the white hot wreckage of wherever you happened to be when the fun stopped, you'll be blaming the Ay-rabs or the president or the liberals or the conservatives or the corporations or the America-hating hippies.  While you're staggering through the Great Iowa desert praying to find just a few drops of acid-laden water, you'll probably be blaming Union Carbide or Hillary or Rush Limbaugh.  Ho ho!

Well, I will tell you a little secret.  I will tell you this secret, while you shiver in your home like rhesus monkeys, behind your alarms and guns and deadbolted doors and deadbolted hearts...The secret is this:  Armageddon came and went, and the Gods didn't do SHIT, because they know what you know and what you're afraid to admit to yourself...Humans are BETTER at armageddon that the Gods are.  Oh, there's no Mahdjgickqual Hosries or anything like that, just a slow shuffling of morbidly obese lemmings, looking for a cliff.

Did you ever think that would be how it all ends, kiddo?  Didja?  Yeah, it's the end, and the end is boring.  Hee hee!

Or Kill Me.

[LMNO]

Those are some big mittens.

[hunter s.durden]

I'm forming up my platoon...

[theCalmpsychopath]

I'm forming up my platoon...

eight steps ahead of you.

and that rant was 

[Thurnez Isa]

FUCKING AWESOME...

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

[East Coast Hustle]

hells yeah.