Small Mysteries

[BumWurst]

I found three apples in my garden. I didn't put them there. Since I have no apple trees, I assumed for a time that they grew where they lie, and are in fact mutated daisies - sadly, it is not the season for daisies nor apples, so the truth of the matter will probably never be known.
Life is full of small mysteries - how do they get the tea in teabags? What face does Tony Blair make whilst having sex with his horrible wife? I have always imagined that it would be one of horrified resignation, but it could equally be one of naked fear punctuated by a string of stammered apologies, even one of simple disbelief. What colour will he go before he shoots his load? What would she do to him if he was sickened by horror and couldn't perform? These things bother me.
It's fairly obvious even to the casual observer that Cherie is not wholly human, which makes me wonder what she must look like naked. I suppose, without really thinking about it, that her body must consist of flabby overlapping plates, or possibly feathers concealing a string of inhuman orifices. It seems likely to me that she has chicken-feet, and wears rubber human legs as others wear wellies.
I can't imagine that whatever ancient and terrible earth-devil fathered her would allow her to wed as sorry a collection of rectal wipings as Tony Blair without a sound political reason. I suppose the trade might initially have seemed fair to Tony - earthly power bought by right of marraige to ancient line, in exchange for certain guarantees... How bitterly he must now regret his choice, in the autumn of his years, as the madness becomes harder to contain, hated by the electorate, forced to resign and now, humiliatingly, obliged to glue those little pink erasers onto the ends of pencils in order to make ends meet.
If there was a point to this post, it escaped me sometime during the first few lines. I'm going to make more tea.

[Cramulus]

 

chuckling like a ninny at a number of those phrases

I had never actually seen a picture of the woman, and a quick google search revealed:




YE GODS!

THE GOGGLES! THEY DO NOTHING!

[Payne]

Now you will get to see both Tony AND his *ahem* lovely wife on the speaking to rich peoples tours.

Unless an enraged Palestinian shoots Tony.

I know that for the next month or so, at LEAST, I will get to see Cheries god-awful bonce plastered all over TV screens.

[Darth Cupcake]

Moar tea!

Always a good answer.