Bored at work

[BumWurst]

I often wonder what it would be like to skin a celebrity and wear him or her like a coat. Would people confuse you, resplendant in the the newly-cured hide of professional waste-of-space Katie Holmes, for the genuine article? Would a man wearing David Hasselhoff's face and scalp like some kind of perverse Deerstalker be considered kitch, or merely horrific? Could you dress in Tom Cruise's skin and appear at movie premieres? Who would own the "likeness" patent? Since few celebrities have mentionable talent, does wearing their wretched skin constitute "being" a celebrity, since it was only their face which was worthy of note in the first place?

It is often said that beauty is only skin deep, and this would seem an ample opportunity to test the theory - does it only apply if the skin is connected to muscle and subcutaneous fat? Is a middle aged woman wearing Madonna's legs as stockings fashionably attired, or guilty of a crime against humanity?

I maintain that questions like these are worth asking. For your convenience, I have compiled a short list:

What sort of machinery could be used to force President Bush's head up his own arse? Once it was lodged there, how would he shit? Would he have to eat it, and if so, would it just cycle round his system enldlessly, caught in some horrendous coprophiliac loop? How would he give speeches? What are the rammifications of a man's change from lying out of his arse in the metaphorical, to the literal sense? Would he need to comb his hair? His arse hair, not his head hair.

The world is a fascinating place. Let's destroy it.

[Jasper]

I think it would be considered murder plus one, which would get you in death row.

Fascinating place indeed.

[AFK]

Not if you bring them to Maine and then do it.  We don't have the death penalty. 

[tyrannosaurus vex]

if you cross a state line and then murder them, it's a federal offense. and federal prisons are like 4-star hotels, unless you're brown, in which case they'll send you to gitmo.

[Forteetu]

I think it would be considered murder plus one, which would get you in death row.

... but would you be treated as a celebrity in prison?

[The Littlest Ubermensch]

I often wonder what it would be like to skin a celebrity and wear him or her like a coat. Would people confuse you, resplendant in the the newly-cured hide of professional waste-of-space Katie Holmes, for the genuine article? Would a man wearing David Hasselhoff's face and scalp like some kind of perverse Deerstalker be considered kitch, or merely horrific? Could you dress in Tom Cruise's skin and appear at movie premieres? Who would own the "likeness" patent? Since few celebrities have mentionable talent, does wearing their wretched skin constitute "being" a celebrity, since it was only their face which was worthy of note in the first place?

It is often said that beauty is only skin deep, and this would seem an ample opportunity to test the theory - does it only apply if the skin is connected to muscle and subcutaneous fat? Is a middle aged woman wearing Madonna's legs as stockings fashionably attired, or guilty of a crime against humanity?

I maintain that questions like these are worth asking. For your convenience, I have compiled a short list:

What sort of machinery could be used to force President Bush's head up his own arse? Once it was lodged there, how would he shit? Would he have to eat it, and if so, would it just cycle round his system enldlessly, caught in some horrendous coprophiliac loop? How would he give speeches? What are the rammifications of a man's change from lying out of his arse in the metaphorical, to the literal sense? Would he need to comb his hair? His arse hair, not his head hair.

The world is a fascinating place. Let's destroy it.

LOL, U R LIEK SUPR RANDOM!!!!!!!!111 ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111

[hunter s.durden]

I love 50 as much as the next guy, but this...

LOL, U R LIEK SUPR RANDOM!!!!!!!!111 ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111

... was a much needed response.

[AFK]

Aww c'mon.  I kinda like this guy. 

[hunter s.durden]

Then you can ponder the shitty question.
I'll pass.

[AFK]

yeah, but I'm also lazy.  someone else can do it.   

[LMNO]

What was the question?

[hunter s.durden]

I don't know.
Read the OP.

Here's a question... I flipped on ESPN2 to watch Mike and Mike, and the fucking weather channel popped up. WTF?

[AFK]

solar flares.

[hunter s.durden]

You never answered by the way...
You live in West Virginia?

[Rev. St. Syn, KSC (Ret.)]

Pooter