ECH, you jabbering, treacherous pimp. I have people in Maine, people who will haul you up by the back of the pants and shoot you full of angel dust and slam you on the nearest DHS bus with your fingernails painted pink and your mouth covered in blazing red lipstick and your big toes lashed together.
So stop this whoring around and answer your emails. Yeah, I know. Email is the work of the debbil, and does nothing but spew ads for penis enlargers and Nigerian expatriates. I hate the fucking thing, and I am always amazed when anyone actually responds to it. But respond to it you will, lest I have the Antignano brothers pay you a visit. Remember what happened to Talufa? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Viva le revolution, you yammering gasbag.
Yours truly,
COMMANDER RINGMEAT.
ETA: It seems the email bounced. Please disregard the above threats of kidnapping, mayhem, and violations of the Mann Act.