Fuck Forest Gump

[PopeTom]

Fuck Forest Gump

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get."

I lost count of how many dumb fuckers who are unwilling to take control of their own life brought up that quote.

Here's a newsflash asshole, any worthwhile box of chocolates will come with a key.  That way you can tell which ones have the tasty cherry syrup in them and which ones are just cat turds.

Me, I'm allergic to chocolate, so as far as I'm concerned you can take all those boxes and stuff them up your ass.

You know what life is really like?  It's like a pencil, a fucking broken pencil.

Pointless.

Which means if you want to do something worthwhile, feel special, make a difference you need to get up off your cottage cheese like ass and go find a pencil sharpener.   Then once you manage to coordinate your monkey brain and opposable thumb to give your life a point you need to get out there and jab some motherfucker in the eye with it.

I won't lie to you, there will be some blood, that just happens when you stab a fucker in the eye.  But once the screaming has stopped you can then go through his wallet and take his money.  Once you have that fuckers money you need to get your ass to a Staples or some shit office supply shop like it and buy a M-O-T-H-E-R-F-U-C-K-I-N-G pen.

Because you don't need to sharpen a pen, and it is probably a more apt metaphor for what you want you life to really be like.

[guest7654]

I'm allergic to chocolate

no wonder you feel this way.

but srsly, brav-fuckin-o

[Cain]

HELL YEAH!

[That One Guy]

Quality

[LMNO]

Damn, Tom.

I didn't know you had it in you.

[Cramulus]

[AFK]

this deserves the special edition glowy mittens.

But since we don't have those you get a bunch of these:

        
      
     

[hunter s.durden]

I lost count of how many dumb fuckers who are unwilling to take control of their own life brought up that quote.

Great Rant.
This shit deserves the glowing nuclear mittens.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Here's a newsflash asshole, any worthwhile box of chocolates will come with a key.  That way you can tell which ones have the tasty cherry syrup in them and which ones are just cat turds.



Which means if you want to do something worthwhile, feel special, make a difference you need to get up off your cottage cheese like ass and go find a pencil sharpener.   Then once you manage to coordinate your monkey brain and opposable thumb to give your life a point you need to get out there and jab some motherfucker in the eye with it.

of course the whole thing was great but these are my favorite parts

[AFK]

Hey, Popetom, you aren't in the Kopyleft Authors thread in the Propoganda Depository.  Are you Kopyleft and could I add this to the BIP Wiki site?  Because, I'd really, really like to. 

[LMNO]

Tom, specifically, RWHN is referring to this: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=11808.0

[PopeTom]

Hey, Popetom, you aren't in the Kopyleft Authors thread in the Propoganda Depository.  Are you Kopyleft and could I add this to the BIP Wiki site?  Because, I'd really, really like to. 

Here ya go, feel free to use it.

My works may be used freely the only stipulation is if you decide to use the Discordian Pirate emblem (my icon) you must take the time to remind people why pirates are so much better then ninja.

[AFK]

Hey, Popetom, you aren't in the Kopyleft Authors thread in the Propoganda Depository.  Are you Kopyleft and could I add this to the BIP Wiki site?  Because, I'd really, really like to. 

Here ya go, feel free to use it.

My works may be used freely the only stipulation is if you decide to use the Discordian Pirate emblem (my icon) you must take the time to remind people why pirates are so much better then ninja.

cool.  thanks.