Dear Mr ECH/30 cent solution

[LMNO]

CS:

Buy, study, and replicate all of Julia 1 and 2*.

That should get you well on your way.













* Mastering the Art of French Cooking (1961), with Simone Beck and Louisette Bertholle — ISBN 0-375-41340-5
Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Volume Two (1970), with Simone Beck — ISBN 0-394-40152-2

[Suu]

umm...

no.

there are 2 paths:

1) go to culinary school, learn useless shit like how to make ice sculpture, get yourself horribly in debt, and be instilled with the (patently false) idea that food is art and chefs are artists. This will make you a useless poser who will go through a series of "externships" (read: terms of indentured servitude where you are worked to death with little or no payment in return for something to put on your resume that no one will read). Eventually you will get burnt out by being everybody's unpaid bitch and you will get a job being a corporate shitheel at TGIF or Olive Garden selling boil-in-a-bag food to suburban yahoos for 35K a year and half-price meals.

2) go get a job as a dish-bitch or a busser or a prep cook at a decent but unpretentious local restaurant. show up on time every day, observe what the people around you are doing, work hard, and be the one they turn to when a garde-manger or a fry cook doesn't show up for work after a weekend bender. keep your mouth shut and learn basic shit like knifework, temping cuts of meat, timing sauces and broiler plates, etc. and if you're smart and work hard, you should be able to find a decent sous-chef or lead line position in 2 or 3 years' time. If you still enjoy the work by then, you'll be in position to learn directly from the head chef how to run the day-to-day business of a restaurant.

Door #2 is the correct culinary motorcycle. It's how my brother, the ADHD high school dropout who was told he had no future by his teachers is now making more money than my 50 year old father at the tender age of 22. He would often get into arguments with Johnson and Wales graduates that would result in him getting fired and rehired once the JWU fucks left about 3 times at the same restaurant in Narragansett before shipping off back to St. Petersburg. He now works as the assistant kitchen manager and menu specialist at the Derby Club's white-tablecloth at Derby Lane.

The only thing is that it's made him a condescending little fuck with a massive ego. I want him to have a Throwdown with Bobby Flay...especially since he HATES Bobby Flay.

[Richter]

Get that shit onto Food Network NAOW!

[Suu]

I watched a special on Flay last week over at the mom-in-law's. I'm way too tempted to write him a letter and be like, "Look, my brother has a massive ego, please to deflate. Kthx."

[hunter s.durden]

Yet another option: never attempt to "cook" (by cook I mean flavor, obviously it's advisable to physically cook raw meat).

Don't be a slave to your tongue.

Hunter- eats blocks of straight tofu.

[AFK]

I went for the "Marry a Hot Woman Who Can Also Cook in the Kitchen" option.

[Suu]

I went for the "Marry a Hot Woman Who Can Also Cook in the Kitchen" option.

Change woman to man and ditto.


-Suu
The best damn grilled cheese slinger in the East.

[AFK]

I went for the "Marry a Hot Woman Who Can Also Cook in the Kitchen" option.

Change woman to man and ditto.


-Suu
The best damn grilled cheese slinger in the East.

Well now, I do make a mean grilled cheese, perhaps Mr. Suu and I need to have a Grilled Cheese Throwdown.   

[Suu]

I went for the "Marry a Hot Woman Who Can Also Cook in the Kitchen" option.

Change woman to man and ditto.


-Suu
The best damn grilled cheese slinger in the East.

Well now, I do make a mean grilled cheese, perhaps Mr. Suu and I need to have a Grilled Cheese Throwdown.   

No that's me. He's the man of Pork Shoulder and all that is Puerto Rican and artery clogging.

And I will destroy you. Please. 

[Captain Jack Harkness]

Yeah I am going to open up a shop that sells all pork shoulder in the many ways to cook it.

[Suu]

The shop will obviously have black windows and card you on the way in with a big sign on the outside that says, "ADULTS ONLY". Obviously.

[Captain Jack Harkness]

 

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

CS:

Buy, study, and replicate all of Julia 1 and 2*.

That should get you well on your way.













* Mastering the Art of French Cooking (1961), with Simone Beck and Louisette Bertholle — ISBN 0-375-41340-5
Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Volume Two (1970), with Simone Beck — ISBN 0-394-40152-2

saw most of her shows when i was a kid.
watched a lot of frugal gourmet and yan can cook as well.
in fact... i mostly watched cooking shows when i was a kid.
and now i still do as an adult.
I LIEK FOOD!!


and 
at the rest of the thread, mostly

The shop will obviously have black windows and card you on the way in with a big sign on the outside that says, "ADULTS ONLY". Obviously.

[Thurnez Isa]

Yeah I am going to open up a shop that sells all pork shoulder in the manly ways to cook it.

quickly glancing over this thread
thats how i read it

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

that's how it was supposed to read.
the other way was a typo