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A Parable for Modern Times

Started by zero_day, May 10, 2008, 06:07:40 AM

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zero_day

May 10, 2008, 06:07:40 AM
At my college radio station, I would do my show. And for those two hours,I would stare longingly  at the perfectly round white pill sitting upon our stack of compact discs. Every moment I wondered what fantastical things may be presented to me through the consumption of this perfect pill. For weeks I dreamed about the pill and what wonders it may bring. The desire burned within me for what felt like ages until I finally brought the subject up with my band mate, close friend, and station manager. I said unto him,

"Sam, that pill on top of the Hot Stack...I really want to swallow it."

He considered my statement and turned to walk away. As he turned his back, he simply said,

"That's a breath mint. Duffey threw it there like 4 months ago."

And he was gone.

Hearing this, I was enlightened.
IliketolieinthegrassandwatchtheantsandwishIwereoneofthemintheirundergoundmazesosafefromthedarknessofpeoplehorriblepeople
Iwillkillthemallkilltheantskillthepeoplekilleverything

The Good Reverend Roger

#1
May 10, 2008, 06:43:34 PM
 :joshua:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Reginald Ret

#2
May 11, 2008, 05:24:07 PM
i dont get it
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

e

#3
May 12, 2008, 06:43:09 PM
The moral of the story is: 

Don't see drugs where there aren't drugs.

OR

Stop hanging out at radio stations so much.  It's bad for your mental well-being.

Reverend Ju Ju Booze

#4
May 12, 2008, 07:28:31 PM
"THEY" are fooling you!Swallow it,quick!!!
Capitalism.
When it uses the carrot is called democracy,
When it uses the stick is called fascism.

zero_day

#5
May 14, 2008, 05:52:25 AM
As a follow up, I did in fact swallow it.

The only wonder it brought was the taste of a stale, 4 month old breath mint.
IliketolieinthegrassandwatchtheantsandwishIwereoneofthemintheirundergoundmazesosafefromthedarknessofpeoplehorriblepeople
Iwillkillthemallkilltheantskillthepeoplekilleverything

Adios

#6
May 14, 2008, 05:11:44 PM
ook.

Dr. Pataphoros, SpD

#7
May 14, 2008, 06:31:59 PM
[pataphor]
Nancy was walking through the garden one day enjoying the bright sun and cool breeze.  She happened upon a pill bug that was making its way accross the sidewalk.  She watched it for a while as it trundled along in its buggy way until a crow landed nearby, equally interested in the bug.

"What do you suppose will happen if I eat the bug?" Nancy wondered aloud.

The crow pondered this for a moment.  Without a word, it hopped forward and swallowed the bug and then flew away.

Nancy shruged and continued on her merry way.  A few hours later she spied that same crow spiraling overhead. 

She heard the crow cry out "It gives you gas!" before it flew off beyond the horizon.

Hearing this, Nancy no longer wondered.
[/pataphor]
-Padre Pataphoros, Bearer of Nine Names, Custodian of the Gate to the Forward Four, The Man Called Nobody, Philosopher of the Eleventeenth Sphere, The Noisy Ninja, Guardian of the Silver Hammer, Patron of the Perpetual Plan B, The Lord High Slacker, [The Secret Name of Power]

Lies

#8
May 14, 2008, 06:47:39 PM
Quote from: Padre Pataphoros on May 14, 2008, 06:31:59 PM
[pataphor]
Nancy was walking through the garden one day enjoying the bright sun and cool breeze.  She happened upon a pill bug that was making its way accross the sidewalk.  She watched it for a while as it trundled along in its buggy way until a crow landed nearby, equally interested in the bug.

"What do you suppose will happen if I eat the bug?" Nancy wondered aloud.

The crow pondered this for a moment.  Without a word, it hopped forward and swallowed the bug and then flew away.

Nancy shruged and continued on her merry way.  A few hours later she spied that same crow spiraling overhead. 

She heard the crow cry out "It gives you gas!" before it flew off beyond the horizon.

Hearing this, Nancy no longer wondered.
[/pataphor]

zomg you can do pataphores!
Awesome!
I have a feeling I'm going to like you around here.
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

e

#9
May 14, 2008, 06:57:18 PM
Nancy was walking through the garden one day when she spotted a pill on the floor.  The pill was white, like a glacier submerged in the north sea.  The shipmen fell overboard in a violent collision and froze almost instantly, leaving few survivors.  After several months the government sent an expedition to search for survivors, but none were found.

That is a 'pataphor.

Dr. Pataphoros, SpD

#10
May 14, 2008, 07:21:55 PM
Quote from: TheStripèdOne on May 14, 2008, 06:57:18 PM
Nancy was walking through the garden one day when she spotted a pill on the floor.  The pill was white, like a glacier submerged in the north sea.  The shipmen fell overboard in a violent collision and froze almost instantly, leaving few survivors.  After several months the government sent an expedition to search for survivors, but none were found.

That is a 'pataphor.

A pataphor is any use of a metaphor in a literal sense removed of its original context.  So, they're both pataphors.  I kept mine marginally similar to the original as far as structure and length is concerned just as a matter of composition. 

Incidentally, pataphor doesn't get the same apostrophe treatment as 'pataphysiscs, if I recall correctly.
-Padre Pataphoros, Bearer of Nine Names, Custodian of the Gate to the Forward Four, The Man Called Nobody, Philosopher of the Eleventeenth Sphere, The Noisy Ninja, Guardian of the Silver Hammer, Patron of the Perpetual Plan B, The Lord High Slacker, [The Secret Name of Power]

e

#11
May 14, 2008, 07:50:44 PM
You may very well be correct. 

And I think I misunderstood that your pataphor was from the original story.  Mine was a pataphor on your pataphor :(  My mistake.  I apologise.

Dr. Pataphoros, SpD

#12
May 14, 2008, 08:01:55 PM
Quote from: TheStripèdOne on May 14, 2008, 07:50:44 PM
You may very well be correct. 

And I think I misunderstood that your pataphor was from the original story.  Mine was a pataphor on your pataphor :(  My mistake.  I apologise.

No apologies necessary.
-Padre Pataphoros, Bearer of Nine Names, Custodian of the Gate to the Forward Four, The Man Called Nobody, Philosopher of the Eleventeenth Sphere, The Noisy Ninja, Guardian of the Silver Hammer, Patron of the Perpetual Plan B, The Lord High Slacker, [The Secret Name of Power]

e

#13
May 14, 2008, 08:21:50 PM
Quote from: Padre Pataphoros on May 14, 2008, 08:01:55 PM
Quote from: TheStripèdOne on May 14, 2008, 07:50:44 PM
You may very well be correct. 

And I think I misunderstood that your pataphor was from the original story.  Mine was a pataphor on your pataphor :(  My mistake.  I apologise.

No apologies necessary.

Apology denial unacceptable!

Dr. Pataphoros, SpD

#14
May 14, 2008, 08:26:46 PM
Quote from: TheStripèdOne on May 14, 2008, 08:21:50 PM
Quote from: Padre Pataphoros on May 14, 2008, 08:01:55 PM

No apologies necessary.

Apology denial unacceptable!

Acceptance of apology denial is MANDATORY!
-Padre Pataphoros, Bearer of Nine Names, Custodian of the Gate to the Forward Four, The Man Called Nobody, Philosopher of the Eleventeenth Sphere, The Noisy Ninja, Guardian of the Silver Hammer, Patron of the Perpetual Plan B, The Lord High Slacker, [The Secret Name of Power]
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