Author Topic: Shortest Definition  (Read 57086 times)

Iason Ouabache

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Shortest Definition
« on: June 26, 2008, 02:16:30 am »
I really really really hate it when people ask me what religion I am.  Mostly because Discordianism is such an obscure religion that not many people know about. But the main problem I have is that it is almost impossible to describe to someone in just a couple of sentences.  It usually takes about 5 minutes of explaining and/or throwing a copy of the PD at their head. 

So here is the challenge I presenting to all of you:  What is the shortest explanation of Discordianism that you can give?  I'm not asking what Discordianism means to you. We've got plenty of other threads about that.  I want a short universal definition that I can spit out and get people off of my back.

Ok, ready?  Go!
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Payne

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Re: Shortest Definition
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2008, 02:23:00 am »
"Take an ancient Greek deity, interpret her through some hippies, claim that doing this yields the only true answer because it doesn't actually answer anything. And that's Discordianism. If you want to know more, stick around. If you think I'm a psychopath, it probably isn't for you...."

Usually works for me.

Cramulus

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Re: Shortest Definition
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2008, 02:35:17 am »
      It's not so much a religion
      as it is a dodgeball cannon.
                /

nostalgicBadger

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Re: Shortest Definition
« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2008, 03:20:35 am »
Here's what I do:
Very plainly, "I worship the goddess of chaos and strife."

Then the conversation proceeds in one of two ways:

[ They ask for some further explanation ]
To which I respond: "What?" and if they persist, act as if I have no idea what they're talking about.

Or, they ask, "What?" in which case I respond "Exactly."

I cannot honestly think of a more accurate way to get the point across.
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Shortest Definition
« Reply #4 on: June 26, 2008, 03:23:42 am »
Here's what I do:
Very plainly, "I worship the goddess of chaos and strife."


I tell them our religion is dedicated to destroying America and everything else they hold dear.
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Dr. Paes

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Re: Shortest Definition
« Reply #5 on: June 26, 2008, 03:30:11 am »
Depending on whether I think the person will understand, my answer varies.

Usually I answer with "I'm a Discordian"
They say "What's a Discordian?"
I shrug and say "That's a good question."

Or if I have faith in the intelligence of the ape in question I may explain it further.

Iason Ouabache

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Re: Shortest Definition
« Reply #6 on: June 26, 2008, 05:41:53 am »
Definition that I was thinking of using: 

1) Militant subjectivism
2) worshiping the fractal nature of the universe

Both they both sounds so goddamn pretentious.
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BADGE OF HONOR

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Re: Shortest Definition
« Reply #7 on: June 26, 2008, 07:01:23 am »
Silly postmodernism.
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Re: Shortest Definition
« Reply #8 on: June 26, 2008, 07:07:50 am »
The one time I explained Discordianism, I started with the hot dogs without a bun on Friday thing.  When he asked if Discordian's actually do that, I said 'no, why would we?'

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nostalgicBadger

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Re: Shortest Definition
« Reply #9 on: June 26, 2008, 07:11:09 am »
Hm.. that's interesting.
I always read "shall partake of No Hotdog Buns" as different from "hot dogs without buns". In my mind, no hotdog buns was always a single concept, not an absence of hotdog buns. Hence the caps.

Of course this discussion would bore everyone here to death, so I shall proceed no further.
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Re: Shortest Definition
« Reply #10 on: June 26, 2008, 11:31:22 am »
Conversation is usually short and to the point

Q) Silly, what religion are you?

SC) Are you taking the fucking piss or what?

seems to cover those kinds of questions thoroughly enough, especially when accompanied by my pat. pending "one more remark like that and I'll rip off your left leg and fuck the stump" - look.

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Re: Shortest Definition
« Reply #11 on: June 26, 2008, 01:49:56 pm »
Im too embarrassed by all the hippism to tell people about discordism
Through me the way to the city of woe, Through me the way to everlasting pain, Through me the way among the lost.
Justice moved my maker on high.
Divine power made me, Wisdom supreme, and Primal love.
Before me nothing was but things eternal, and eternal I endure.
Abandon all hope, you who enter here.

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Re: Shortest Definition
« Reply #12 on: June 26, 2008, 01:57:33 pm »
When people ask my religion I ask when was the last time they jacked off or took a dump. Its none of their damn business.  If I want to tell someone, for recruitment/propaganda purposes, then that is something different...but nosy people should fuck off.

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Re: Shortest Definition
« Reply #13 on: June 26, 2008, 02:25:23 pm »
When people ask my religion I ask when was the last time they jacked off or took a dump. Its none of their damn business.  If I want to tell someone, for recruitment/propaganda purposes, then that is something different...but nosy people should fuck off.

:mittens:

I tend to be the same.  When they ask, I ask Why?

It usually goes with....  "I was just wondering/curious/making conversations"

Then I again ask.... "why"

That one response avoids a lot of issues.  I live and work in the midwest catholic central recruitment city, a church on every corner and a fish fry every friday in lent. 

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Re: Shortest Definition
« Reply #14 on: June 26, 2008, 02:37:44 pm »
I really really really hate it when people ask me what religion I am.  Mostly because Discordianism is such an obscure religion that not many people know about. But the main problem I have is that it is almost impossible to describe to someone in just a couple of sentences.  It usually takes about 5 minutes of explaining and/or throwing a copy of the PD at their head. 

So here is the challenge I presenting to all of you:  What is the shortest explanation of Discordianism that you can give?  I'm not asking what Discordianism means to you. We've got plenty of other threads about that.  I want a short universal definition that I can spit out and get people off of my back.

Ok, ready?  Go!

"You really don't want to know."



But if I had to be pressed, I'd say, "We tend to believe that the universe is unpredictable, and Order and Disorder are self-imposed constructs.  We also tend to believe in Thinking for Yourself, and finding revelation through argument."
« Last Edit: June 26, 2008, 02:42:26 pm by LMNO »