ATTN: everyone who eats in restaurants

[hooplala]

That's one of my favourite scenes.  "Call the police... this'll be a hoot!"

[Dido]

Get the fucking sauce.

or don't get the fucking sauce.

I don't care.

but I will pull your eyeball out with a pair of tongs, batter it, deep fry it, and serve it with horseradish sauce the next time you order your fucking sauce on the fucking side.

enjoy your meal.

Beats the fairy stag grilled in the fat of infernal boars who hound the enemies of the Raven King (or whatever,  strange & mr. norrel by susanna clarke)

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Hey ECH, can I have my sauce on the side please?
I'd like to shmear it all over my chest and face.
kthx.

[LMNO]

ECH has a very special sauce for that kind of thing.

With a convenient delivery system, as well.

[East Coast Hustle]

Hey ECH, can I have my sauce on the side please?
I'd like to shmear it all over my chest and face.
kthx.

that's fine, just order extra sauce to go.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

it's funnier to do in front of the waiter with that dead look in your eye

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I almost never order anything on the side. I'm not especially picky. However, IMO people are completely reasonable to want their food in whatever configuration they fucking want, as long as it's not some sort of major inconvenience for the staff.

People's tastes vary. Perhaps Joe HATES your fucking sauce but Joe's date loves it. I have a friend who asks for the tomatoes on the side, because I want them. Maybe Joe wants to dip his fucking fries in it. Why the hell do you care? He's paying your snooty ass to cook him some food that he likes, are you seriously all butthurt because he has his own tastes when it comes to how he'd like it served?

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

skip the plate.

i'd like my dinner on my lap please.

hot steaming crotch food!!!








wait......





EEW!

[Nast]

I usually don't like to ask special requests on menu items because I feel like I'm being a bother, and that the chef will drag me back to the kitchen and shove my face into the deep fryer.

But I will order moar sauce, because I'm that kind of gal. 

[BADGE OF HONOR]

I usually order my salad dressing on the side, because people always put too much on, then never use it at all. 

RBOG,
doesn't like goopy leafs

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yeah, what is up with the sheer massive load of salad dressing most places serve? I can barely even taste the veggies with that much shit on them. Always on the side.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, it is a massive irritant to me when people assume I'm getting the dressing on the side because I'm a girl and therefore dieting, and then make some retarded sarcastic comment like "Oh, yeah, that's gonna offset the burger with cheese and bacon!"

JUST FUCK OFF! Retards.

[Jenne]

Naw, just smile sweetly and say, "Yes, especially since I'm ordering A SIDE OF BACON RANCH to go with my FRENCH FRIES!"

People are definitely retarded.

[Dysnomia]

I'm too lazy to build my food when I eat it so it's rare I'll order something "on the side".  Plus I like salad dressing and IMO building and tossing my own food is not worth the 10 calories I'll be saving because I eat a tiny bit less dressing.

[Cainad (dec.)]

I'm too lazy to build my food when I eat it so it's rare I'll order something "on the side".  Plus I like salad dressing and IMO building and tossing my own food is not worth the 10 calories I'll be saving because I eat a tiny bit less dressing.

So you'll just let the establishment put however much dressing they damn well please on your salad, and you'll eat it without the slightest bit of protest?

Why do you hate freedom?!