Author Topic: Advice Puppy thread  (Read 75747 times)

Cain

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Re: Advice Puppy thread
« Reply #90 on: July 24, 2008, 04:03:42 pm »
Dear Advice Puppy,

I hate myself and I want to die.  Any advice?



GAD DAMNIT I'M AT WORK NOW

AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, ADVICE PUPPY


WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?


Cramulus

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Re: Advice Puppy thread
« Reply #91 on: July 26, 2008, 11:12:32 pm »
Keep slapping yourselves, I haven't told you to finish yet.


Dear Advice Puppy,

When can I stop?

Thurnez Isa

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Re: Advice Puppy thread
« Reply #92 on: July 26, 2008, 11:21:00 pm »
Dear Puppy of Wisdom

what should we do with Loveshade?
Through me the way to the city of woe, Through me the way to everlasting pain, Through me the way among the lost.
Justice moved my maker on high.
Divine power made me, Wisdom supreme, and Primal love.
Before me nothing was but things eternal, and eternal I endure.
Abandon all hope, you who enter here.

Dante

ͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅ ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

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Re: Advice Puppy thread
« Reply #93 on: July 27, 2008, 02:27:20 am »
Dear Advice Puppy,

My friend almost put me in the hospital the other night but nothing happened besides a bunch of insults and glaring. He's in his late 30's, did time in a federal prison, is around 250 lbs and 6'6". I'm about 150 lbs, 6'1" and haven't practiced martial arts in years, so he could have crushed me like an ant. I heard he feels embarrassed about menacing me (especially since he was the only one making any sort of threats and getting in my face and shit) and would still like to be my friend. He hasn't contacted me though, it's all second hand but reliable information.

How should I proceed?
P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

Cain

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Re: Advice Puppy thread
« Reply #94 on: July 27, 2008, 12:24:50 pm »
Keep slapping yourselves, I haven't told you to finish yet.


Dear Advice Puppy,

When can I stop?


Cain

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Re: Advice Puppy thread
« Reply #95 on: July 27, 2008, 12:27:37 pm »
Dear Puppy of Wisdom

what should we do with Loveshade?


Cain

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Re: Advice Puppy thread
« Reply #96 on: July 27, 2008, 12:29:33 pm »
Dear Advice Puppy,

My friend almost put me in the hospital the other night but nothing happened besides a bunch of insults and glaring. He's in his late 30's, did time in a federal prison, is around 250 lbs and 6'6". I'm about 150 lbs, 6'1" and haven't practiced martial arts in years, so he could have crushed me like an ant. I heard he feels embarrassed about menacing me (especially since he was the only one making any sort of threats and getting in my face and shit) and would still like to be my friend. He hasn't contacted me though, it's all second hand but reliable information.

How should I proceed?


Shibboleet The Annihilator

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Re: Advice Puppy thread
« Reply #97 on: July 28, 2008, 12:11:47 am »
Dear advice puppy,

There is this ridiculously hot girl who I am pretty sure likes me but I told her I was off the market and she told me she was too but she's been giving me fuck-me-eyes for months and keeps complimenting me on my looks. What should I do?

Sincerely,
-A guy who asks internet puppies for advice and writes run-on sentences

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Re: Advice Puppy thread
« Reply #98 on: July 28, 2008, 12:13:03 am »
Just fuck her already.
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

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Re: Advice Puppy thread
« Reply #99 on: July 28, 2008, 12:16:29 am »
You are not a puppy and you certainly aren't advice puppy.

BADGE OF HONOR

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Re: Advice Puppy thread
« Reply #100 on: July 28, 2008, 12:17:23 am »
So, advice puppy is the only one allowed to give out bad advice around here?
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

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Re: Advice Puppy thread
« Reply #101 on: July 28, 2008, 12:19:10 am »
I suppose not, maybe you should try pasting your face wearing a whimsical expression on a colorful background and answering people in bold caps-locked messages.

Cain

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Re: Advice Puppy thread
« Reply #102 on: July 28, 2008, 12:23:06 am »
Dear advice puppy,

There is this ridiculously hot girl who I am pretty sure likes me but I told her I was off the market and she told me she was too but she's been giving me fuck-me-eyes for months and keeps complimenting me on my looks. What should I do?

Sincerely,
-A guy who asks internet puppies for advice and writes run-on sentences


BADGE OF HONOR

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Re: Advice Puppy thread
« Reply #103 on: July 28, 2008, 12:24:18 am »
I suppose not, maybe you should try pasting your face wearing a whimsical expression on a colorful background and answering people in bold caps-locked messages.

Too much effort.
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

Cain

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Re: Advice Puppy thread
« Reply #104 on: July 28, 2008, 12:25:32 am »