Tardive Dyskinesia lyric help needed

[LMNO]

I've come up with another track for Tardive Dyskinesia, which is my "Let's Mock the Goths" side project (the last tune was "Too Many Goddamn Vampires").

Anyway, I'm thinking the name of the track is "I'm So Goth I Shit Bats"; the general sound of the track rips off KMFDM and Skinny Puppy.

So, if anyone has any lyrics that more or less makes fun of goths, bring 'em on.

Eventually, when the Tardive project is done, I hope to get the tracks in heavy rotation at the monthly Goth/Industrial night here.  Could be lulzy.

[LMNO]

Anyway, I came up with the first 2 verses.  First draft, anyway:

Hidin' out in my mother's basement
Pickin' lint off my velvet clothes
Smearin' eyeliner like it was facepaint
My cigarettes all taste of cloves

I'm so goth I shit bats

Friday night at the fetish club
My dad probably thinks I'm gay
Cherry Kool Aid looks like blood
It's not the same as 'back in the day'

I'm so goth I shit bats






Looking for another verse or two.  Ideas?

[Mangrove]

Anyway, I came up with the first 2 verses.  First draft, anyway:

Hidin' out in my mother's basement
Pickin' lint off my velvet clothes
Smearin' eyeliner like it was facepaint
My cigarettes all taste of cloves

I'm so goth I shit bats

Friday night at the fetish club
My dad probably thinks I'm gay
Cherry Kool Aid looks like blood
It's not the same as 'back in the day'

I'm so goth I shit bats






Looking for another verse or two.  Ideas?

Amphetamines. A friend of mine was big into the goth scene in the early 90s (Manchester and London). The running joke of the day was in the style of a 'how goth are you?' quiz. Went something like:

Did you have amphetamines....

a) Before breakfast?
b) After breakfast?
c) For breakfast?

Of course, I realize that the UK goths I knew were of a different time and place to the Hot Topic spags of today. They probably think they're being hardcore when they have 2 cans of Redbull.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Anyway, I came up with the first 2 verses.  First draft, anyway:

Hidin' out in my mother's basement
Pickin' lint off my velvet clothes
Smearin' eyeliner like it was facepaint
My cigarettes all taste of cloves

I'm so goth I shit bats

Friday night at the fetish club
My dad probably thinks I'm gay
Cherry Kool Aid looks like blood
It's not the same as 'back in the day'

I'm so goth I shit bats






Looking for another verse or two.  Ideas?

Amphetamines. A friend of mine was big into the goth scene in the early 90s (Manchester and London). The running joke of the day was in the style of a 'how goth are you?' quiz. Went something like:

Did you have amphetamines....

a) Before breakfast?
b) After breakfast?
c) For breakfast?

Of course, I realize that the UK goths I knew were of a different time and place to the Hot Topic spags of today. They probably think they're being hardcore when they have 2 cans of Redbull.

:coffeemonitor:

[LMNO]

Red Bull and Hot Topic.

Just the things I was looking for!

[Cain]

You should consider doing a cover of Emo Kid by Adam and Andrew.

Dear Diary

Mood: Apathetic

My life is spiraling downward
I couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert
It sucks cause they play some of my favorite songs like "Stab My Heart Because I Love You" and "Rip Apart My Soul" and of course "Stabby Rip Stab Stab" And It doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing either...Like that guy from that band can do...Some days, ya know...

I'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be.
You'd be non-conforming too if you looked just like me
I have paint on my nails and makeup on my face
I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs
Cause I feel real deep when I'm dressing in drag
I call it freedom of expression, most just call me a fag
'Cause our dudes look like chicks, and our chicks look like dykes
Cause emo is one step below transvestite

Stop my breathing and slit my throat
I must be emo

I don't jump around when I go to shows
I must be emo

I'm dark and sensitive with low self esteem
The way I dress makes everyday feel like Halloween
I have no real problems but I like to make believe
I stole my sister's mascara now I'm grounded for a week
Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies
I can't get through a hawthorne heights album without sobbing
Girls keep breaking up with me, it's never any fun
They say they already have a pussy, they don't need another one.

Stop my breathing and slit my throat
I must be emo

I don't jump around when I go to shows
I must be emo

Dye in my hair and polish on my toes
I must be emo

I play guitar and write suicide notes
I must be emo

my life is just a black abyss... ya know..it's so dark. And it's suffocating me, grabbing a hold of me and tightening its grip, tighter than a pair of my little sisters jeans...which look great on me by the way.

When I get depressed I cut my wrist in every direction
Hearing songs about getting dumped gives me an erection
I write in a live journal and wear thick rimmed glasses
I tell my friends I bleed black and cry during classes
I'm just a bad, cheap imitation of goth
You can read me "Catcher in the Rye" and watch me jack off
I wear skin tight clothes while hating my life
If I said I like girls, I'd only be half right.

I look like I'm dead and dress like a homo
I must be emo

Screw Xbox I play old school Nintendo
I must be emo

I like to whine and hit my parentals
I must be emo

Me and my friends all look like clones
I must be emo

My parents don't get me ya know
They think I'm gay just because they saw me kiss a guy... Well, a couple guys. But, I mean it's the 2000's. Can't 2...or 4 dudes make out with each other without being gay?
I mean, chicks dig that kind of thing anyways.
I don't know diary, sometimes I think you are the only one that gets me. You're my best friend.



I feel like tacos

Of course, these lyrics can also be easily tweaked.

[Mangrove]

You should consider doing a cover of Emo Kid by Adam and Andrew.

Dear Diary

Mood: Apathetic

My life is spiraling downward
I couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert
It sucks cause they play some of my favorite songs like "Stab My Heart Because I Love You" and "Rip Apart My Soul" and of course "Stabby Rip Stab Stab" And It doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing either...Like that guy from that band can do...Some days, ya know...

I'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be.
You'd be non-conforming too if you looked just like me
I have paint on my nails and makeup on my face
I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs
Cause I feel real deep when I'm dressing in drag
I call it freedom of expression, most just call me a fag
'Cause our dudes look like chicks, and our chicks look like dykes
Cause emo is one step below transvestite

Stop my breathing and slit my throat
I must be emo

I don't jump around when I go to shows
I must be emo

I'm dark and sensitive with low self esteem
The way I dress makes everyday feel like Halloween
I have no real problems but I like to make believe
I stole my sister's mascara now I'm grounded for a week
Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies
I can't get through a hawthorne heights album without sobbing
Girls keep breaking up with me, it's never any fun
They say they already have a pussy, they don't need another one.

Stop my breathing and slit my throat
I must be emo

I don't jump around when I go to shows
I must be emo

Dye in my hair and polish on my toes
I must be emo

I play guitar and write suicide notes
I must be emo

my life is just a black abyss... ya know..it's so dark. And it's suffocating me, grabbing a hold of me and tightening its grip, tighter than a pair of my little sisters jeans...which look great on me by the way.

When I get depressed I cut my wrist in every direction
Hearing songs about getting dumped gives me an erection
I write in a live journal and wear thick rimmed glasses
I tell my friends I bleed black and cry during classes
I'm just a bad, cheap imitation of goth
You can read me "Catcher in the Rye" and watch me jack off
I wear skin tight clothes while hating my life
If I said I like girls, I'd only be half right.

I look like I'm dead and dress like a homo
I must be emo

Screw Xbox I play old school Nintendo
I must be emo

I like to whine and hit my parentals
I must be emo

Me and my friends all look like clones
I must be emo

My parents don't get me ya know
They think I'm gay just because they saw me kiss a guy... Well, a couple guys. But, I mean it's the 2000's. Can't 2...or 4 dudes make out with each other without being gay?
I mean, chicks dig that kind of thing anyways.
I don't know diary, sometimes I think you are the only one that gets me. You're my best friend.



I feel like tacos

Of course, these lyrics can also be easily tweaked.

Bolded for Mangrovian lulz

[Voodoo]

Anyway, I came up with the first 2 verses.  First draft, anyway:

Hidin' out in my mother's basement
Pickin' lint off my velvet clothes
Smearin' eyeliner like it was facepaint
My cigarettes all taste of cloves

I'm so goth I shit bats

Friday night at the fetish club
My dad probably thinks I'm gay
Cherry Kool Aid looks like blood
It's not the same as 'back in the day'

I'm so goth I shit bats






Looking for another verse or two.  Ideas?

I dress like this to get attention
because I'm lonely and afraid
I pretend to be dark and evil
but I'm just trying to get laid

[LMNO]

That's pretty good, voodoo.


And Cain, that sounds like something NOFX should be playing.

[Cramulus]

Tardive Dyskinesia reminds me of the Ugly Old Woman cabal. Represent!


(that was when a bunch of people used these avatars)

[BADGE OF HONOR]

Just bringing this to your attention in case you haven't heard it before.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Just bringing this to your attention in case you haven't heard it before.

that was delightful.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Help yourself...

Talcum foundation and lips by sharpie
My earing shaped like a snake
I try my best to look mean and scary
but I'm as skinny as a rake

Come out at night where the sun can't get me
parade my heroin chic
In the clubs where the chicks look just like me
and all the decor's ultra bleak

The mating rituals a study in indifference
too cool to look like I care
I sip a cocktail from a fancy flute glass
and flash a look that says 'beware'

I'm spouting Nietzsche from the cover of an album
my friends all think I'm really deep
Dispassionately musing over how I'm going to kill myself
and how I never have to sleep

[LMNO]

Damn.

These are good.  This track might be longer than I expected.

Incidentally, I'm thinking of writing a Ministry ripoff that simply lists the items for sale at Hot Topic, in a manner similar to Negativland's "Car Bomb".

[LMNO]

I had another bout of lyrical mockery.

This is inspired by TGRR... Or maybe it was Badger.  I can't remember.

This is to a song that sounds like a bad NIN ballad (think "This Twilight" off Year Zero).




The man on the television says the whole world's against me.
I try to lend a hand, but the loneliness prevents me.

I see darkness all around
And there's no help to be found
You ship of lies has run aground
The whole world's against me.

You know life just isn't fair
The whole world's against me.

And my parents just don't care
The whole world's against me.

So I cry cuz milk is spilled
And my Paladin elf was killed
Just before he joined a guild
The whole world's against me.

I use dial-up to get online
The whole world's against me.

My homework takes up all my time
The whole world's against me.

Mom says the laundry isn't done
And no one believes that I'm a pagan
I think I'll cut myself for fun
The whole world's against me.


How come no one likes me?
The whole world.