Suu watched New Moon; did not die. Cain can't do it sober.

[BADGE OF HONOR]

I'll freely admit to enjoying the hell out of that movie. 

...actually it was probably more drinking a lot and yelling "TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF" every time Jacob appeared onscreen.  Gogo inappropriate movie theater behavior.

[Dysnomia]

I'll freely admit to enjoying the hell out of that movie. 

...actually it was probably more drinking a lot and yelling "TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF" every time Jacob appeared onscreen.  Gogo inappropriate movie theater behavior.

[Cain]

is the moral of this thread, that Suu has a higher shitty movie tolerance than Cain?

The more I make myself dislike the film, the funnier my review will be, and the more likelihood screaching Twi-tards will try and e-lynch me.  Do not dispute this, for it is scientific fact.

[Suu]

I can't bring to pay to see it. I don't think I could not end up in jail.

[Cain]

This time, I noted down the times.  It still makes no sense unless you watch the film while reading it, though.

00:44  I do not understand why they are calling this "New Moon" when the moon they are showing is clearly waning.  Either the graphics department need to learn to read, or Stephanie Myers should rename her book.

02:05  SPARKLY!  Ahem, I mean, "this is the face of a killer.  A monster."

02: 45  No Bella, said the sarcastic reviewer, you are your grandmother. And then Bella was a Philosophy 101 paradox.

04: 52  Ah, Bella taking a picture of the "friends" she doesn't really like and never really hangs around with, because Sparkle-Boi is so super-kawaii!!! -^-^-

06:01  I also notice that Edward hasn't lost the constipated look he developed at the start of the first film.

06: 27  Wow, Jacob has really big incisors.  Kinda canine looking or something.  Oh wow, just imagine if he was a werewolf, wouldn't that just like, totally blow your mind, man?

07:42  "Bella, you give me everything just by breathing."  I think my balls just shrivelled up and died upon hearing that. 

08:00  Is it just me, or have they made the weird eye colouration really noticeable in this film?  I swear, it was a lot more subtle in the first one, to the point that it's now starting to bug me.

08:50  Maybe my peer group were just very cynical, but for us, Romeo and Juliet was a hilarious play.  I nearly choked when I had to read the part of Lord Capulet chastising Tybalt as a "saucy boy".

09:50  Wait, so his plan was to commit suicide if he failed?  Note to self: wangsty sparkle-vampires suck at planning.

1146:  Ah, obviously these are bad vampires.  I can tell because their eyes are red.  Its' colour-coded for our convenience, you see.

13:20  Its good they are explaining the Victoria thing, and not just leaving it hanging out there, so those who didn't see the previous film or don't realise her actress was replaced wonder why she wants to kill Sparkle-Boi.

15:20  On retrospect, throwing Bella hard against the wall (with a glass vase in front of it) because she dropped a little bit of blood may have been a counterproductive move.  You know, if you didn't want a little bit of blood to turn into more blood.  Then again, its not like anyone except Emmett and Alice were actually enjoying themselves anyway, unless standing around and looking awkward is the new way kids are having fun these days.

18: 25  It's very simple.  Bella is quite vain, and attracted mainly to looks.  If you read the book, Edward, you'd notice how shallow she is very quickly.  Then again, you're not exactly perfect in this area either, Mr-I-Like-To-Watch-You-Sleep-At-Night-and-generally-stalk-you-before-ever-having-a-full-conversation Vampire Man.

19:15  "Oh Edward, this is never going to work out.  Kiss me!  I love you!"  I'm pretty sure I mentioned this mixed-signals thing in the last movie.

20:27:  Why do Bella's friends put up with her being moody, not wanting to talk to them and constantly pining for her sparkle-boi?

24:00  Oh god, the greatest romance of our time, ROONT FOREVER!

26:22  Fall of Woe!  I now predict she will lie in the leaves, crying for her lost sparkle-boi.

26:50  Called it.

27: 55  "Hey guys, I was just strolling around in the woods with my top off, like you do, and found this girl lying around.  I decided waking her up was too much effort, so I just carried her straight out.  Did I miss anything while I was gone?"

29:18  Well, you could always try talking to your friends.  It's probably easier than constantly ignoring them.

29:55  SCREAMS OF WOE!

32:15  "FUCK YOU, MY COUSIN DIED OF LEPROSY!"

32:39  Oh god, I'm starting to agree with the Valley Girl.

33:51  Wherein we discover Bella has all the survival instinct of a sea-monkey.

35:56  "If repeatedly stabbing myself in the head is what it takes to see him, I guess that is what I'll do".

38:22  Bella is such a wet blanket I doubt she could influence weeds to grow.

43:33  Prediction: Bella will jump off a cliff at some point in this film.  Unlike most people who do this, she will not hit her head and drown, or be too drunk to swim and drown, and thus save us having to watch any more of the movie.

43:59  Kids, if you miss school, you to may turn into an idiot who likes to jump off cliffs for fun.  MISSING SCHOOL IS BAD, OKAY?

45:50  Dude, couldn't you just run over to her?  I mean, I know I'm one to talk about laziness, but that's seriously lazy.

48:00  Ah, this must be the "someone hits on Bella before she rudely shrugs him off scene", yes?

48:29 OH EM GEE she actually agreed!

48:57  I'm totally convinced that's her thing.

49:10  DATE ROONT!

49:51  Awkwaaaaaaard!

52:27  You were screwed up long before he came on the scene, darling.

53:58  It's called testosterone. 

55: 53  "Oh, hey Bella.  Just hanging around over here, in the rain, with my shirt off.  You know, like people do.  Sup?"

58:00  "They have shaved my hear, and so robbed me of my goodness.  It's like Sampson, only lamer."

1:01:02  Danger Ghost Edward is actually much smarter than normal Edward or Bella.  Why couldn't he be a main character?

1:02:42  A vampire who doesn't believe in werewolves?  It's a little arbitrary, this scepticism of yours.

1:02:46  Wow, the CGI on this is terrible.  Don't tell me that doesn't look wrong, around the mouth.  Wow, that's actually surprisingly bad.  I would've thought, given the popularity of the series and how cheap decent special effects now are, they would've done better than that.

1:03:29  BULLET TIME!

1:09:50  OK, that probably isn't just testosterone.

1:10:27  OH EM GEE, Jacob is a werewolf!  My mind is, like, totally blown, man.

1:10:39  Hawt wolf on wolf action.

1:11:02  CGI seems better now, though still not amazing.

1:12:24  Yep, she's the vampire girl.  Once you go fang, you can never go, er....shit, that doesn't rhyme. 

1:13:24  What?  She's terrible with weird.  Admittedly, no more terrible than she is with everyone else, but she basically stands around looking awkward and acting unfriendly regardless of what species you are.

1:14:20  Wasn't the whole "fang against fur" thing kinda overplayed even by the time of Underworld?  There is no conceivable reason why vampires and werewolves wouldn't get along, except possibly due to predation competition.  Which isn't a factor in the case of the Cullens anyway.  THINK IT THROUGH, PEOPLE.

1:14:33  "Have you tried not being a werewolf? Are you sure it's just not a phase?  Maybe you're confused."

1:18:27  Fiver on the redhead.  Er, Victoria.  Crazy beats brawn, hands down.

1:20:15 Well, that was disappointing.  All that running and music, for nothing.

1:20:56  Called it, not that this was hard.  Meyers telegraphs EVERYTHING at least an hour in advance, just to make sure you can see her foreshadowing.

1:21:48  Well, that was clever. 

1:22:30  Werewolf ex Machina.  This and Vampire ex Machina make up pretty much every way Bella escapes her problems.

1:24:27  Here it comes, the "but I'm a monster, Bella" speech.

1:27: 40  "I also do shark-wrestling, on weekends."

1:27:48  Have I mentioned I like Alice?  Cuz I really like Alice.

1:32: 30  This was not entirely unexpected, either.  I mean, anyone who's read the end of Romeo and Juliet knows how that worked out, the idea that Edward would, at some point, think Bella dead and carry out his idiotic suicide plan was pretty much certain the moment he told said plan to Bella.

1:32:56  I think he meant, like, leaving a note or something.

1:33:56  A bit of subtle product placement is always nice.

1:34:31  Cullen looks kinda like Enki, if Enki learnt how to shave and had better hair.

1:37:22  Too many strong colours in one place is not good.  It looks garish, people.

1:38:00  Shouting is faster than running.  Just saying.

1:38: 29  SPARKLES!

1:39:08  No, you idiot, really?  Danger Ghost Edward was much smarter than this.

1:44:09  As mentioned before, this is because I suspect she doesn't actually have a brain.  So far, this theory is confirmed by pretty much everything she does, so it's not entirely without merit.

1:44:54  I'm telling you man, nothing is going on in there. 

1:46:10  No brain, no pain.  I'm sticking to this theory, it is the only one that makes sense so far.

1:46:20  You think she confounds you now, just wait until she starts jumping off cliffs and generally acting like an idiot again.

1:47:19  Good to see the Mook Code of Honour still holds.  There are how many vampires in that room, and only one is actively trying to kill Bella/fight Edward?  Yeah, exactly.  No self-respecting Evil Overlord would put up with this kind of shoddy service.  If you want someone dead, swarming them is perfectly acceptable.

1:49:18  Potential Alice on Bella action?  Hawt.

1:51:56  Well nice job breaking it, hero.

1:53:10  Lol, pwnd.

1:54:10  YAY THE GREATEST ROMANTIC STORY OF OUR GENERATION IS BACK ON!

1:54:11  Although this does mean she's now two-timing on Jacob, the slut.

1:56:00  Democracy in action – two fangs, one vote.

1:57:30  Ah, the deadly love triangle of death!

1:58:16  "Mind rape Jacob for me, plz."

1:59:20  Oh, finally.  I've only been waiting for this for most of the movie.  I think my popcorn has gone cold, too.

1:59:27  Spoilsport.

After movie thoughts: either than wasn't as wangsty as the previous film, or I've gotten more resistant to it.  I'm not sure which, though. 

Also, for amusement, here are some reviews of the New Moon book, from the Twilight wiki site:

Review site, DearAuthor.com criticized that, "[Stephenie Meyer portrays Bella], either intentionally or not, as a selfish user who seemed to only be able to exist with the help of a man in her life." and rated New Moon a F. AvidBookReader.com rated New Moon a F and said that, "The protagonist and narrator, Bella, to be the weakest character in the story and the most annoying... I didn't really care for the teenage angst...[and] The thread with the werewolves was a bit uneven."  Other critics at, Teenreads.com said, "In the middle, the story sometimes drags, and readers may long for the vampires' return. The events of New Moon, though, will leave you wanting to kill yourself for even considering this series good."

http://twilightsaga.wikia.com/wiki/New_Moon#Critical_Reception

[Suu]

I also love Alice and the rest of the Cullens. They make more sense then the rest of them.