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Books to confuse your children by

Started by Elder Iptuous, August 31, 2008, 04:35:30 PM

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Elder Iptuous

So i made this score at the Half-priced books the other day and thought i would share it.
It seemed innocuous at first.

It has various lift a flaps with objects and their names on them on the odd numbered pages, but on the even numbered pages it has object associations on them.
Here we see some foods.  Here's a flap with a donut

What would one naturally associate with that tasty pastry?

Why, the Spider lurking underneath it, of course!  (incidentally we had donuts for breakfast today so my kid is running around like hes on PCP or something)
Next, we see a fork.

I've always associated forks with the male gender, since they're stabby and all, but

This one's a forkin nancy!

Last example is some feathers.

welll....I guess this one makes sense....

on weeeeeeeed!

ok..... there's many more, but that's enough.  I showed it to my friends and they all seem to think that it would be bad parenting to introduce your child to seemingly strange and random associations for things... Sucks for my kids, if thats the case, because they are going to associate donuts and spiders for the rest of their life.....

fomenter

you are never to young for ?schizophrenia?
:tinfoilhat:
"So she says to me, do you wanna be a BAD boy? And I say YEAH baby YEAH! Surf's up space ponies! I'm makin' gravy... Without the lumps. HAAA-ha-ha-ha!"


hmroogp

fomenter

"So she says to me, do you wanna be a BAD boy? And I say YEAH baby YEAH! Surf's up space ponies! I'm makin' gravy... Without the lumps. HAAA-ha-ha-ha!"


hmroogp

Elder Iptuous

good call....
It turns out his hyperactivity wasn't due to the donuts at all, but instead from the HAARP control signals.

He is now patiently reading his lesson book.

Triple Zero

you give your kids donuts for breakfast?

awesome book btw.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Cain


Elder Iptuous

Quote from: triple zero on August 31, 2008, 05:40:01 PM
you give your kids donuts for breakfast?

awesome book btw.

Heavens, no!   We dont give him anything for breakfast.  He pays dearly.


Honestly, it's not as bad as it sounds.  my wife is a food nazi with him and he's lived his first year living on homemade baby food consisting of stuff like organic mango-spinach-bulgarwheat gruel.  a bit after his first birthday he's graduated onto human food, but now my wife has simply shifted our diet to the food nazi direction.  :cry:
Wife was at work this morning, and i figured i'd let him get cracked out on a raspberry filled donut and apple fritter.   I shoulda taken a pic of that because, with the raspberry goo, he looked a bit like Cain and Squid's avatars...
wait..... maybe it is as bad as it sounds....
oh well. the beanie fixed it.

fomenter

"So she says to me, do you wanna be a BAD boy? And I say YEAH baby YEAH! Surf's up space ponies! I'm makin' gravy... Without the lumps. HAAA-ha-ha-ha!"


hmroogp

Pope Lecherous

the beanie has been known to enhance certain frequencies as opposed to shielding them.  The man has made me paranoid... it's counter counter intel... or is it?  :tinfoilhat:
--- War to the knife, knife to the hilt.

Payne


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Manta Obscura

I have found a new goal for my life: I must find that book and partake of the wisdom contained within its pages.

Iptuous: can you post the ISBN number? If I'm able to find it, I'll try scanning it so we can post the whole thing online. With a little work, it can become a new Discordian holy text or something.
Everything I wish for myself, I wish for you also.

Elder Iptuous

Sure thing. I'll do that when i get home.
I goooogled it, and only got results on a pocket sized board-book version.....

Cramulus