Books to confuse your children by

[Elder Iptuous]

So i made this score at the Half-priced books the other day and thought i would share it.
It seemed innocuous at first.

It has various lift a flaps with objects and their names on them on the odd numbered pages, but on the even numbered pages it has object associations on them.
Here we see some foods.  Here's a flap with a donut

What would one naturally associate with that tasty pastry?

Why, the Spider lurking underneath it, of course!  (incidentally we had donuts for breakfast today so my kid is running around like hes on PCP or something)
Next, we see a fork.

I've always associated forks with the male gender, since they're stabby and all, but

This one's a forkin nancy!

Last example is some feathers.

welll....I guess this one makes sense....

on weeeeeeeed!

ok..... there's many more, but that's enough.  I showed it to my friends and they all seem to think that it would be bad parenting to introduce your child to seemingly strange and random associations for things... Sucks for my kids, if thats the case, because they are going to associate donuts and spiders for the rest of their life.....

[fomenter]

you are never to young for ?schizophrenia?

[fomenter]

companion link http://zapatopi.net/afdb/build.html how to make tinfiol hats

[Elder Iptuous]

good call....
It turns out his hyperactivity wasn't due to the donuts at all, but instead from the HAARP control signals.

He is now patiently reading his lesson book.

[Triple Zero]

you give your kids donuts for breakfast?

awesome book btw.

[Cain]

 

[Elder Iptuous]

you give your kids donuts for breakfast?

awesome book btw.

Heavens, no!   We dont give him anything for breakfast.  He pays dearly.


Honestly, it's not as bad as it sounds.  my wife is a food nazi with him and he's lived his first year living on homemade baby food consisting of stuff like organic mango-spinach-bulgarwheat gruel.  a bit after his first birthday he's graduated onto human food, but now my wife has simply shifted our diet to the food nazi direction. 
Wife was at work this morning, and i figured i'd let him get cracked out on a raspberry filled donut and apple fritter.   I shoulda taken a pic of that because, with the raspberry goo, he looked a bit like Cain and Squid's avatars...
wait..... maybe it is as bad as it sounds....
oh well. the beanie fixed it.

[fomenter]

the beanie is definitely 

[Pope Lecherous]

the beanie has been known to enhance certain frequencies as opposed to shielding them.  The man has made me paranoid... it's counter counter intel... or is it? 

[Payne]

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

This whole thread is

[Manta Obscura]

I have found a new goal for my life: I must find that book and partake of the wisdom contained within its pages.

Iptuous: can you post the ISBN number? If I'm able to find it, I'll try scanning it so we can post the whole thing online. With a little work, it can become a new Discordian holy text or something.

[Elder Iptuous]

Sure thing. I'll do that when i get home.
I goooogled it, and only got results on a pocket sized board-book version.....

[Cramulus]

[Elder Iptuous]

Thar yar

ISBN :
1-4127-0537-1

Amazonian Link-o:
http://www.amazon.com/First-Words-Lift-Warling-Photography/dp/1412705371/ref=sr_11_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1224892954&sr=11-1