What's next?

[Janvier]

Or Kill Me stopped talking to me. They must be in my head now, learning by observing the master. Is this board harder or easier?

Which is to say: whose cock do I suck to get a custom title around here?

[Cainad (dec.)]

Check your profile preferences.

[East Coast Hustle]

mine, but it's not happening so don't waste your breath.

[Janvier]

mine, but it's not happening so don't waste your breath.

You were being a total noob in Or Kill Me

[Janvier]

Cast: Ryan Seacrest Simon Cowell Randy Jackson Paula Abdul Smug Religionists of various stripes The Bovine Millions  ACT 1 SCENE 1. RS: Hi! I'm Ryan Seacrest...and when I'm not busy pretending to date Teri Hatcher (catch her in season 3 of Desparate Housewives), I like to host this new show...... FALSE IDOL (Cue opening credits & music. CGI montage of various religious symbols, figures, institutions etc) RS: Tonight, we begin the search to find America's best prophet/cult leader/whacko. Here's what happened at our New York auditions. ACT 1 SCENE 2. (sweeping camera shots of hundreds of devotees hanging around outside on the street, waving to the TV crew and clutching their scriptures & audition number sheets) (interior shot: religious hopefuls sat waiting inside building. RS approaches) RS: Hi, I'm the entirely heterosexual Ryan Seacrest. Contestant 1: (dismissive glare) RS: Err...uhh...what's your name? C1: I'm AL Aqbar Jihadi! Silence you fornicating western dog!! (Seacrest looks askance into camera and backs away slowly) ACT 1 SCENE 3 (inside audtion room. the judges are behind a desk drinking COCA COLA, except paula who is drinking vodka out of a brown paper bag. simon is looking bored) SC: Okay Contestant 1. What is your name and where are you from? C1: I AM AL AQBAR JIHADI! I AM 24 YEARS OLD AND I'M FROM WISCONSIN!! SC: [bemused] RJ: Aight dawg...let's hear it. PA: I LURRVE YUO! C1: ALLAH WILL SEVER THE HEAD FROM THE GREAT AMERICAN SATAN!! HE WILL BOIL YOUR STOMACHS IN HELL!!! THE BLOOD OF 234 GAZILLION MUSLIMS IS ON YOUR HANDS!!! SC: Stop! Stop! STOP!! That was the WORST koranic sabre rattling I've heard in months. It was just appauling Osama-karaoke. PA: I LIKE YOUR SHOES!! RJ: Ok dawg, check it out. I recorded with Khomeni back in '79 and you just didn't bring it tonight. SC: You're not even Middle Eastern, are you? C1: F*** you! You don't know nothin' about me! I've got more theological talent than all of you motherf*****s. [C1 exits] (cuts to advert by Ford. Carrie Underwood is ploughed down by Kermit the Frog driving a hybrid SUV) ACT 1 SCENE 4. (back to the audition room) PA: I HATE YUO [girlie punches SC in the arm] [the next contestant arrives] C2: Repent!! Repent!! You must realize that God sent his only son Jesus because of his love for mankind....and if you don't....then well, you'll BURN!!! ALL THE HOMOS, JEWS & LIBERALS WILL BURN!! MWAA HAAA HAA HAA...THE BIBLE IS THE WORD OF GOD!! The Judges: ??? [security takes C2 away, but not before administering a Rodney King-esque beat down] PA: Byee!!!!! [hiccups] ACT 2 SCENE 1. (It is the near the end of the day, the judges are weary, Paula is only a shot glass away from unconsciousness. C3 arrives) SC: And you are? C3: Elijah Greenbaum. SC: And what are you going to do for us tonight? C3: I'd like to do a song entitled 'Counting the nostril hairs of Yahweh.' SC: NEXT! ACT 2 SCENE 2. [hundreds of clips edited together - buddhists, newagers, wiccans, hindus, toltec shaman etc etc are all chastised by Simon's threatening English accent] ACT 2 SCENE 3. RJ: This is the last one I'm hearing today. PA: [is hunched over the desk, partially undressed] SC: If this f****** shite show doesn't pick up soon, I'm f****** going back to London tonight. [C4 appears] SC: [very impatient...yes, even more than usual] RJ: What's up dawg......etc? C4: Everyone is in a Black Iron Prison....except me SC: Oh thank f*** for that. You're through to the next round.


Now I get to write my own second act ^___________^

[East Coast Hustle]

we'd really prefer it if you didn't.

[Janvier]

we'd really prefer it if you didn't.

Of course you would. But it's no longer your choice to make, is it now? These are times of chaos, as Goddess likes it most. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!

[Janvier]

"I asked for true love,", she said, "not the one..."
"How could you expect anything else? The only truth is that of the one."
She invoked. She called me truth and love. Now I'm free to call the world any word I know. And so are you, if you believe in true love...

[Faust]

romance is dead

[Cramulus]

what's the story here guys? This is a CoG refugee, right? 

It's so cute when they try to troll us back.

[Cain]

No.

The thing is, Janvier was saying some cool and interesting stuff when he first showed up.  Its a shame, he had some ideas which looked like they held some promise. 

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Sometimes I think people come in with good ideas and get distracted by the rough welcome. (Not that I would have any PERSONAL experience with that sort of error in thinking...)

Janvier will probably get bored and leave, or catch the current of the site and modify his posting to fit the audience. I hope for the latter, because he does seem to be a thinking person, rather than a cabbage.

[Cain]

Look back through his posts, at the ones he started with.  I liked those, though I was too busy job-hunting to really comment.  No comparison between them and the current drivel.

[East Coast Hustle]

Janvier, you fucking idiot.

you just reported my post.

to me. telling me you didn't believe me about this being my site.

now I have your email address.

oops.

[Chairman Risus]

Janvier, you fucking idiot.

you just reported my post.

to me. telling me you didn't believe me about this being my site.

now I have your email address.

oops.