Looking for a publishing house

[Jack Grants]

Hi everyone,
I've come across the book Principia Discordia a few days ago, read it, really liked it and I read the book of the SubGenius afterwards.
I've really enjoyed the humour and blending of mythologies, existing and invented ones in both works. I'm a French writer (writing in French and English) and my book has things in common with those. As this style is a bit peculiar, it's not easy finding a publishing house.
That's why I'm leaving a message here, hoping some of you might know publishing houses that could be interested in my work. Here's an extract so you can get an idea of what I do, give me your feedback if you want. This is the beginning of my dialogue with Bukowski :


- Hi, Buk ! I attended the reading, I'd like to offer you a beer even if it looks like you have everything you need.
- The more the better.
- I couldn't agree more. My name's Jack by the way.
- I spotted your sofa in the audience. It looked very cosy.
- What would be the point if it wasn't ?
- We wouldn't ask ourselves that question in a logical world.
- Let's not twist the Bollock dagger in the wound.
- I also picked out that you were accompanied by a really strange animal.
- You see many things for a drunk guy doing a reading.
- Thanks.
- Yes, indeed. It's Jean-Louis, he's...
- No, I meant your cactus.
- Oh. Yes, I brought it back from my last trip in the desert. It's my pet of the moment.
- And... it's not dangerous ?
- Don't worry, it's tied up. If it misbehaves, I quarter it.
- Be careful that the society for the prevention of cruelty to plants doesn't lay into you.
- No, no risk at all, I was joking. I wouldn't hurt a flower.
- What do you do in life, man ?
- I'm a hedonist.
- Could be worse.
- I believe so too. Apart from that, I'm in a band.
- What kind of band ?
- Rock... Yeah, let's say that.
- As long as it's not U2, I'm ok with it.

My retort didn't take a long time coming and it burst forth with the support of a great many sputters. I'd like to underline that I don't sputter often but like everybody, once in a while, under the effect of anger brought about by the evocation of a twit, for instance. I know it's against my philosophy to get excited over nothing but it's impossible not to crack sometimes. That being said, maybe I'd bring happiness to an insect that would taste my saliva on the ground and be spaced out for a week.

- I didn't believe it when I saw Bono recite one of your poems in the documentary "Born into this".
- Yep, he even thought I was thrilled when he invited me and my wife to a U2 concert.
- That's proof this moron has not even read your last book. He's there, watching the camera every two seconds, which is very natural whereas this dick would have the same expression if he read a verse of the bible. When I see him, I feel like making him eat his fag glasses and shove his face in johns that have not been flushed for a few weeks. I feel like making him check from close up all the stools from the city of Dublin... I... No, that's enough, you get the picture.
- Absolutely. You think his head belongs in a sewer. A shitty band remains a shitty band, even if it fills stadiums. And may they spare the stupid argument : millions of people can't be wrong. Millions of people can be wrong, they prove it every day. To think it's Sean Penn who had introduced us. He surely was as wasted as when he appeared in an episode of "Viva La Bam".
- This guy turned out badly. It's a shame, he's done a few good movies, notably "State of Grace" where he formed a wonderful duo of boozers with Gary Coleman.
- Wha'choo talkin' 'bout, Jack ?
- What ?
- You said Gary Coleman.
- Oops hehe, I meant Gary Oldman... As to Sean, what is he playing at, going to Iraq to play human shield ? Is he still drunk from State of Grace ?
- He wishes. It didn't do him any good to go back there.
- What do you mean ?
- You haven't heard about it ? He died in 2017 while wanting to prevent the second and a half Gulf war. He got hit by a "stray bullet", he declared, doing the gesture of the quotation marks with his fingers.
- That's odd, I didn't know about that but I don't worry about the slightest odd stuff otherwise I'd never see the end of it.
- The war didn't occur, Buk carried on. Once Sean was deceased, the belligerents calmed down. Coincidence ? It wouldn't surprise me if they had planned it that way. That's going a bit far but you never know with a guy like W. Bush (yes, one or more Bush still had some power at the time as I'll explain to you later. Don't channel hop !). He probably took advantage of the rise in prices of Sean's dvds on the internet to line his pockets a bit. Great oaks from little acorns grow (great dough from little big cons grow) besides George senior doesn't grant him enough pocket money to buy any more than a couple of firecrackers and some gumdrops. Nevertheless, Sean's death was not in vain. I hope everybody has realized that fucking actors don't have to meddle in other people's affairs as if their opinion mattered more than others'. Take Steven Seagal ! Who cares to know if he's involved in the Mafia ? He's a great actor, period. They should have cast him in my film "Barfly" instead of Mickey Rourke, whose only really terrific movie is "Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man". Or if not him, a true wino like Nick Nolte or his first cousin Gary Busey or the one with a scarred face in "Grease". There's no shortage of winos, damn it. To conclude, may everybody learn to mind his own ass first. The world would be a better place then.
- These stacks of celebrities who get involved in humanitarian relief look fake. They remind me of the characters from "The fountainhead" by Ayn Rand. They go with the stream of altruism while consciously or not, it's their ego which is at the centre of their actions. Which makes it hard to detect the handful of really genuine ones, I said, starting to see everything around me muliply by about two. I tried to stabilize the image... in vain and continued : I could just see you do a prevention advert against alcohol.
- I'll do it if they pay me in booze.
- Hey, have you thought about the fact that if you were born ten years earlier, you would have landed in the middle of the Prohibition. That would have been dreadful.
- I prefer not to think about it. My hands start shaking when I hear of such a subject. The main thing is to make sure it never happens again. NEVERMORE.
- I hear you. Come on, let's have a drink to late Sean Penn's health.
- Yeah. I had lent him a book, I guess I'll never see it again. He must have taken it to the grave.
- And nobody's seen it in the coffin ?
- Nope. On the other hand, Bono's glasses were found there. Coincidence ?
- You mean these guys would be the kind to "jog" in a deserted park at four a.m. ? I bet Boy George Michael is in charge of blowing the whistle.
- The merry brotherhood of the Oedip-throat-us complex.

........................
To be continued

[LMNO]

www.lulu.com

[Jack Grants]

I'd prefer a real publishing house. This lulu type thing is interesting but expensive.

[hooplala]

I don't imagine you will find a publishing house around these parts, but stranger things have happened, so... who knows?

On a different note... your dialogue with Bukowski doesn't sound anything like Bukowski really.  Was that your intention?

[Jack Grants]

Exactly, strange things happen so...
The dialogue with Bukowski is not entirely representative of the whole thing and the dialogue in itself is way longer than that but anyway, Buk is my favorite writer and I have read most of his books and poems and seen almost everything there is to see about him. That doesn't make me an expert but by and large, I can really imagine this dialogue with the real Buk. Let's not forget that it's a work of fiction and I'm talking to a dead man on a planet of my creation.
How is it for you, do you find it so unrealistic that it ruins it or you don't like it anyhow ? 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I actually was going to start a small press, but then I got divorced and had no money. So there might have been a publishing house here.

I still want to do it, but first I have to earn more moneys.

[LMNO]

Jack, I'm afraid you're going to have to do what everyone else does.

Mail it to every single publisher you can find, and endure a 99% rejection rate.

[Jack Grants]

Yeah, I just wish there were more open-minded publishing houses which are ready to take risks on unknown authors.

Good luck on your project, Nigel.

[hooplala]

How is it for you, do you find it so unrealistic that it ruins it or you don't like it anyhow ? 

I liked the form you chose to use, I am a big fan of conversational dashes, or whatever the term for them is.  I found the apparent disconnect between my image of Bukowski's personality and your image distracting, but that didn't make me dislike it.  The subject matter wasn't really what I am interested in, but that's a personal issue.  You certainly seem to have the chops for writing.

You might try Falcon Press, but last I checked they weren't actively seeking new writers.

[Jack Grants]

Thanks for the constructive comment, BAWHEED. It's always nice to have more feedback than "I like it" or "I don't".
And thanks for the tip, I contacted Falcon Press, we never know.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Maybe try New Falcon as well...

[Jack Grants]

Yep, I contacted both, thanks 

[Dr Goofy]

Did someone say Publishing and house?
     \

[Jack Grants]

Yes, Dr Goofy, any tips ?

[Cramulus]

You're doing the right thing by trying to find a publisher via networking rather than via mailling them manuscript after manuscript. If you don't have a relationship with an editor or an agent, you'll be in the slush pile forever.

I was talking to an author recently who got her first gig by finding an editor in her network. The editor was her daughter's preschool teacher's boyfriend's sister. No joke. She got published after spending 8+ years sending manuscript after manuscript into the slush pile. So be dilligent!



there IS someone who will publish your work within six degrees of separation... it's just a matter of trolling through your extended network until you find the right person.