Author Topic: BrideGASM  (Read 2175 times)

Herbertina Merrique V

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BrideGASM
« on: January 25, 2009, 02:10:33 pm »
As a result of a shitload of soap opera and angst and drama, I just received a beautiful snow-white wedding dress. I was told to do whatever I want with it, including burning, tearing and burying it, dressing a snowman in it, handing it out to a stranger, filling it with safety pins and spikes and chains, etc.
As I'll probably have use for it in many mindfuckeries, I don't really want to ruin it unless it's for great justice and epic WIN, but there are so many things to do with it.

- Wearing it, I could run to the nearest bar (muttering bitterly and looking like I've cried my eyes out) and buy all the booze I want despite the fact that I am way under the legal age. Okay, it's proven that I don't need a wedding dress for getting in, but this would be funney though I don't even like alcohol that much.
- I could mail it to a stranger.
- I could bury it for a few days, then put it on and walk slowly from the cemetery to the town. Looking like a living dead is almost my profession, so this would be a nice add. (Even better if I could actually rise from under all the snow, hmm. The poor people wouldn't notice me in all the whiteyness until I'm right in front of them.)
- I could actually put it on a snowman somewhere and leave it there.
- The street improvisation possibilities are endless - I'm in a small artist crew that probably would like to join a wedding flashmob on the street. Random people just suddenly arranging themselves into a priest, a young pair and their weeping parents. Quick, really odd vows and then keep walking as if it never happened.
- Or I could ask someone to play my fiancé in the middle of a mall, desperately trying to get her beloved sweetheart back to the church. ("The goat was a horrible mistake, I know, but please forgive me! Annabelle, come back!")
- I could stain the dress with blood and let it dry, then get an urn, and sit with it in the same bus or on a bench the whole day, just looking into nothingness with hollow eyes. It should creep the fuck out of people.
- I'm sure the store cashier would wake up from her boring routines if I wore the dress and bought a really strange combo of stuff. Like twelve cucumbers, a body builder magazine, some doorknobs and an axe.

Maybe this has little to do with spreading the word or actually forcing people to Think, but hey, it's fun. (And it could be of use in the more thought-provoking stuff too. Discordian Weddings™, spoiling the best day of your life by showing up in the church looking like the bride and throwing apples at your mother.)
THE MORALE WILL CONTINUE UNTIL DISCORDIANS IMPROVE

Ask me anything. Or else.

rong

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Re: BrideGASM
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2009, 02:47:50 pm »
wear it to someone else's wedding and/or reception
"he was a smart feller who felt smart"

Pariah

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Re: BrideGASM
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2009, 06:20:00 pm »
Send it to an older man and make him wear it around.
Play safe! Ski only in a clockwise direction! Let's all have fun together!

Suu

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Re: BrideGASM
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2009, 06:47:26 pm »
Pic of the dress please?  :evil:
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Herbertina Merrique V

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Re: BrideGASM
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2009, 07:23:42 pm »
I'll take some once I get home to find my camera.
THE MORALE WILL CONTINUE UNTIL DISCORDIANS IMPROVE

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LMNO

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Re: BrideGASM
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2009, 06:25:14 pm »
wear it to someone else's wedding and/or reception

Burst into churches mid-service.  Ask if you're late.  When they question you, give a church's name on the other side of town:  "Isn't this Sant Vincent's?"  Run out again.

AFK

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Re: BrideGASM
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2009, 06:29:08 pm »
Go to Karoke Bars.
Request "Like a Virgin"
but sing, "Like a Surgeon"

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Re: BrideGASM
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2009, 06:54:07 pm »
Look into your local history and see if there are any "bride" related ghost stories.  Take full advantage of these!! :lulz: