Cramulus Has Gained a Level

[Cain]

Also, inspiration for my story comes entirely from 4chan, who figured out this...flaw, in the rules

http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=921167&x=extremely+tight+space

[Cramulus]

 

I'm laughing my ASS off, guys - thanks

makes up for the fact that very few people IRL are even aware that it's my birthday

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Cramulus hears a knock at the door.

Hesitantly, he hoists himself up off of the cold tile.

He looks through the peephole- nothing.
He opens the door, looks around- no one

On the floor, halfway on the doormat, there's a box.
He picks it up, brings it inside.
It's poorly packed, poorly taped, it opens easily.

Inside he finds-


Children scream, women faint, and Cramulus? He chuckles and tosses it out the window. There's an explosion, a fat guy yells "HEY!".
Cramulus takes a nap under a pile of kittens.

THE END.

[Kai]

This is probably the best idea for a birthday thread ever.

[Vene]

After a long day of work


Cram heads home disappointed that nobody remembered his birthday


But he's got company coming



Cram hears a knock at the door so he puts on his best dress


Big Gay Cowboy action follows


And a post-coitus victory outfit


Sorry guys, you're too late

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

 

[Kai]

 

[East Coast Hustle]

[Telarus]

 

This whole thread rules.


CRAMULUS:
  Tell me, Sir, why you stare so at my 'stache?!

THE BORE (staggered):
  I. . .I...

CRAMULUS (walking straight up to him):
  Well, what is there strange?

THE BORE (drawing back):
  Your Grace mistakes!

CRAMULUS:
  How now?  Is't soft and dangling, like a lass' tresses?. . .

THE BORE (same play):
  I never. . .

CRAMULUS:
  Is it crook'd, like a punk's mowhawk?

THE BORE:
  I. . .

CRAMULUS:
  Do you see a tangle upon the tip?

THE BORE:
  Nay. . .

CRAMULUS:
  Or a fly, that takes the air there?  What
  Is there to stare at?

THE BORE:
  Oh. . .

CRAMULUS:
  What do you see?

THE BORE:
  But I was careful not to look--knew better.

CRAMULUS:
  And why not look at it, an if you please?

THE BORE:
  I was. . .

CRAMULUS:
  Oh! it disgusts you!

THE BORE:
  Sir!

CRAMULUS:
  Its hue...
  Unwholesome seems to you?

THE BORE:
  Sir!

CRAMULUS:
  Or its shape?

THE BORE:
  No, on the contrary!. . .

CRAMULUS:
  Why then that air
  Disparaging?--perchance you think it too large?

THE BORE (stammering):
  No, small, quite small--minute!

CRAMULUS:
  Minute!  What now?
  Accuse me of a thing ridiculous!
  Small--my mustachio?

THE BORE:
  Heaven help me!

CRAMULUS:
  'Tis enormous!
  Old Flathead, empty-headed meddler, know
  That I am proud possessing such appendice.
  'Tis well known, a big 'stache is indicative
  Of a soul affable, and kind, and courteous,
  Liberal, brave, just like myself, and such
  As you can never dare to dream yourself,
  Rascal contemptible!  For that witless face
  That my hand soon will come to cuff--is all
  As empty. . .

(He cuffs him.)

THE BORE:
  Aie!

CRAMULUS:
  --of pride, of aspiration,
  Of feeling, poetry--of godlike spark
  Of all that appertains to my big 'stache,
(He turns him by the shoulders, suiting the action to the word):
  As. . .what my boot will shortly come and kick!

THE BORE (running away):
  Help!  Call the Guard!

CRAMULUS:
  Take notice, boobies all,
  Who find my visage's center ornament
  A thing to jest at--that it is my wont--
  An if the jester's noble--ere we part
  To let him taste my steel, and not my boot!

[Valerie - Gone]

Too lazy to make up a story. Especially one that could not compete with the greatness of this thread. So...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

[Iason Ouabache]

Too lazy to make up a story. Especially one that could not compete with the greatness of this thread. So...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I would like to point out that in your apology for being lazy you wrote more words than I did in my previous post.  You have much to learn about the Slack.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Also, copypasta.

[Suu]

This is the best thread ever!

[Cainad (dec.)]

This is the best thread ever!

Almost.


Do nevar forget: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=16800.0



Cainad,
Goes back and reads that thread again every once in a while

[Suu]

Bumping up over all of Cainad's bumps so people can post moar stories.