Official February Shit List Thread

[Suu]

Just a recap of my day so far:

My roof was torn off by wind, which caused my attic to flood and subsequently bring down the drop ceiling in my bedroom.

The stress brought about severe stomach pain that STILL isn't 100% gone. For about an hour I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital. Basically I think my uterus went into "labor" and it don't got a babby to push out.

When I actually attempted to lay on the floor for a nap, some Dumbfuckimus Prime decided to hit the power pole outside of my house, and knocked the electricity out for 45 minutes, which resulted in me sitting here in the dark drinking Knob Creek neat and muttering to myself.

If anyone needs me for the rest of the month I'm going to be in my bathroom wearing a colander on my head and holding a spatula in one hand and a .45 in the other.

[Adios]

So a gal needed some help. We agreed to sell her our car on payments. She called two days later screaming at us.

   
Fuck me. The water pump went out, shredding the timing belt. Repairs, including tow will be $834.00

I was only asking $2,000.00 for the damn car.


While pulling the engine apart, they discovered the bitch had hit something and cracked the oil pan. Add $334.00

The cam shaft was also damaged.

Total cost of repair is now over $1600.00.


I told them to scrap the fucker.

[Suu]

For some reason, Facebook keeps popping up a wedding photo of Herbert and I from a friend's album.

I really want to shoot this fucking month in the face.

[Suu]

I WENT TO BED 3 HOURS AGO.

I AM NOW AWAKE.

WHY?


MY HEAD IS POUNDING.

MY NEIGHBORS ARE HAVING A PARTY.

AND MY AIR MATTRESS IS NO LONGER HOLDING AIR.


YOU ALL HAVE UNTIL TOMORROW MORNING TO TALK ME OUT OF SUICIDE NAO KTHX.

[Cain]

If you suicide, how will you punish your neighbours?

[Telarus]

Damn straight.

[Suu]

Punishment will wait until I actually have a reason to stay up until 3am and they don't.

I'm so fucking tired I don't even want to make coffee, I'll just get a large on the way in from Dunkin.

[LMNO]

It makes total sense that the last day of February falls on a Monday.

[Cuddlefish]

You can't suicide until you help me maximize my FAFSA money. So, there...

[Suu]

You can't suicide until you help me maximize my FAFSA money. So, there...

Uhhhh...We need to do that like NOW. State deadline is tomorrow if you want the measly $950 RI grant they give students.

[AFK]

It makes total sense that the last day of February falls on a Monday.

And it's going out like a wet snow leopard here. 

[LMNO]

I learned a new meteorlogical term this morning:  "Freezing Fog".

When the morning news sounds like Lovecraft, you're in New England.

[Phox]

 There was motherfucking tornado last night. At 3 in the fucking morning. And now? It's  a thunderstorm. Fuck yeah, February.

[AFK]

I learned a new meteorlogical term this morning:  "Freezing Fog".

When the morning news sounds like Lovecraft, you're in New England.

That's the fucking truth.  

Also:  Sounds like it could be the title of the next Stephen King novel:  The Freezing Fog of Fairfield, Maine. 

[LMNO]

WIFF MAJIKAL RETARDS!
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