Discourse 5: Sattire that made me cry.

[Trollax]

In Australia recently we've had these booklets going around, talking about how to "spot terrorism," "be alert but not alarmed" and all that. Recently I was reading a satire of this booklet, and the truth was so painful I cried.
I shall now quote a couple of passages from the satire:
(Taken from: The Chaser Volume 5 No. 3 Issue 68  21 Feb - 7 Mar 03)

Our community
Australians are a friendly, decent, democratic people, and we're going to stay that way. Our community embraces all people, languages and religions, except Islam. Now more than ever, it is important that we exclude and victimise Muslims in the likelihood that they're terrorists.
(Note in the photo how the Asian kid looks shifty and evil)

Possible signs of terrorism
* Unusual videotaping or photography of major buildings
Videotaping is one of the ways terrorists gather information about a target. If you ever see people trying to take photos of, say, the Sydney Opera House, ring the security hotline at once! Don't be fooled when they say they're just "tourists" that only confirms they're foreign.

Frequently Asked Questions

What if my children become concerned or anxious about terrorism?
* Talk with your children about what is happening. Explain to them that oil is more precious than blood. Encourage them to look for oil in backyard so they appreciate how rare it is. Then make them bleed so they realise how common that is.

In Case of an Emergency:
In case of an emergency, run screaming from the room like a girl. Preferably run screaming like an Aboriginal girl in a full-body latex suit with matching hood. This will ensure complete national support, mask social and economic inequality and make everyone else feel good about themselves. If you can run with a flame that would be even better.

Protecting Australia

Strengthened Defense Forces
* Additional highly trained counter-terrorist personnel in the SAS, all of whom are currently in the Gulf, leaving Australia to defend itself.

Increased Intelligence
* We will be importing intelligent people from Norway, Denmark, and Sweden to boost Australia's intelligence. They will assist in teaching people how to tie their shoelaces.

* Sending more of our own intelligence officers overseas will help increase the average intelligence of Australia.

The average level of awareness of most Australians is so low you have to dig for it. The learning curve in the general populace is so near to horizontal that you can play bowls on it.
October 2001: SAS practicing maneuvers over Sydney, to take down hijacked planes should the need arise. 10,000 people phoned 000 (that's Australia's equivalent of 911) The safest period in the history of flying was the week from September 12th to September 19th. Why? Because people we're so panicky and paranoid about flying that many people cancelled their travel plans and business trips. What's more the biggest target of a 9/11-style attack at that time was America (and possibly Israel) and US airspace was locked down for how long again? 48 hours maybe more? To everything except absolutely vital services.

I guarantee you the two main reasons that over 70% of Australians don't want a war in Iraq are these:
 War scary, I no like war.
 It's the government's fault, the western imperialists have brought this upon themselves they should wear it blah, blah, blah, blah etc?ñ

So we have the paranoid majority and the rabid minority bickering at cross-semantics and running in circles.
Anyone ever have the thought that 9/11, terrorism, Weapons of Mass Destruction, oil, UFO's, the Iraqi porn industry et al. Have nothing to do with this?

A little known fact is this:
One of the primary manufacturing industries in the United States is military hardware: bombs, mines, planes, tanks, humvees etc. Unless used, written-off or destroyed in a theatre of combat the government is responsible for the replacement of that equipment and you can only have so many live-fire exercises per year. Even then you can't really drop paveways on your own installations or use live ammo on your own troops (but time will tell now won't it?). Why do you think they plan to drop more bombs in the first 48 hours than in the entire previous gulf conflict?
Revenue!
That's the real reason there are 250,000 troops in the gulf because let's be honest if it was just oil they'd only have to take out Saddam and his sons and look-alikes, one of those supersize superfun megabang TNT bunker busters could do that. Whoever else they got put in could be a "democratically elected" puppet.
War generates Revenue for the US economy, because then suddenly it has reason to up it's standing orders from its private military contractors for tank shells, laser-guided, bombs, humvees and live ammo.
The boys at Pratt and Whitney then get all gooey over their new R&D budget for the new presidential Stealth Force One. The black-program budget gets a boost because America's Aggressive stance on Tyranny (That is: aggressive stance of tyranny) is going to upset people who despise freedom and democracy (i.e. are quite comfortable with their own liberties and freedom and Hate having western practices of cultural annihilation rammed down their throats).
The army recruitment drive goes up as more hotheaded, trigger-happy, xenophobic, homophobic, sexist, racist, theist, ageist simpletons only capable of either breathing or firing a gun, crawl out from their foxholes in state forests and sign up. Their mighty, patriotic chests swelling with blood and pride. (further proof that they're just walking penises).

In short War in Iraq is not the best solution it is the most economically viable solution. Because unless the stockpile of some half a million military grade munitions gets used (or sold to second and third-world countries in order to have a war with them 25 years down the track) America's economy starts to eat itself up from the inside out.

There you have it ladies and gents my digressional rant has exposed the fact that your friends, brothers, sisters, garden-variety nutbags, and friendly-neighborhood greyfaces are being sent to a potential death so that powerful western nations (and ass-kissing one's like Australia.) May launder their money in blood and keep the centerpiece of the world economy floating on top of the cesspit.

Why do you think I cried? It is a shocking truth to have brought to your front door and see it die in your arms. Why do I want my nation's flag to fly upside-down? Isn't it obvious? My nation is no longer a part of me, the pride I once found in my nation has been destroyed by lip-service for fairer trade practices from a nation whose leaders fancy themselves to be the Caesars of the modern era.
It is an insult to me and to Australians for my most likely fairly-elected leader to disregard the wishes of almost 3/4 of the population and commit troops to an invasion of a sovereign nation. Granted a nation that's run by a dictatorial head-case, who uses Joseph Stalin as a role-model but an invasion nonetheless. Weishaupt was wrong people, the ends do not justify the means, if they did it wouldn't feel like cutting your own wrists would it?
I have no nation, no flag, no leader, no government that speaks for me. I ask you why burn the flag, when you can turn your back on it and leave it to rot on the pole, decaying in its own hubris and filth?

~Seceding  Trollax~

[SMFabal]

Thoughts on America's History of (Starting a) War Tactics:

AMERICAN REVOLUTION:
Official Line: The American Revolution was kicked off when British Soldiers fired on Tax Protesters.
Truth: British Tax Collecters were so reviled and hated in Colonial America they could not travel alone even when off-duty. Americans kept pushing until some poor Brit snapped.

AMERICAN CIVIL WAR:
Official Line: The South (Confederate States) broke from the Union and declaired war on the North
Truth: The Southern States believed the Federal Government was taking too much power away from the States. When the Federal Army began "transfering troops" into stategic points along the Atlatic Coast (Taditionally manned by Southern Garrisons), certain groups of Southern Soldiers fired on National Army Supply ships. The North never declaired war; it also never acknowleged Southern Seccession.

WWII
Official Line: The Japanese Attacked Pearl Harbor without warning
Truth: The Japanese had been expanding towards Hawaii since the beginbing of the War. They also held a small portion of the Alluthian Islands in Alaska for most of the war. Whether there was military warning of the actual Pearl Harbor Attack, America SHOULD have been ready. Only the massive CIVILIAN casualties moved Americans to attack Japan.

VIETNAM
Official Line: We kept North Vietnam Contained, which was our ONLY Purpose
Truth: WE were shitting bricks about crossing into North Vietnam beacuse China said it would useNuclear Weapons if we did.

MORAL: THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT LIES TO YOU. Of course, EVERY government lies to you, so that's really not anything new.

As to WHY Dubbya was so damn GungHo about getting Saddam, It's because the Polls showed his popularity was dropping when he couldn't catch Osama Bin Laden. Sadam was an easy target for the good American Sheep to hate: He was Arabic (like Osama), he was a dictator (like Hitler), and everyone remembers how "high" gas prices were during Desert Storm(ALMOST $2.00 per Gallon).

[The Good Reverend Roger]

"Sattire".

I ask you.

[Freeky]

[Phox]

"Sattire".

I ask you.

Maybe he/she meant "satyr"?

[Freeky]

"Sattire".

I ask you.

Maybe he/she meant "satyr"?

"Okay, Lucy, can you tell us what happened when you were locked in the wardrobe?"

"Someone was in there with me, he said he was a satyr.  Then he touched me in a bad place."