Financial fuckery thread

[Junkenstein]

HEY CAIN:
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-04-20/bnp-banker-his-wife-and-nephew-murdered-belgium

How many fucking boxes does THAT tick?

[hirley0]

ad 54052 dw.DE OVER: Ff 2014 04/29  03:27  Oh A 7 what2say | Think SA?
easier said than done: ar.yesterday:} yeah:> SMF
in argintina or brazil {Maybe Columbia |{ WHAT ?

ad 54124 3 Ff http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stock_market_crash
My4cast4 sept 29 2014 is this YEAR

3 Ff 4/30 v 5/1 Hump v Thor My guess is the trend is down and non eventfull ad 54201
and again the update of the IMG of Wednesday wiLL be done later today SORRY >
Lo0kY it seams clear today the grim event May well be 2016
3 Ff54263 5/1->2 the Ans of course is WhiTch chart | the ans
Nflx THE qUEST why/who "the spike"
3 Ff 5/1->3 now enter travel back in time as 5/3 B4 5/2
the question to answer| what is my guess about chart \

[Junkenstein]

ha ha ha
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-27201985
ha ha ha

European banks will be expected to prove they can survive a 7% drop in GDP under new tougher stress tests unveiled by the regulator.

It says banks should also be able to withstand a 14% fall in house prices and up to a 19% drop in share prices under a worst-case scenario.

HA HA HA

Let's say that again with a straight face. The worst case scenario these people seem able to imagine is a 15% drop in house prices and 20% drop in share prices.
They could probably have done with a quick look at:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stock_market_crash

Hooded robes are to the right, kool-aid to the left. If you actually think this will prevent anything that is.

[P3nT4gR4m]

LOL - the guys in charge of economics have no concept of how economics works. The 21st century really is MY CENTURY 

[Junkenstein]

It's great isn't it?

Seriously, when someone asks me about "worst case situation" it's a lot fucking worse than a 15% drop. If you can't imagine worse than that then I'd suggest you need to get the fuck out because you can't count to 16.

[P3nT4gR4m]

You know how they say "power corrupts"? Well that's true, but not in the sense that's usually ascribed. Power does not corrupt moral integrity - it corrupts neural pathways in the brain meat - the most powerful are the most incapable of any form of rational thought.

It's so retarded, it's approaching genius!

[Reginald Ret]

There are two ways to respond to power:
- Consider yourself responsible for everything that happens to that which you have power over.
- Don't give a fuck and watch it all burn while you laugh maniacally.

Let's say half of the powerful people takes path one and the other half takes path two.
The ability to control the effects of your power is inversely proportional to the amount of power.
This leads to stress, and as we know stress makes people stupid, tired, prone to snap-judgements, and eventually burnt out, insane or dead.

The Path One leaders dominate the positions of above average but still low power. This is because of two reasons: They die more often when put in higher positions and they are not as good at functioning or pretending to function in higher positions.
The Path Two leaders are immune to this type of stress, so they dominate the positions of high power.

[hirley0]

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[LMNO]

Check it out: SEC audits show 50% of private equity firms are stealing from their clients.

These results were unveiled last week when Andrew Bowden, the director of the SEC's examinations office, gave a speech titled "Spreading Sunshine in Private Equity." The big takeaway: Half of the SEC's exams find corruption in the way fees and expenses are handled. Or as Bowden forcefully describes it: "When we have examined how fees and expenses are handled by advisers to private equity funds, we have identified what we believe are violations of law or material weaknesses in controls over 50 percent of the time."

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Check it out: SEC audits show 50% of private equity firms are stealing from their clients.

These results were unveiled last week when Andrew Bowden, the director of the SEC's examinations office, gave a speech titled "Spreading Sunshine in Private Equity." The big takeaway: Half of the SEC's exams find corruption in the way fees and expenses are handled. Or as Bowden forcefully describes it: "When we have examined how fees and expenses are handled by advisers to private equity funds, we have identified what we believe are violations of law or material weaknesses in controls over 50 percent of the time."

Nice find.

CAVEAT EMPTOR!
   \

[hirley0]

NFLX instead NvS

VIPS


http://chart.finance.yahoo.com/z?s=VIPS&t=5d&q=c&l=on&z=l&a=r14&lang=en-US&region=US
http://chart.finance.yahoo.com/z?s=VIPS&t=3m&q=c&l=on&z=l&a=w14&lang=en-US&region=US
http://chart.finance.yahoo.com/z?s=VIPS&t=6m&q=c&l=on&z=l&a=ss&lang=en-US&region=US
http://chart.finance.yahoo.com/z?s=VIPS&t=6m&q=c&l=on&z=l&c=CDE&p=b&a=fs&lang=en-US&region=US
http://chart.finance.yahoo.com/z?s=VIPS&t=2y&q=c&l=on&z=l&a=m26-12-9&lang=en-US&region=US

http://finance.yahoo.com/q/ta?s=VIPS&t=5d&l=on&z=l&q=c&p=&a=r14&c=
http://finance.yahoo.com/q/ta?s=VIPS&t=3m&l=on&z=l&q=c&p=&a=w14&c=
http://finance.yahoo.com/q/ta?s=VIPS&t=6m&l=on&z=l&q=c&p=&a=ss&c=
http://finance.yahoo.com/q/ta?t=6m&s=VIPS&l=on&z=l&q=c&p=b&a=fs&c=CDE&ql=1
http://finance.yahoo.com/q/ta?s=VIPS&t=2y&l=on&z=l&q=c&p=&a=m26-12-9&c=


http://www.quotemedia.com/finance/quote/
VIPS CHART | Option's | 155.00 Call

[hirley0]

http://www.quotemedia.com/finance/quote/?qm_page=68964&qm_symbol=NFLX 405m1
RSI              IMG                  NFLX  VIPS                

1d 5d 3mW 6mS 2YrMc   |    34F.SAm6vI:    MX5dI    MX6mS:I

[Junkenstein]

Stop press, shock horror, etc, etc,

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-27662623

The prices in forex are set by traders who are doing the deals. Traders are able to pick a selection of the trades they have been asked to execute, meaning they can choose those most advantageous to their bank. The prices are set at the 4pm "fix", a daily City benchmark against which currencies are priced. I have written a short "How It Works" at the end of this blog on the allegation that forex is manipulated.

Regulators around the world including the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) in London and the US Department of Justice are investigating allegations of forex manipulation. It has been reported that at least 15 banks are involved and nine are thought to have suspended or fired traders. No allegations have been proved and no admissions of fault made.

Martin Wheatley, the head of the FCA, said the allegations, if substantiated, could be "every bit as bad as Libor", referring to the revelations three years ago that the market which governs how banks lend to each other was regularly fixed.

So I'm sure we'll all be stunned to learn that people have been fucking about with the money markets every bit as much as everything else.

[Junkenstein]

What's one of the other leading articles today? A stroke job for premium bonds.

If you're not familiar with this particular scam, don't bother. It's rather dull and is basically playing the lottery with worse odds for a smaller payout. You don't need to buy a ticket though so it's totally a good deal.

It's also a nice place to stash cash which is the only logical reason you'd shove 30 grand into this nonsense.

[Junkenstein]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-27676000

France's foreign minister has criticised a potential $10bn (£6bn; 7.3bn euros) fine for banking giant BNP Paribas as "not reasonable".

Media reports have suggested the bank might have to pay the fine over allegations it broke trade sanctions against Sudan, Iran and Cuba.

"The fine has to be proportionate and reasonable. These figures are not reasonable," Laurent Fabius said.

The US Justice Department is currently looking into the claims.

Mr Fabius said on the France 2 television channel that if the fine was imposed it would be "an extremely serious problem".

He added it would be an example of an "unfair and unilateral decision".

His warning comes just two days ahead of Barack Obama's visit to France, where the US President is set to hold bilateral talks with French President Francois Hollande.

Mr Fabius said that if a fine of the reported scale was imposed, it would hit BNP Paribas' funds and result in fewer loans for French businesses.

"It's an extremely serious question that the Americans must handle in a spirit of partnership and not unilaterally," he added.

When you've stopped laughing, think about some of the other fines issued to banks of late. HSBC faced nowhere near this for extensive money laundering. I can't help think that it's Iran and Cuba being involved here that's escalated how seriously the USA have decided to deal with it.