What the Fuck is Wrong with Walking?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I like to save driving my car for special occasions. I'm going to drive to the grocery store for dog food in a little while.

[Corvidia]

Don't walk across the fucking parking lot to get to another store. It's seriously three hundred feet. Use your car!
Don't make your kid walk everywhere and then wonder why s/he assumes you hate America.
Don't walk a mile you could have driven and then whine about nobody respecting you. That shit is bad for the economy and if you're trying to be a good American--DRIVE!
Don't walk that little distance, save money, and then bitch about the state of the economy and how it's keeping you from getting a full-time job!
Don't prepare your own meals. Turn on the engine and go through the drive through to get your triple-decker cheese burger with extra cheese or your white mocha!

I know driving requires you to work half an hour to an hour more than you would if you walked, but seriously, do it. I am so sick of listening to people bitch and moan about this shit. "Oh my god!" -puff- "I'm so fat!" -puff- "I need money to" -puff- "go to the gym!" or "Working is so hard! I have to, like, go to the office five times a week!"
You drive a gas saving Prius. You hardly ever drive it *anywhere.* You walk unless it's 50 miles or more. And you're fat and whiny and I have to listen to you complain about having to work, the economy and being fat. Shut up and DO something about it!

Or kill me.

fixed.

[Penumbral]

I took the OP as a strawman, so I responded in kind.

The OP DID take dramatic licence with it's depiction of stereotypical behavior.  Give this a script, and cast of characters with Everyman in a Ford Escort, and it would STILL have a good underlying point, IMHO.

My edition is much more of:
You don't need to go to the other store.
You don't need kid.
Walk a mile in any direction, preferably one you haven't been in, or stay home.
Don't bitch.
Don't tell me what to fucking eat you hippy bastard!

Breath in the good energy out the bad, and stop waisting your energy on this menial shit.

[potato]

My edition is much more of:
You don't need to go to the other store.
You don't need kid.
Walk a mile in any direction, preferably one you haven't been in, or stay home.
Don't bitch.
Don't tell me what to fucking eat you hippy bastard!

Breath in the good energy out the bad, and stop waisting your energy on this menial shit.

what do you mean, you don't need kid?

[Penumbral]

seriously?

[potato]

seriously?

were you just rephrasing the OP? I feel like I missed something.

"Don't drive drive your kid everywhere and then wonder why s/he expects you to be a chauffeur." doesn't have the same meaning as "You don't need kid." so clarification on wtf you mean would be nice.

[Corvidia]

seriously?

were you just rephrasing the OP? I feel like I missed something.

"Don't drive drive your kid everywhere and then wonder why s/he expects you to be a chauffeur." doesn't have the same meaning as "You don't need kid." so clarification on wtf you mean would be nice.

He's not rephrasing my post, he's saying that in his version.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

seriously?

were you just rephrasing the OP? I feel like I missed something.

"Don't drive drive your kid everywhere and then wonder why s/he expects you to be a chauffeur." doesn't have the same meaning as "You don't need kid." so clarification on wtf you mean would be nice.

Maybe he thinks small children should just be left at home alone. Or maybe he thinks people shouldn't have children.

Unless/until he clarifies, I suggest we come to the worst possible conclusion, and flame the shit out of him for it!

[Penumbral]

Unless/until he clarifies, I suggest we come to the worst possible conclusion, and flame the shit out of him for it!

Small childeren should be driveing around unsuprevised in malls, eating fast food, while texting, on fire.

Even when they don't need anything at the mall.

seriously?

were you just rephrasing the OP? I feel like I missed something.

"Don't drive drive your kid everywhere and then wonder why s/he expects you to be a chauffeur." doesn't have the same meaning as "You don't need kid." so clarification on wtf you mean would be nice.

Sorry I thought you where being anal about syntax.

I forgot an s.

"you don't need kids."

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

"you don't need kids."

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Unless/until he clarifies, I suggest we come to the worst possible conclusion, and flame the shit out of him for it!

Small childeren should be driveing around unsuprevised in malls, eating fast food, while texting, on fire.

Even when they don't need anything at the mall.

seriously?

were you just rephrasing the OP? I feel like I missed something.

"Don't drive drive your kid everywhere and then wonder why s/he expects you to be a chauffeur." doesn't have the same meaning as "You don't need kid." so clarification on wtf you mean would be nice.

Sorry I thought you where being anal about syntax.

I forgot an s.

"you don't need kids."

Your mom didn't need kids.

[potato]

seriously?

were you just rephrasing the OP? I feel like I missed something.

"Don't drive drive your kid everywhere and then wonder why s/he expects you to be a chauffeur." doesn't have the same meaning as "You don't need kid." so clarification on wtf you mean would be nice.

Maybe he thinks small children should just be left at home alone. Or maybe he thinks people shouldn't have children.

Unless/until he clarifies, I suggest we come to the worst possible conclusion, and flame the shit out of him for it!

see, that's the conclusion I came to. since I have kids, should I cease to "need" them? send the little one out to walk to school 2 miles away so I can get all righteous about not driving? what? don't need her, so yeah, I'm gonna leave her at home by herself while I spend 4 hours on my bike doing the things I need to because she needs me, right? or maybe I can get a time machine and go back to that fateful moment before I got pregnant because clearly I didn't think this through.

[potato]

Sorry I thought you where being anal about syntax.

I forgot an s.

"you don't need kids."

I'm only anal about syntax when the syntax error amuses me. I inferred the absent s without a problem. the problem was in understanding your point.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Unless/until he clarifies, I suggest we come to the worst possible conclusion, and flame the shit out of him for it!

Small childeren should be driveing around unsuprevised in malls, eating fast food, while texting, on fire.

Even when they don't need anything at the mall.

seriously?

were you just rephrasing the OP? I feel like I missed something.

"Don't drive drive your kid everywhere and then wonder why s/he expects you to be a chauffeur." doesn't have the same meaning as "You don't need kid." so clarification on wtf you mean would be nice.

Sorry I thought you where being anal about syntax.

I forgot an s.

"you don't need kids."

[Penumbral]

Your mom didn't need kids.

No disagreement. She did however and was rather responsible with the ones she had and I am thankful for that. However it still would ahve been badass to drive a car on fire through a mall at the age of seven, but alas not to be fate.

seriously?

were you just rephrasing the OP? I feel like I missed something.

"Don't drive drive your kid everywhere and then wonder why s/he expects you to be a chauffeur." doesn't have the same meaning as "You don't need kid." so clarification on wtf you mean would be nice.

Maybe he thinks small children should just be left at home alone. Or maybe he thinks people shouldn't have children.

Unless/until he clarifies, I suggest we come to the worst possible conclusion, and flame the shit out of him for it!

see, that's the conclusion I came to. since I have kids, should I cease to "need" them? send the little one out to walk to school 2 miles away so I can get all righteous about not driving? what? don't need her, so yeah, I'm gonna leave her at home by herself while I spend 4 hours on my bike doing the things I need to because she needs me, right? or maybe I can get a time machine and go back to that fateful moment before I got pregnant because clearly I didn't think this through.

 

Clearly my inability to make my satirical prose completely coherent has once again gotten me in hot water. You didn't need kids, and really you still don't. Instead of the ludicrous options you provided for not needing the kids you have I would recommend traveling to one of those nice hospitals where they will take the kids no questions asked (yes up to 17). That is of course Only if you felt so inclined.

Me saying you don't need kid(s) was meant only to point out the nature of need that seems to somehow be synonyms with should today. Fuck that. Have kids if you like.

The point of my edition was to counteract the OP's passion for do/don't. My point is that in such matter as cars and travel we all have a choice. We don't have to do it one way or another, and if you look back the only part of that writing I took any side, at all, was when it was a matter of someone telling me exactly what not to do. As if they are the words of some fast food hating prophet. I do not eat fast food, but I choose not to and I relish in that choice and I see no need to take it away from others.


If I was going to try and take a similar approach as the OP I would have said:
Don't work a job at a mall, and whine when you have to deal with the type of people who go to the mall.

I have no idea what this means.