Divided and Conquered

[tyrannosaurus vex]

So there's this guy named Jack who lives on my street, a few houses down from me. His yard is immaculate, his house is repainted at least once every five years (always stark white with dull blue trim), and there's an enormous yellow truck in his driveway that sits about four feet off the ground on monster-truck tires, each roughly comprising the mass of two average African elephants. There is a wooden fence about seven feet tall and about ten or so feet wide filling the gap between the side of his house and the edge of his lot. On this fence is a sign, white with red and blue lettering, which reads "OBAMA" across the top, and running down from each letter are the words, "One Big Ass Mistake America," with a little American flag clumsily painted on at the bottom.

Jack doesn't trust the Government. He believes that the Government has become more than it was supposed to be, expanded beyond its rightful boundaries, and is, like a greasy salesman, obsessed with creating problems just so it can solve them -- and in the process, getting in the way of too many things Jack would like to do. Jack is convinced that any day now, some Democrat is going to order the Army to invade his house and take his children or something, so Jack stocks up on guns and ammo, complains about restrictions on his ability to stock up on other more dangerous things, and blames every problem he can think of on his political enemies, the "Liberals."

I think Jack is an asshole. I wonder when people like him are going to wake up and get with the times. I mean, the guy is a cultural Neanderthal. Eventually, guys like him are going to die out and leave civilization to the civilized. I think people like Jack are the problem. The Government is full of them, and who knows when they're going to make their move.

I don't trust the Government. I think the Government has become more than it was supposed to be, expanded beyond its rightful boundaries, and is, like a greasy salesman, obsessed with creating problems just so it can solve them -- and in the process, getting in the way of too many things I'd like to do. One of these days, some right-winger is going to get too much power and start enforcing his worldview on us with guns. I'm pretty sure that most of the problems we have in this country nowadays can be directly attributed to the failed policies of Conservatives.

I just wish there were more people nearby who could relate to that.

[Cramulus]

Just goes to show--


what fucks up every good democracy?


We, the People.

[LMNO]

I like how you did that in the first person, with a minimum amount of irony.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Excellent piece! Shit.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

[Richter]

Nicely done!

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Nice!  I like it! 

[Corvidia]

Vex, you're talking about my entire county, right down to the bro trucks.

Agreed as well.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Really cool!

[leonard koan]

i think blaming conservatism is just as naive as blaming liberalism, or even for that matter blaming government in and of itself.

I think the closest you got to a coherent statement is "people like jack are the problem". are you like jack?

[tyrannosaurus vex]

i think blaming conservatism is just as naive as blaming liberalism, or even for that matter blaming government in and of itself.

I think the closest you got to a coherent statement is "people like jack are the problem". are you like jack?

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

i think blaming conservatism is just as naive as blaming liberalism, or even for that matter blaming government in and of itself.

I think the closest you got to a coherent statement is "people like jack are the problem". are you like jack?

[hooplala]

i think blaming conservatism is just as naive as blaming liberalism, or even for that matter blaming government in and of itself.

I think the closest you got to a coherent statement is "people like jack are the problem". are you like jack?

You failed to notice that the penultimate paragraph was almost word-for-word identical to the second paragraph?  And if you did notice that, it didn't mean anything to you?

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

i think blaming conservatism is just as naive as blaming liberalism, or even for that matter blaming government in and of itself.

I think the closest you got to a coherent statement is "people like jack are the problem". are you like jack?

You failed to notice that the penultimate paragraph was almost word-for-word identical to the second paragraph?  And if you did notice that, it didn't mean anything to you?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

i think blaming conservatism is just as naive as blaming liberalism, or even for that matter blaming government in and of itself.

I think the closest you got to a coherent statement is "people like jack are the problem". are you like jack?

For fuck sake, read it again, only this time pay attention.