To the doom

[Sepia]

"Reason is treason."
         - -  Olaus Wormius, preface to Unaussprechlichen Kulten


He left again, a life that was dead, something diseased fell off along the way and he felt like a butterfly. Time was annihilating who we were, what we thought. We'd forgotten so long ago, we'd forgotten the day they began mourning it, we'd forgotten that all of it ended while we were still watching. People in saris were walking by and singing in a language we couldn't really comprehend. It was rhytmic, it was wonderful. We were hearing the beauty, the vibrating joy within those words, something primal recognizable in it, we didn't understand but we saw it.

Like we saw the radiating sun bathe the city, watching a birth happening, watching everything falling into place, the jigsaw we began picking at with our toddler's hands. We're slow on the uptake, the people have climbed the mountain earlier, they have stood upon the peak to which we climb. They have seen what we will see and they have filled tomes with it, they have produced laws and they have made the world a different place, they have filled us like the vials we are with the salty water we're all made up of, from where we came is where we're heading. We were always best with tracks, with systems. We were best when we had the law, we were always best when we were chained.

It was us and them. There were no other people here, there were no other shades of gray, no other shades of black and we saw the white every day. We needed that war like we need every war like we need a reason to get up from bed, like we've always needed a reason to put on the coffee and take a shower before we go out into the rain, seeing life in a form that allows to accept the sadness reaching upon us, to love the darkness falling twixt the buildings and as it felt like we were walking to our doom it felt like everyone else was walking to theirs also.

It's grown dark outside but there are still lights on inside. There are sounds of lamps switching, dividing the circuits, dividing the world between us. We see the darkness and we are reminded of the old fears, we're reminded of the old battles, when the werewolves roamed in the night, the trolls and the sasquatches, their demented feet moving slowly, as if their shoes were made of broken glass. We are reminded of the safety we found the first time we erected the Fourth Wall of our home and we sit down, we're marlon brando too old in this flick, we're seeing the world imploding, we're feeling it exploding, we're seeing the wrong things, we're seeing the faces of those which we didn't really hope to see, we're down here, restricting ourselves, collecting straps of leather and parts from the chainmails of those killed in battle, standing kneedeep in water, punishing ourselves in a fashion that would make Masoch feel at home.

The ashtrays are piling and we're still talking. Dirt cheap red wine is what keeps us going, what keeps us moving. There was never a need for the amarone this night for we need nothing when we tell the truth. It is when we lie between our teeth that we fill the world with delicacies and wonders. It is then we adorn the world, when we make buildings, paintings, books and science. Religion. Everything we dress this world up in, we lie.

Some call it a lie, others call it a truth. Some call it a white lie, others a harsh truth. It is that which strips us of us, leaving only the singular mind, caught in obsession and emotions, void of intellect, logic and reason.
We return to the grave of primordial soup, the end is still the beginning folks, sorry about that and the above is still the same shit as the below. Nothing changes and time ain't linear but we began somewhere. We began here. That was god. The sea. The ocean, the place where we came from. A virus, evolving into the dreams of sentience. Infecting and spreading, touching everything.

As they were touched by god.

We could have thought it through some of you might think as you revise history, we should have spent some extra time, understanding the seriousness of the situation but we're still here. We're still here doing the same things now as then. The mechanisms of the enlightened king or the old dictator still lives with us. We have seen them many times and we have seen and see the them every day, the theocracy
the democracy
the technocracy
the religion
the EXIT manifesto

He's sitting somewhere now. Old Man Koestler. While Orwell tried to find the emotional part of the soul and Huxley found the practicalities of technology and the weakness of our beings, Koestler saw us and wrote us down. Distilled us into a scene where the royalist talks to the communist about tits.

White like milk and red as the rose in late spring, fitting into a champagne glass.

[Penumbral]

I appreciate this.

I have been reading Albert Camus lately, he talked about the absurdity of life. How it had no knowable meaning beyond its just life and what happens happens.

We needed that war like we need every war like we need a reason to get up from bed, like we've always needed a reason to put on the coffee and take a shower before we go out into the rain, seeing life in a form that allows to accept the sadness reaching upon us, to love the darkness falling twixt the buildings and as it felt like we were walking to our doom it felt like everyone else was walking to theirs also.

One thing he went on at length about was suicide; when he explained life has no meaning he found that people assumed they should just kill themselves. He responded that living simply for beauty and enjoyment should be enough.

Why do we need a reason to get up in the morning?

They have seen what we will see and they have filled tomes with it, they have produced laws and they have made the world a different place,

This is my favorite line, but the world was a different place half a decade ago, and it will be in a half decade. Will we have anything to do with this? If we fill tomes, and write laws shouldn't we be able to do it better, since we have seen what others have tried, and what works.

[Sepia]

They have seen what we will see and they have filled tomes with it, they have produced laws and they have made the world a different place,

This is my favorite line, but the world was a different place half a decade ago, and it will be in a half decade. Will we have anything to do with this? If we fill tomes, and write laws shouldn't we be able to do it better, since we have seen what others have tried, and what works.

That was intended as something that we can't change because we don't really see it. We see it in history because the people that shaped that period are dead or old. Their lives can be scrutinized but yes, of course, by living your life in a way that either means something or just gets into the history books but I believe more in option two than one. The system, the law and the library of babel are just the things that occur as we live.

[Honey]

Like we saw the radiating sun bathe the city, watching a birth happening, watching everything falling into place, the jigsaw we began picking at with our toddler's hands. We're slow on the uptake, the people have climbed the mountain earlier, they have stood upon the peak to which we climb. They have seen what we will see and they have filled tomes with it, they have produced laws and they have made the world a different place, they have filled us like the vials we are with the salty water we're all made up of, from where we came is where we're heading. We were always best with tracks, with systems. We were best when we had the law, we were always best when we were chained.

I really like this whole piece.  & there is something about that line?  I read it more than once.  I read it as tombs even when I knew it said tomes.  Your writing always seems to hit me where it hurts.  I still don't know how you do that?  & I hope you never stop.  Thanks & respect.    

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Fuck yes.