Love does not have to be a form of slavery...

[Error]

When one delves into the subject of love you can be sure to step on peoples toes, hopefully enough that the pain makes them open their eyes a little.

Why is it the rule, the social you-have-to, that a person can only be in love with one person.  What is so horribly wrong with loving multiple people?

I heard that, that thought that just went through your head, you were thinking about sex.  Did I say anything about sex?  I asked why it was so wrong to LOVE more than one person not have sex with more than one person.  Do you assume that those two words are synonymous.  There is the problem.  Why must we connect an emotion that can be so pure and amazing with a physical act that is so bound to our primitive territorial instincts?  Confusing love and sex turns those who we most cherish into a piece of property that we must defend and hoard for only ourselves. 

If your significant other told you that they just couldn't stop thinking about screwing someone else...that it was just eating away at them...would you assume that they didn't love you anymore?  Long-lived marriages have ended over such honesty.  What does fullfilling a bodily urge have to do with the emotional attachment you have with a person you love?

I have never had an affair.  So far as I know no one I've been in a relationship has had an affair while I was with them.  I can't say that I would care much at this point if they did.  It has nothing to do with their feelings for me.  It just means that as a homo sapiens they have hormones and that they react to pheromones.  I was once in a room with two females whose pheromone output was off the charts and a pregnant woman, again pheromones off the charts.  My instinct told me to take them all sexually and then have a huge feast of raw meat.  This did not mean that I loved them. 

The idea of free love was utterly destroyed by horny young men.  They said "free love" but what they were really asking for was "free sit-on-my-penis".  I believe in free love.  I believe that you can love someone without owning them or even wanting to own them.  I love many people.  I love them not like a friend.  I truly love them.  Many of them I would not have sex with, they just aren't my physical type.  Almost all of them would not have sex with me.  You see, though, that's not the point.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Cute.

[Corvidia]

Bit behind on this issue.

    * Agapē (αγάπη agápē) means "love" in modern day Greek, such as in the term s'agapo (Σ'αγαπώ), which means"I love you". In Ancient Greek it often refers to a general affection rather than the attraction suggested by "eros"; agape is used in ancient texts to denote feelings for a good meal, one's children, and the feelings for a spouse. It can be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard.

    * Eros (love) (ερως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "(romantic) love". However, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia love of friendship. It can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage. Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. It should be noted Plato does not talk of physical attraction as a necessary part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean, "without physical attraction". Plato also said eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. The most famous ancient work on the subject of eros is Plato's Symposium, which is a discussion among the students of Socrates on the nature of eros.

    * Philia (φιλία philia), which means friendship in modern Greek, a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philos denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers.

    * Storge (στοργή storgē) means "affection" in ancient and modern Greek; it is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. It is also known to express mere acceptance or putting up with situations - as in "loving" the tyrant.

[Pope Lecherous]

When one delves into the subject of love you can be sure to step on peoples toes, hopefully enough that the pain makes them open their eyes a little.

Why is it the rule, the social you-have-to, that a person can only be in love with one person.  What is so horribly wrong with loving multiple people?

I heard that, that thought that just went through your head, you were thinking about sex.  Did I say anything about sex?  I asked why it was so wrong to LOVE more than one person not have sex with more than one person.  Do you assume that those two words are synonymous.  There is the problem.  Why must we connect an emotion that can be so pure and amazing with a physical act that is so bound to our primitive territorial instincts?  Confusing love and sex turns those who we most cherish into a piece of property that we must defend and hoard for only ourselves. 

If your significant other told you that they just couldn't stop thinking about screwing someone else...that it was just eating away at them...would you assume that they didn't love you anymore?  Long-lived marriages have ended over such honesty.  What does fullfilling a bodily urge have to do with the emotional attachment you have with a person you love?

I have never had an affair.  So far as I know no one I've been in a relationship has had an affair while I was with them.  I can't say that I would care much at this point if they did.  It has nothing to do with their feelings for me.  It just means that as a homo sapiens they have hormones and that they react to pheromones.  I was once in a room with two females whose pheromone output was off the charts and a pregnant woman, again pheromones off the charts.  My instinct told me to take them all sexually and then have a huge feast of raw meat.  This did not mean that I loved them. 

The idea of free love was utterly destroyed by horny young men.  They said "free love" but what they were really asking for was "free sit-on-my-penis".  I believe in free love.  I believe that you can love someone without owning them or even wanting to own them.  I love many people.  I love them not like a friend.  I truly love them.  Many of them I would not have sex with, they just aren't my physical type.  Almost all of them would not have sex with me.  You see, though, that's not the point.

Find a woman who shares your point of view.  Or would it be too much for you to handle if "your" gf was fucking other people?  It sounds like someone is giving you an ultimatum or would if your ideas were known to them.  This person is important to you obviously.  Fuck ten other women, that may give you perspective...  a place from which you can make logical decisions... Maybe show you that you can have what you want, whilst not causing heartache to a person you care about.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Read The Ethical Slut or whatever

Yadda yadda

[Corvidia]

I don't think that's exactly what he meant, Lech.

However, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia love of friendship.

Simon's just a wee bit ignorant of certain Greek ideas, is all.

[Pope Lecherous]

I don't think that's exactly what he meant, Lech.

However, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia love of friendship.

Simon's just a wee bit ignorant of certain Greek ideas, is all.

some people can't overcome jealousy and that's fine.  He shouldn't have to choose between people he loves.  It would be like choosing between family.

To the OP
You dont have to being anyone's empathy bag or emotion receptacle unless it pleases you to do so.  I dont know the extent of your needs but they are probably not that far out there.  Dont settle

[Kai]

I don't think that's exactly what he meant, Lech.

However, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia love of friendship.

Simon's just a wee bit ignorant of certain Greek ideas, is all.

Yeah, I identify with that. Platonic eros. works great for me.

[P3nT4gR4m]

I don't think that's exactly what he meant, Lech.

However, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia love of friendship.

Simon's just a wee bit ignorant of certain Greek ideas, is all.

some people can't overcome jealousy and that's fine.  He shouldn't have to choose between people he loves.  It would be like choosing between family.

To the OP
You dont have to being anyone's empathy bag or emotion receptacle unless it pleases you to do so.  I dont know the extent of your needs but they are probably not that far out there.  Dont settle

The secret of true love

[The Good Reverend Roger]

When one delves into the subject of love you can be sure to step on peoples toes, hopefully enough that the pain makes them open their eyes a little.

Why is it the rule, the social you-have-to, that a person can only be in love with one person.  What is so horribly wrong with loving multiple people?

I heard that, that thought that just went through your head, you were thinking about sex.  Did I say anything about sex?  I asked why it was so wrong to LOVE more than one person not have sex with more than one person.  Do you assume that those two words are synonymous.  There is the problem.  Why must we connect an emotion that can be so pure and amazing with a physical act that is so bound to our primitive territorial instincts?  Confusing love and sex turns those who we most cherish into a piece of property that we must defend and hoard for only ourselves. 

If your significant other told you that they just couldn't stop thinking about screwing someone else...that it was just eating away at them...would you assume that they didn't love you anymore?  Long-lived marriages have ended over such honesty.  What does fullfilling a bodily urge have to do with the emotional attachment you have with a person you love?

I have never had an affair.  So far as I know no one I've been in a relationship has had an affair while I was with them.  I can't say that I would care much at this point if they did.  It has nothing to do with their feelings for me.  It just means that as a homo sapiens they have hormones and that they react to pheromones.  I was once in a room with two females whose pheromone output was off the charts and a pregnant woman, again pheromones off the charts.  My instinct told me to take them all sexually and then have a huge feast of raw meat.  This did not mean that I loved them. 

The idea of free love was utterly destroyed by horny young men.  They said "free love" but what they were really asking for was "free sit-on-my-penis".  I believe in free love.  I believe that you can love someone without owning them or even wanting to own them.  I love many people.  I love them not like a friend.  I truly love them.  Many of them I would not have sex with, they just aren't my physical type.  Almost all of them would not have sex with me.  You see, though, that's not the point.

I haven't shat in 28 hours.

This may have helped.

[Error]

Thank you for my intro to Greek lesson.  I feel the need to try and learn more now.  Are they more exacting in their definitions of terms than the English language in most cases or just in words that tend to come out in subjects like philosophy?  The word love is almost meaningless in English.  I can love the taste of an apple or I can love someone so deeply that I would rather let them go than to see them enslave themselves to me.  I can love vanilla ice cream (I'm a food addict, damnit) or I can love a deity, Hail Eris. 

[Golden Applesauce]

Thank you for my intro to Greek lesson.  I feel the need to try and learn more now.  Are they more exacting in their definitions of terms than the English language in most cases or just in words that tend to come out in subjects like philosophy?  The word love is almost meaningless in English.  I can love the taste of an apple or I can love someone so deeply that I would rather let them go than to see them enslave themselves to me.  I can love vanilla ice cream (I'm a food addict, damnit) or I can love a deity, Hail Eris. 

I never studied Greek beyond learning how to say the names of their letters (did you know that mathematicians pronounce the letter phi as "fee" instead of "fie" ?) or Latin beyond the level of translation rather than reading, but I see no reason to believe that Greeks (outside people like philosophers) used words for love and affection in a technical sense.  Certainly more specific than English, since they had more words for love than we do - we only really differentiate between "like" and "love" in one-word categories.

Personally, I'm of the opinion that defining your terms, especially terms like "love" (which as you pointed out is almost essentially meaningless today) is a great way to prevent people from reading exactly the wrong thing into what you wrote.

[Pope Lecherous]

Thank you for my intro to Greek lesson.  I feel the need to try and learn more now.  Are they more exacting in their definitions of terms than the English language in most cases or just in words that tend to come out in subjects like philosophy?  The word love is almost meaningless in English.  I can love the taste of an apple or I can love someone so deeply that I would rather let them go than to see them enslave themselves to me.  I can love vanilla ice cream (I'm a food addict, damnit) or I can love a deity, Hail Eris. 

Greek terms and concepts may be a mechanism for you to more easily express your ideas to another person, but you don't need it to justify your feelings, actions or needs as a man.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Thank you for my intro to Greek lesson.  I feel the need to try and learn more now.  Are they more exacting in their definitions of terms than the English language in most cases or just in words that tend to come out in subjects like philosophy?  The word love is almost meaningless in English.  I can love the taste of an apple or I can love someone so deeply that I would rather let them go than to see them enslave themselves to me.  I can love vanilla ice cream (I'm a food addict, damnit) or I can love a deity, Hail Eris. 

Greek terms and concepts may be a mechanism for you to more easily express your ideas to another person, but you don't need it to justify your feelings, actions or needs as a man.

That's what beer is for

[Honey]

Thank you for my intro to Greek lesson.  I feel the need to try and learn more now.  Are they more exacting in their definitions of terms than the English language in most cases or just in words that tend to come out in subjects like philosophy?  The word love is almost meaningless in English.  I can love the taste of an apple or I can love someone so deeply that I would rather let them go than to see them enslave themselves to me.  I can love vanilla ice cream (I'm a food addict, damnit) or I can love a deity, Hail Eris. 

You might want to take a look at The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm, he tackles some of the questions about the different types of love in a pretty straightforward way, speaks of brotherly love, motherly love, erotic love, self-love, & love of God, including the words forming the roots.

Respect is not fear & awe: it denotes, in accordance with the root of the word (respicere = to look at), the ability to see a person as he is, to be aware of his unique individuality.  Respect means the concern that the other person should grow & unfold as he is.  Respect, thus, implies the absence of exploitation.  ...  Respect exists only on the basis of freedom: "l'amour est l'enfant de la liberte" as an old French song says; love is the child of freedom, never that of domination.
from -The Art of Loving

I used to go to this one Greek restaurant quite often during the week & got to be friendly with the people who worked there.  As is my way, I asked them about how to say a few phrases in Greek, like hi, how are you? thanks, goodbye, & like that.  This one guy told me how to say thanks, so I would say that.  When I went to this other Greek place – I found I was saying "I love you" (phonetically it was see agapo) instead of "thank you"!  I shoulda known better!  I still say that though 'cuz I think it makes sense to tell the people who are feeding you that you love them.

This too, I like from the beginning of the book:

He who knows nothing, loves nothing.  He who can do nothing understands nothing.  He who understands nothing is worthless.  But he who understands also loves, notices, sees. ...  The more knowledge is inherent in a thing, the greater the love. ... 

Anyone who imagines that all fruits ripen at the same time as the strawberries knows nothing about grapes.
- Paracelsus