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THE INEVITABLE SWINE FLU THREAD: How bad is it where YOU are?

Started by tyrannosaurus vex, April 27, 2009, 03:38:04 PM

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Iason Ouabache

#60
April 28, 2009, 04:55:17 AM
Quote from: Nasturtiums on April 28, 2009, 12:53:37 AM

Don't worry, he's not really dying.

He's just hamming it up.
:argh!:
Quote from: vexati0n on April 28, 2009, 12:56:19 AM
Edgar Allen Poe.

edit: I know there's a better joke here somewhere, I'm just too tired to take advantage of the opportunity.
I'm sorry, the correct answer we were looking for is O. Henry.
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
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UncannyValleyGirl

#61
April 28, 2009, 07:52:01 AM
Quote from: LMNO on April 27, 2009, 08:34:04 PM


*hides from EVERYONE*
Don't even consider it.
:argh!:
Don't believe anyone believes everything they think.

Rumckle

#62
April 28, 2009, 08:47:51 AM
Quote from: Jenne on April 28, 2009, 03:15:49 AM
My husband said they had to spend $$ in porking up their precautions stock today in prep for the Swine Flu.  Basically, anyone with viral/flu-ish symptoms was treated like they had the plague/were lepors/had the Swine Flu.

fixt
It's not trolling, it's just satire.

Payne

#63
April 28, 2009, 12:23:48 PM
It only takes a piglet girl

It only takes a piglet girl
To fever up, to fever up
It only takes a piglet girl
To fever up, to fever up

What's a bacon sammich hey?
You could the SWINE FLU that way!
Give your home town some Super Fear,
Cause now The Plague is near.
If you get a flu attack,
In peoples faces cough and hack.
Doing the pandemic dance,
Baby you could fill your pance.

It only takes a piglet girl
To fever up, to fever up
It only takes a piglet girl
To fever up, to fever up

Now in the local doctors lines,
Make the patients fear for their lives.
Sneeze upon them your phlegmy goo,
Watch them run away from you.

Now your flu's a pandemic thing,
You can sit back and this song you'll sing.
So pork shoulder up, and don't be shy,
This year the diseased are super fly.

It only takes a piglet girl
To fever up, to fever up
It only takes a piglet girl
To fever up, to fever up

Dance, Pandemic
Dance, Pandemic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3mt2Kvucz4

fomenter

#64
April 28, 2009, 05:23:35 PM
how long till it reaches Madagascar  :lulz:

and i swear i saw this being used as a graphic on the news last night
"So she says to me, do you wanna be a BAD boy? And I say YEAH baby YEAH! Surf's up space ponies! I'm makin' gravy... Without the lumps. HAAA-ha-ha-ha!"


hmroogp

Xooxe

#65
April 28, 2009, 05:29:33 PM

Hopeless in Xanadu

#66
April 28, 2009, 05:39:52 PM
Quote from: Xooxe on April 28, 2009, 05:29:33 PM


I need a life-size plushie of that.

My girlfriend is a practice manager at a large doctor's office in a state that hasn't had any cases yet. Her physicians are panicking, saying they should erect an emergency treatment tent in the parking lot now before it's too late.  That would be so much fun.

Iason Ouabache

#67
April 28, 2009, 05:59:58 PM
Exactly one case of swine flu found in northern Indiana, which means I will be hearing about this shit from paranoid rednecks for the next 6 months.   :argh!:
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
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LMNO

#68
April 28, 2009, 06:01:30 PM
RUMOUR MILL TIME!



"I just heard on CNN that gay people are naturally immune to Swine Flu!"

Iason Ouabache

#69
April 28, 2009, 06:04:08 PM
Rumor: "The vaccine for the swine flu will come in both barbecue and Caribbean jerk flavors."
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
    \
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AFK

#70
April 28, 2009, 06:09:37 PM
Quote from: LMNO on April 28, 2009, 06:01:30 PM
RUMOUR MILL TIME!



"I just heard on CNN that gay people are naturally immune to Swine Flu!"

Time to spread the Gay Wango Tango Dance craze. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

LMNO

#71
April 28, 2009, 06:13:34 PM
"IF YOU HAVE SALMONELLA, YOU WON'T GET SWINE FLU!"

fomenter

#72
April 28, 2009, 06:18:26 PM
bacon explosion,  a strange recipe made with pork products found to create immunity in those that have eaten it.
"So she says to me, do you wanna be a BAD boy? And I say YEAH baby YEAH! Surf's up space ponies! I'm makin' gravy... Without the lumps. HAAA-ha-ha-ha!"


hmroogp

tyrannosaurus vex

#73
April 28, 2009, 06:20:35 PM
BECOMING MUSLIM CURES SWINE FLU, AS THE POWER OF ALLAH WILL REPEL PIG COOTIES.

also,

<heartless>BECOMING A JEW CURES SWINE FLU, BUT ONLY BECAUSE DEADLY GAS KILLS YOU FIRST</heartless>
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

BADGE OF HONOR

#74
April 28, 2009, 07:33:50 PM
Quote from: LMNO on April 28, 2009, 06:13:34 PM
"IF YOU HAVE SALMONELLA, YOU WON'T GET SWINE FLU!"

trichonosis
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".
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