Pterodactylocalypse

[Pterodactyl Handler]

Suddenly:



A volcano in south America explodes, but instead of lava, it erupts a cloud of wretched screetching prehistoric pterosaurs. They quickly fly to your town and begin lacerating / eating people.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

This is sort of like planning for the Zombie Apocalypse. You need a plan in advance.

Here are some scenario details:

• Your town or city is filled with pterodactyls. There are at least three thousand of them locally.
• Other nearby towns and cities are dealing with their own prehistoric problems, so no additional help is coming.
• Even after their terrible bellies are full of blood and guts, the Pterodactyls continue to hunt, for sport
• Their beaks are so sharp they can snip off your limbs or head like scissors through a paper doll
• Pterodactyls have irregular sleep schedules. Some sleep during the day, some sleep at night.
• When resting, they tend to perch in high, easily protected places, generally the roofs of very tall buildings.
• If you can damage their wings they will be unable to fly
• Their BIKAAAW noise is connected to a lot of post-traumatic stress disorder amongst the survivors.
• Most people consider it too dangerous to go outside. If you do, a pterodactyl will smell you and attack within ten minutes. Better arm yourself before you go outside!

This Training Program might be helpful.


So what do you do? How would you and your loved ones survive the SWEET MERCIFUL FUCKing?

[LMNO]

[Richter]

At first I read this thread at "Pterodactylapse".  The beasts will pay for my loss of erection!   

[P3nT4gR4m]

flak cannon to get them on the ground then old faithful chainsaw for finishing them off.

Also windmills with razorwire streamers to damage those wings.

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

all i need is HOVER SHARK

[Cramulus]

Well I'm in an office right now, but there are a lot of windows. So I'm not sure that I'd be safe indoors. Luckily I am a notorious office packrat, and have like six pairs of scissors in my desk. So I'd grab two pairs of scissors and make my way towards the center of my floor, where there are the least windows. I guess I'd hole up inside the breakroom --- ooh, there are knives there! Big ones!

So I'd grab that knife and then take the stairs down to the street. I'd want to get out of white plains as quickly as possible, and the notion of being stuck inside an office building with my coworkers sounds like an entirely different kind of end-of-the-world scenario.

But the thing is, I don't know if the train station is the best place to go... Maybe I could hop a bus home?


assuming I get home okay, I'll still have a food problem. But I will have a crossbow and a suit of plate mail. So if pterodactyls are edible, I might be able to survive off of them for a while.

[LMNO]

But I will have a crossbow and a suit of plate mail.

Justification for LARPing, ITT.

[Cain]

I arm myself with North Korean Stinger missile replicas, a vibrant purple pimp suit and giant hat (to scare them away with), and single handedly decide to destroy their nest.

[AFK]

I'd stay inside and watch So You Think You Can Dance. 

[Richter]

I know where my hat is.  I have half of what I'd need in my bag, the rest around me.  More specialized tools and armor are available if I can get home.  Sounds like fun!

[Thurnez Isa]

I just turn to page 101
Everyone knows page 101 is where the good ending is

[Telarus]

"We're not Worthy. We're not Worthy."
            /
*lol* *lol* *lol* *lol* *lol*


[checking font size]

[Cramulus]

good tools for fighting off pterodactyls:







bad tools for fighting off pterodactyls:

[Richter]

Mine lives next to the door of my bedroom. 

[Thurnez Isa]

What about this?

It does pretty well too.