Ancient Tibeten Text Advises Buddhists to “Grow A Pair”

[Telarus]

http://www.muckflash.com/?p=440



hasa, TB -5 June 2009- Tibetan scholars researching Buddhist texts from the 14th century were startled recently when a new interpretation of a puzzling religious text by revered Buddhist theologian and thinker Tsongkhapa (1357–1419) revealed a stark style and message never before seen in the Buddhist world. After over 35 years of study, scholars have determined that a document found 100 years ago by British explorers, but only recently authenticated as an original work by Tsongkhapa, contains a singular message: "Sack Up."

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The text, written in painstakingly detailed calligraphy on fine vellum, is a series of repeating characters over 50 pages long, with 20 separately inked illustrations. Despite the text's elaborate details, the multi-national research team studying the document at Tibet University in Lhasa determined that the entire piece contains only variations of the same six characters - ༀབཛྲསཏྭཧཱུཾ

Translated literally, the characters are an imperative, "Tense the Man Within," but after cross referencing the text with contemporary examples from elsewhere in the Buddhist world, the research team determined the the phrase was a well-known colloquialism common in the elite intellectual and ruling classes of 15th century South Asia: "life orbs up." Correcting for language drift and context, however, the research team concluded that he most logical modern equivalent is "sack up."

Dr. Jan Fullreich, professor of Sino-Tibetan Studies at the University of Stuttgart and leader of the research team, says that the disconnect between the figurative language and the literal translation isn't surprising. "All languages drift over time to create new lexical constructions and meanings. So much so that idiomatic expressions are often incomprehensible after only a generation or two," he said. "In this case, the text of Tsongkhapa means, in the parlance of his time, to 'grow a pair.'"

Some Buddhist scholars are less certain about the findings. Dr. Gennifer Broem, Chief Administrator of the Tse Chen Ling Center for Tibetan Buddhist Studies in San Francisco, insists that such an interpretation would run counter to the tenets of Tsongkhapa's sect of Dgelugspa Buddhism, whose contemporary leaders include the Dalai Lama. "Dgelugspa does not condone the self centered aggression in phrases like 'sack up,' whatever that may mean to any generation," she said. "Peace and selfless enlightenment demand detachment from any concept of egotistical posturing. It's unthinkable that Tsongkhapa would consider such a thing."

Dr. Fullreich was nonetheless resolute. "The first thing anybody, much less a Buddhist monk, should realize is that life is hard, and things aren't always what you expect," he said.

[Cainad (dec.)]

 

[Epimetheus]

I wouldn't be surprised. Some of the Buddhists were some of the most humorous wise men in history - that is, they were humorous in their wisdom (or vice versa). Sometimes they also said inherently contradictory things that nonetheless were profoundly true, or were intended to make the audience think (for themselves, schmucks).

[Corvidia]

Awesome.  Dr. Broem needs to learn that 'grow a pair' doesn't always have to mean aggression. I would argue that it can mean face life for what it is, rather than just what it should be.

Anyway, I'm liking this Tsongkhapa guy.

[Bu🤠ns]

"Dgelugspa does not condone the self centered aggression in phrases like 'sack up,' whatever that may mean to any generation," she said. "Peace and selfless enlightenment demand detachment from any concept of egotistical posturing. It's unthinkable that Tsongkhapa would consider such a thing."

Someone hit Gennifer with a stick, plz?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Sounds like Buddhism was a fun religion, before the hippies fucked it up for everyone.

[fomenter]

Sounds like Buddhism was a fun religion, before the hippies fucked it up for everyone.

 

[Epimetheus]

Buddhism was/is awesome at some point (especially Zen Buddhism), but are we really going to start talking about Really Real Buddhists now?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Buddhism was/is awesome at some point (especially Zen Buddhism), but are we really going to start talking about Really Real Buddhists now?

I dunno, did you see some Buddhists saying "UR DOIN IT RONG"?

[Epimetheus]

Buddhism was/is awesome at some point (especially Zen Buddhism), but are we really going to start talking about Really Real Buddhists now?

I dunno, did you see some Buddhists saying "UR DOIN IT RONG"?

Yeah, that Broem lady in the article.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Buddhism was/is awesome at some point (especially Zen Buddhism), but are we really going to start talking about Really Real Buddhists now?

I dunno, did you see some Buddhists saying "UR DOIN IT RONG"?

Yeah, that Broem lady in the article.

There you go, then.

[Cainad (dec.)]

What I want to know is why they couldn't glean that from the literal translation, "Tense the man within."

I mean, I realize I'm a victim of confirmation bias here, but what on earth does that sound like to you? Seriously.

[Triple Zero]

Um guys, it's an awesome piece and I'm spreading it all over twitter, but I do kind of have the feeling it's a fake.. Check out the rest of the articles on that site, they're really well-done, nearly believable but completely outrageous articles. They also have a madlib generator http://www.muckflash.com/?page_id=108

Still, great stuff

[Telarus]

 

I think you're right, Trip. Google search for "Tsongkhapa Fullreich" only turned up that specific article.



Damn, that almost makes it even funnier!

[Triple Zero]

Hell yeah, AWS:OM take fucking notice