The Book of Erisesiastes

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Erisesiastes 1
Everything May Be Meaningless
1 The words of the Spag, [a] son of humans, Pope in Discordia:

2 "Absurd! Absurd!"
      says the Spag.
      "Utterly Absurd!
      Everything is Absurd."

3 What does man gain from all his labor
      at which he toils under the sun?
      Except for sunburn, a bad back and
      a retirement plan that goes away
      when the corporation goes bankrupt?

4 The generations come and go, children of men
   become beatniks. Children of beatniks
       become hippies. Children of hippies
       become spoiled brats and the earth
       continues onward, unaware of the philosophies
   of the spags that run around on its surface.

5 The sun rises and the sun sets,
       no matter what view of the solar
   system we might have. It will
   warm the flat earther, just as
   it will warm the one who knows
   the earth to be round. So then
       what value is in the knowing?

6 The wind blows to the south
      and turns to the north;
      its blowing generates energy for some
      and its blowing destroys property for others.
      No matter how we plan, we can neither
      stop nor start the blowing of the wind.

7 All streams flow into the sea,
      often carrying garbage, waste
      and pollution; yet the sea is
      never full of water, but it is
      filling with garbage.
      To the place the streams come from,
      there they return again. Leaving the
      old garbage and bringing more next time.
      Such is all philosophy.

8 All things are strange,
      more than one can say.
      No matter what we see, no matter
      what we hear, there is always more.

9 In all things do we repeat ourselves;
      That which we argue about has been
      argued before. That which we think about
      has been thought about before.
      There is nothing new under the sun,
      and yet none of us will ever see or
      experience all of it.


10 Is there anything of which one can say,
      "Look! This is something new"?
      It was here already, long ago;
      it was here before our time.
      At best, we just happen to be
      the first humans to notice it.

11 Not everyone is remembered; those
      who are remembered are often remembered
      through hyperbole, tall tales, legends and
      myths. What came before us we see darkly
      through the lens of history. What will come
      next, we have no way of knowing.

12 I, the Spag, was a Pope in Discordia.

13 I devoted myself to study and to explore by wit all that is done by humans. What a heavy burden Man has laid on men! 14 I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are silly, like chasing after the wind.

15 What is twisted can be straightened;
       but it will always have a weakness there.
       What is lacking can be counted, but you
       have to use negative numbers.

16 I thought to myself, "Look, I have grown and increased in ideas as much as anyone in Discordia ever has! I have experienced much and learned much." 17 Then I applied myself to the understanding of nonsense, and also of sense, but I learned that all of this, too, is a chasing after the wind, absurdity upon absurdity, especially if you try to argue over it. And then I met other Spags who had also thought of all these thing which I thought unique to me.

18 With much freedom comes much sorrow
   but also joy; the more awareness,
   the more grief but also pleasure.
   It's a balancing act and likely to end
   with a pie in the face.
       

[Iason Ouabache]

  That was beautiful. Ecclesiastes has always been one of my favorite books of the Bible. Are you planning on doing any other chapters?

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

  That was beautiful. Ecclesiastes has always been one of my favorite books of the Bible. Are you planning on doing any other chapters?

As many as possible.

[Golden Applesauce]

I'm probably missing a lot because I haven't really read Ecclesiastes thoroughly, but I like it.

Also, I suspect we could, in fact, stop the wind blowing if there was a profit in it.

[Telarus]

I liked it. Haven't really read the bible in ages, but this has some very excellent verse in there.

[The Wizard]

Nice. Should do Revelations. Always figured they left out a couple horsmen. Stupidity, Short Sightedness, the more subtle causes for the End.

[Iason Ouabache]

Nice. Should do Revelations. Always figured they left out a couple horsmen. Stupidity, Short Sightedness, the more subtle causes for the End.

There's not enough mushrooms in the world to make something more outlandish than the original.

[The Wizard]

There's not enough mushrooms in the world to make something more outlandish than the original.

I don't know about that. The human mind can come up with some scary shit.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Erisesiastes 2

Nonsense is Absurd

1 I determined to seek pleasures and found complete Nonsense to be pleasurable. Yet, this
  too led to absurdity. 2 For that which I deemed Nonsense was sometimes awesome and sometimes
  lame and after awhile got repetitive and boring. If Man's Sense is absurd and Man's Nonsense is
  absurd, then what can man do? 3 So I embraced folly and silliness and went off to see if it was
  worth being completely out of my head.

4 So I wrote Nonsensical poetry and prose. 5 I engaged in Mindfucking those who were not silly and
  playing tricks on those who were silly. 6 I engaged in nonsensical metaphysics and created mashups
  of  all other beliefs, faiths and ideas which probably violated someones Intellectual Property. 7
  I drank and smoked and carried on, yet these things were also absurd. 8 For a hangover is a hangover
  no matter what you think of the Universe.

9 When I was young I denied myself many things,
   for that was the belief of my people.
   When I came to find that all is absurd,
   I denied myself nothing that I desired.

10 My actions were my own reward and the freedom
   I felt was its own payment.

11 Yet, when it was all done and I found
   this to be absurd. The man that is
   never serious, appears equal in
        absurdity as the man who is always
        serious.

Wisdom and Folly Are Absurd

12 Then I turned my mind toward Wisdom,
   but found that wisdom was subjective
   and often depended on how well the person
   could argue in circles. I looked also at
   Madness and Folly and they didn't appear
   much worse for the wear. For many claim to
   have wisdom and few claim to be mad. Yet,
   from what I can see all are Mad and few are Wise.

13 I saw that wisdom and folly were like the Light and
   the Dark. Neither are bad, but unless you live
   in Alaska, you probably like your day to be split
   between the two.

14 Some may say that the Light is better for one can see.
   Another may say the dark is better for one can find
   peace. Yet, wisdom or folly or madness, leaves us
   equally dead in the end.

15 So why choose Wisdom over Nonsense, if you're dead
either way?
   Is the choice not absurd?

16 For both the wise and the foolish will live for a
   time and then die. Soon they will be forgotten,
   unless they were a real asshole and then they'll
   only be remembered in Internet Debates and as
   part of Godwin's Law.

17 One could hate life, and see it all as grievous and meaningless. Or one can get with the program and
   figure out what to do with the time they have. 18 For that which we create and that which we write
   will be passed on to future Spags, and who knows what fucked up ideas they'll have? 19 They will   
   interpret what you write as they see fit and not care what you thought. 20 After all, you are dead   
   and they live, that puts all the power in their hands... and even your Copyright material will be
   theirs, unless you have an estate. 21 If you have an estate, they'll probably rape your corpse anyway.

22 Eris gives to the Wise man as much shit as she gives to the Fool. 23 She throws apples at the man who
   toils under the sun and she throws apples at the man who relaxes on the riverbank in the shade. 24 To
   the one in the sun, she gives heat exhaustion; and to the other she trips him and he falls into the
   mud. 25 In the end, the only one really having a good time is Eris, the bitch. Embrace Sense or
   Nonsense, either way she'll screw with you.

[LMNO]

That's pretty cool, Rat.


All we need now is someone to Eris up the Koran and the Bagavad Gita.

[Iason Ouabache]

Only 10 more chapters to go!

All we need now is someone to Eris up the Koran and the Bagavad Gita.