If I was God

[Thurnez Isa]

If I was God
I would have put a cap on primate evolution.
Past a certain point, "sorry no more evolving... you guys start to get really stupid."

Now I see why Adam was kicked out of the garden. It wasn't cause he ate some rotten apple. No it was cause God didn't want to put up with his inane, stupid babbling anymore.
After he got his knowledge man was already fucking complaining about being naked.
God was like, "OH my fucking God (though I don't think God would use the word "God" in that situation, but hey) What have I created?"
God knew what was coming; psychobabble, middle class kids sobbing over imagined situations, people fucking in bunny suits, societies using tons of resources on think tanks who do nothing but justify ignorance.

Squirrels, weasels, or rats wouldn't have fucked this up as much these screaming, moronic primates have.
Hell I think Cephalopods could do a better job.
Which begs the question... What the fuck is taking Cthulhu so fricken long? Seriously the guy has to shape up.
Though maybe he has a point. Wait till the fucking primates destroy themselves with the ultimate shit fest then the spoils are his. And this way he doesn't sully his creations with primate stupidity. It's probably contagious.

But if I was God he wouldn't have to worry about that.
There would have been a cap on primate evolution.

[Elder Iptuous]

must be cap and trade....
i have certain levels of stupidity output that i must maintain, even if it costs me dearly...

[Template]

Capping is terribly hard to do in a chaotic system like the self-mutating lifeform.  I'd rather just notice the horrible anomaly and deploy the angel with the flaming boot of competence to put it up the nascent species's common arse.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hahaha Niiiice Thorny!

[navkat]

"In the year two-thousaaaaaand..."

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

omg navkat 

I like your rant TI
Would read again A+++ writer

[The Wizard]

If I was God I would have just gone ahead and made us into whatever we're evolving into from the start. I mean if you're omnipotent, are you going to bother waiting for humanity to evolve on their own?

[navkat]

Well perhaps it's because some things need to be learn with OJT. Like, you might be born with the talent and potential to be a prodigal musician but you also gotta learn to play the piano and develop some muscle-memory and skill at it.

I mean, that's one argument one could take if they were an omnipotent concept that clearly doesn't exist.

[The Wizard]

But if you're omnipotent, you can just give the person knowledge of music and the muscle memory. Omnipotence means that there is nothing that can't be done.

[navkat]

But if you're omnipotent, you can just give the person knowledge of music and the muscle memory. Omnipotence means that there is nothing that can't be done.

That sounds like a lot of work...like playing The Sims.
Isn't there a way to let it run on auto-pilot? I mean, I know mistakes will be made but the cost:convenience ratio is too tempting to pass up!

[The Wizard]

That leads to omniscience and omnipresence. It can run the universe without any effort. It doesn't really need to think it through, it can just say "make it work" and poof!

[BabylonHoruv]

That leads to omniscience and omnipresence. It can run the universe without any effort. It doesn't really need to think it through, it can just say "make it work" and poof!

Sounds pretty boring.

[The Wizard]

I'm not really sure an entity or whatever the hell it is can be bored. This is an entity that can create and run and entire universe from the movement of galaxies to the dividing of single celled organisms. It's like wondering if Cthulhu can understand the concept of morality. It's just too big.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

I'm not really sure an entity or whatever the hell it is can be bored. This is an entity that can create and run and entire universe from the movement of galaxies to the dividing of single celled organisms. It's like wondering if Cthulhu can understand the concept of morality. It's just too big.

Nah, Cthulhu is too big for mere human morality. Truth is, he's just a lonely High Priest from an Alien world, the poor guy....

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'm not really sure an entity or whatever the hell it is can be bored.

Well, if I was God, YOU would never be bored.  There would be no wars, because you'd be too busy dealing with zombies and huge fucking squid in the sewers.  That's the problem with humans...they have too much time on their hands.

Also, the basic design of the human body would make sense.  None of this bilateral symmetry shit.  Ask me why.  Go ahead.  Ask.