Book Club: Angel Tech

[Kai]

It's interestng in a way-- he talks about mapping your own interpretation on top of your experiences, and then he goes and imposes his own trip on what should be as objective as possible.

Disclaimer: just because he's bright doesn't mean he's not a monkey.

[Bu🤠ns]

It's interestng in a way-- he talks about mapping your own interpretation on top of your experiences, and then he goes and imposes his own trip on what should be as objective as possible.

Disclaimer: just because he's bright doesn't mean he's not a monkey.

  I wonder to what degree he buys (bought) into his own ideas.

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

A trip is imposed; I'm not sure it's HIS.

[LMNO]

A trip is imposed; I'm not sure it's HIS.

Um, why not?  He wrote it, after all.

[LMNO]

"When our social survival is confused, it stems from misplaced ideas about our social life: interaction with ourself, friends, others, groups and 'society en masse.' A popular method of our social confusion comes with neglecting to update our self-image to coincide with our chronological and internal growth... Perhaps one of the more devastating demonstrations of personal disorientation can be revealed in The Once Famous Person. Here is a person who came into vast public recognition for being a certain persona and who believed themself to be this persona, even after fame withered. Then, the inflated ego of The Once Famous Person must suffer its loss by facing reality or continue living in a dream with those willing to go along with it. The common element of all social confusion of this kind is the inability to live in the present and maintain present-time interactions with others... unless those others agree to live in the same Time Warp as the disoriented."

See, that sounds right.  It also perfectly describes those people in High School who never got over who they used to be: The Football Hero, the Bully, the Beauty Queen... People who got "stuck" in an early social role, and never learned how to keep up with the world changing around them.

"Identification with ones persona or public image invariably freezes the features of the face, as well as instilling a certain thickness to its overall texture. Thick faces don't take as well to animation and spontaneous expression as sensitive faces do."  Wait, what?

"The sensitive persona also is capable of portraying multiple roles without necessarily identifying completely with any of them. With this kind of self-image, there is a certain chameleon-like quality... of wending with and bending to whatever the environment asks."  Ok, that's more like it.  It speaks directly to the "chaos surfing" catchphrase that some of us like to use.  It's also a reflection of the ability to see and choose different filters, or maps.  If you can get along with the Chess Club and the Metalheads at the same time, chances are, you're doing it right.

"One purpose to personal growth is in discovering the freedom to change our self-image and public image in accordance with the changes the rest of our life is going through...If this kind of personal flexibility is not feasible, you must change communities and live somewhere else."  This is an interesting point that he underscores a few different ways.  "One side-effect of personal development is severing relations with other persons who have not gotten around to letting us go through our changes. Changing ones mind about oneself is difficult enough but when you ask others to change their minds about you, it is then you find out who your real friends are. People get used to thinking about each other in certain ways and grow attached to certain ways of relating. If someone cannot handle the personality change you are going through because you are updating your self-image, then it is their problem unless you make it yours, as well. If people create friendship on the basis of personality alone, then when personalities transform, the relationship requires some adjustment or it dissolves."  This, on the face of it, sounds pretty harsh, but it happens all the time.  Humans want their relationships to remain consistent, and defined.  If the quarterback comes out as gay, or if the hippie becomes a banker, the majority of their friends will reject them, and they'll have to find new friends.  In fact most of the time, any personal change you make will affect your relationships with others.  If you want to keep your friends, you usually have to sit down and re-work the way your friendship behaves.  "Another source of social discord is when we outgrow our present social circles and neglect to withdraw and/or find new ones. Our circle of friends constitutes our Power Elite because this network affirms and supports the person we are or want to become. Once this circle stops doing this for us, it's time to take a few steps back and review our criteria for friendship based in our present-time feelings, responses and social realities. If we don't, it's possible well harm ourselves and others through subliminal resentments, hidden hostilities and other emotional signals announcing the need for more personal space than there is presently offered."

Hippie alert: "One impetus for changing social circles comes from loving yourself more than your friends can love themselves and/or you. You can only receive as much love, affection and/or acceptance as you've been able to give yourself. Any more becomes a Positive Threat. When you are loved more than you can love yourself, it's decidedly uncomfortable unless you surrender to a greater self-acceptance."  We might be able to find a different word for "love", if that makes you feel better... Still comes off like a Beatles song, but the truth is that if you don't like yourself very much, any positive comments someone gives you will sound like mockery; and if you're surrounded by people who don't like themselves, you'll just get bummed out.

"Terminally Independent people become the most socially confused when they forget the interactive nature of Social Intelligence. The same goes for Fatally Dependent people, as well, who cannot permit enough personal space to maintain an honest relationship."  As much as you'd like to be a free, independent soul, you're still part of a group, and you'd better recognize what that group is, and how you function within it; conversely, the group is not your identity, you can't just subsume yourself within the group.

So, we can see what happens when your social gear gets confused.  What about if it's not really there in the first place? "Of all the ways to become Pretty Vacant socially, perhaps the most poignant is becoming Faceless. In Fourth Grade, we find out for ourselves just where we stand with the process of collectivization. We are socially Pretty Vacant when we decide to repress and/or sacrifice our autonomy in exchange for collective membership. For some of us, this kind of pressure to conform to group standards is impossible. Others among us may welcome the pressure of conformity in that it gives us definition and the feeling of belonging to something greater than ourselves. However, during this phase of personal surrender, people often re-emerge as more homogenous, standardized and bland versions of themselves. They become Faceless. This also tends to happen whenever the Human Factor is down-played in favor of worshipping principles, knowledge, status, security, money, power, leaders and the rest of it. Socially, people are what we are here for. Until we realize this simple moral truth, we remain... Pretty Vacant."

That was a long quote, but it's spot on.  Now that we're dealing with social interactions, we can see these examples in front of us.  Also, because we're all on this website as so-called Free Thinkers, we seem to have been attuned to identifying these kind of people... Except when it might apply to us, of course.  I don't think I need to go into any examples of Gear 4 Vacancy; it's what almost every large social collective strives for, conformity and unanimity.

"For the Terminally Dull and Faceless, there's still hope. The Pretty Vacant can bring color to their personalities by Acting Out Of Character. This precarious act entails engaging in those activities contrary to the standards of acceptance set by the governing collective, whether it be family, friends, group or government factions. If Acting Out of Character excites a predictable guilt reaction, congratulations, you are in the grips of Social Control program... Respond to the guilt and the resentment you feel for being guilty based on someone else's judgment. Rage has been known to animate a few Faceless Phenomenas back to life again." In other words, Be Silly and use Roger Prime.

Of course, the other way to be Vacant socially is to see the social interactions of other people, reject them entirely within yourself, and then manipulate the hell out of them.  A.A. calls this "psychopathic," though some of us here might call it "fun".  "Rebellion, in its extreme, takes a different form of Social Idiocy in the conscience-free habits of the psychopath. A psychopath, defined here, is that person (or aspect of ourselves) who comprehends social moral codes but uses this knowledge to take advantage of people... without a sense of guilt, they find no reason to feel bad or be punished for violating the ethics of others. The ethics of a psychopath simply fail to include other people and so, these tendencies often create isolated, misogynist and misanthropic personalities."  Yeah, ok.  We have little tolerance for fools around here, and we often attempt (and often succeed) at manipulating those people we consider to be more Monkey than Man... And to be honest, a lot of the "social moral codes" he mentions are ultimately detrimental and oppressive, and those people who work to support and impose those codes should be fucked with, if you ask me.  But perhaps it's all a matter of degrees...

"Another way to become Pretty Vacant socially, is by judging the social side of people as too frivolous and shallow to take seriously."  In other words, those smug fuckers we were talking about a few days ago who make themselves sound so superior when they say they don't own a TV... The kind of people who reject the social side of our personalities as not Important, and turn their attention to some Great Work of Significance, abandoning all social support and community.  We monkeys are pack animals; we are social creatures by design.  To ignore this is not to be fully Human.

So, where do these codes come from? "Social bonding begins within the family and then, extends out to friends, groups and society en masse. If there is a lot of "karmic charge" around Mother, then, we work through our social karma with women until our relationship with Mom is more neutralized--" 

Oh, great.  More Freud.  Plus, a misuse of the word "karma".  Sigh.  Let's move on.

[LMNO]

"The "social victim" is one who is unable to find an identity outside a group context because he/she is caught up in needing acceptance and/or ejection from the group to be free."  This relates to the first version of the Vacant Faceless.  After you've figured out that you've been trapped in an oppressive social system, how do you get out?  "One way to bypass the need to be attached and/or banished from a collective is through a form of self discipline... an arduous yet rewarding process of defining a personal morality: a set of principles to live by based on the realization of your highest ideals... Adhering to this code, one becomes the best person one is capable of being. When this code is violated from within, you take responsibility for your own punishment... The less dependent you become on others' approval for your morality, the less you are influenced by their opinions, rejections and reactions. Whatever your morality, permit it to others as you love yourself. Lastly, by defining virtue in your own terms, proceed silently, lest you confuse your virtue for public justice and judge the human beings around you."  In other words, Think For Yourself, Schmuck, and Keep Your Fucking Mouth Shut.

"Fourth Gear spins out on Broken Record more from the fear of loneliness than perhaps, anything else... The Herd Instinct is nurtured by the fear of loneliness... A look at the pain, sorrow and longing of loneliness will let us feel a heart that has not yet been completely broken... a mind which has not yet been utterly disillusioned... Broken Hearts aren't much fun and Disillusioned Heads tend to ache, but between the both of them, there's a good chance of getting off Broken Record... With every heartbreak and disillusionment, we get a little closer to our "true selves" and the less we need to repeat our errors. Well discover the heart that doesn't break and the mind that sees through itself."  That's a nice thought, that our emotional pain can help us be better people.  We'll come back to that, I hope.  For now, let's talk about people who are stuck on 4th Gear, people who are "socially addicted."

"Some people require the context of a group mind to fulfill their destiny. Some need groups as a springboard for the manifestation of their own individual dreams, while others simply cannot motivate without a group behind them."  Essentially, they are not strong enough as individuals to set plans into action; they need the force of the group in order to get going.

"One way to release yourself from a group mind is through the willing participation of every other member to ceremonially grant acceptance (with no judgment) of your desire to leave." Yeah, like that's going to happen. "If this is not possible, then it is up to you to decipher and read the specific nature of your karmic debt to your group, as a whole and with individual members. Once understood, proceed to pay your debts as directly and simply as you can. The karmic code of the group mind consists of those excitements and resistances which bind you as a member to that group (to work them out)." Please ignore his mangling of the work Karma for right now... What he means here is that "Karma" is shorthand for "things you personally lack that you found in the group."

I think what he's trying to say is that if we lack Security, or have Ego problems, or awkward semantics, then we might end up in a group that provides us with strength where we are weak.  Which is fine, unless we cease to develop these strengths within ourselves, and let the group take care of everything; even worse if the group actively works at breaking down some aspects of our personalities, and inserts themselves in their place.  Towards this, he offers a handy "Cult Chart" for evaluating the group you are in.  This is long, but it's worth it.:

On a scale of 1-5, with 5 being an absolute yes and 1, absolute no, check off the underlying areas of evaluation.

1) AUTHORITY - degree by which the group and/or leaders) claim ultimate knowledge about the nature of reality.
2) POWER - degree by which group &/or leader(s) offer power & status as a result of joining the group as a member.
3) MONEY - degree by which your finances are involved to support your membership in this group and its leaders).
4) POLITICS - degree of internal hierarchy or distance between new members and leaders) pressures for attaining position.
5) INDOCTRINATION - degree by which members must follow the group's morality and ethical code over their own; also the degree of dogma and philosophical rigidity.
6) CENSORSHIP - degree of control leaders exercise over members' style of communicating; degree of inhibition towards outside ideas about the group, its dogmas and leaders.
7) FEAR - degree of concern over real or imagined enemies; also degree by which humor is forbidden in relation to group dogma, etc.

I will leave it to you all to see how your favorite groups stack up.  He doesn't offer any guidelines of how to interpret your evaluations, but I have the feeling that the higher the number, the more you are abandoning your personal self to the will of the Group.

Getting back to the Broken Record aspect, "One way of immobilizing social survival is spinning our wheels from the guilt of an overbearing conscience...We feel guilty in two ways: 1) Like a robot and 2) Like an animal- Robot guilt is a conditioned response felt after Doing Something Wrong. Animal guilt is an organic response sensed before Doing Something Wrong... Conditioned robot guilt is a reaction to a moral program accepted as a basis to tell Right from Wrong.  Animal guilt is the direct, intuitive knowledge that something is
"wrong" before it actually occurs."  Ok, I know this reeks of a priori knowledge, but it seems he may have something going here.  While it's hard to get your head around the latter, the former is pretty clear: Some AUTHORITY made a command about what was Right and what was Wrong, and demanded you obey.  "The trouble with robot guilt is that it changes into resentment because the organism simply detests having to feel guilt automatically. The resentment turns into an emotional kind of mush, immobilizing our capacity for direct response and obscuring our sensitivity to our natural radar."  Whether you call it Intuition, or whether it's more your developing consciousness making its own choices as to Morality (or Ethical Principles, or whatever you want to call it), sooner or later it's going to bump up against the External moral codes... and when that happens, all hell is gonna bust loose.

This latest installment has gotten fairly tl;dr, but hang on and take a deep breath, because Short Circuit is up next.  As been said before, this is when the gear is overloaded by its higher paired gear – in this case, C8, the "Quantum Non-Local" Circuit.  Yeah. I know.  "The nature of Eighth Grade Spiritual Intelligence is highly interactive, unpredictable and beyond conceptual comprehension... only a strong Personality could endure the intensity of its High Uncertainty Zones."  See what I mean? 

I'm going to skip around a bit and drop a few quotes I thing are useful.  There's no point in me arguing against some of his more... citation-less... statements. Except perhaps when I think a further clarification is desperately needed.

"Socially speaking, a Short Circuit emerges with a loss of personal integrity as a result of complete encompassment in the spiritual experience. This is akin to capsizing in a rowboat out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. With Third Gear Short Circuits, we responded to Mythic Intelligence by forming our own cosmology to maintain sanity in the face of a greater reality. From Fourth Gear, there is nothing we can hold onto, conceptually, because we are asked to participate in the transmutation of our personality. (At this point, we are not referring to the Weekend Workshop Variety of Self-Change but to transformation as a survival need.)"

Ok, fine.  But, then... "There comes a time in everyone's life when another kind of family emerges which is neither genetically related or people you've met before.. (hereafter referred to as your Circle of Humanity). Many times when our Social Survival is on Short Circuit, we meet certain individuals who show up almost as if by sheer coincidence to help us in our personal evolution. These people are social messengers from the No Coincidences Dept. arriving to provide solace, friendship and reassurance while we are engaged in a high state of social flux... The Circle of Humanity may have evolved over the centuries through reincarnations and each member of these circles may indeed be neurons in a vast Central Nervous System covering aeons of time and space."  Or, you know, the pattern maker in your brain is going haywire trying to sort through the Chaos it sees, and makes so-called "synchronous" connections to the people in your social circle.  Law of Fives, once again.  I'm going to have to stick with Occam's Razor on this one.

The point of this Circle, or of these Lo5 Connections (take your pick), is "learning to understand how we respond to the spiritual. Many of us will be unable and/or unwilling to integrate spiritual information on our own so, we turn to religion for solutions. Historically, religions and their churches have provided solace for the spiritually bereft. This, however, has not gone by without its price. By joining a religion, sect or church, we sacrifice a certain spiritual autonomy: our own personal response to the experience unhindered by the effect of outside authority. Those of us who actually do respond either end up going against the grain of socialized religion and/or invent our own religion."  I'd have to agree with this. The connection with C4 socializing and spirituality may be tenuous, but organized religion most certainly robs us of our autonomy.

Whatever you might say about A.A.'s take on what spirituality "is", the ideas he has for personal fulfillment are very accurate.  "We'll be returning to society searching for our place as people in our human form.. this can be quite a difficult task to perform. Modern society really has not place carved out for people like this. Our alternative... is with custom-designing our own personality, its place in society and the vocation we aspire towards to pay the rent. We may have to do this without the confirmation of others. In fact, the need for confirmation may be the last obstacle to self-empowerment."  Our desire to belong to the group may hinder our efforts to become as free as we can be.


Well, those are the 4 lower gears.  Now, we have to go through Chapel Perilous.

[Kai]

Thoughts unrelated to C4, but directly to the themes of C5-C8.

C5---->>> All is One ----> recognizing oneness

C6---->>> I am Many ----> recognizing multiplicity of awareness

C7---->>> We are a Network ----> recognizing connections/networks

C8 --->>> The Void (or potential or the unknown or factor x, whatever you call it) ---->recognizing the unknown


Okay, summarizing. The above are what seems to be the main themes in each of the 4 upper circuits AA works with. Each upper circuit can be treated as a reality filter. Through C5 one filters for that which unifies, makes whole, binds things as one. Through C6 one filters for that which discriminates, separates, and determines differences. Through C7 one filters for complex webs/networks/systems, and C8 is filtering for the the unknown. The 8 circuits as a model from where I am working now in my life seems to be a way of filtering reality to see different aspects via focus through one or more circuits.

Funny how you need C6 to really recognize the possibility of a filtering system though. Without seeing the multiplicity of it all you can't recognize changing to see the world differently.

I'm gonna read your commentary in the morning LMNO. Sleep time.

[LMNO]

I really like that interpretation, Kai.  I'm gonna keep that in mind and run with it, if'n you don't object.

Working with that, we can postulate that C1-4 "is" your BIP/Filter/Map/Grid -- The different ways your personality can be put together in terms of phisicality, ego, semantic intelligence, and social behavior.

That would mean that C5-8 are different ways to Reconstruct/Jailbreak/re-write the map/re-program, and the various ways it can happen.

So, it would make sense that C5 can change your prison, but only through C6 and higher can you choose the way it's changed. 

Or something.  Either way, I like the way this sounds much better than the assumptions of DNA consciousness/past lives/non-local information sharing.

Thanks, Kai.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

I really like that interpretation, Kai.  I'm gonna keep that in mind and run with it, if'n you don't object.

Working with that, we can postulate that C1-4 "is" your BIP/Filter/Map/Grid -- The different ways your personality can be put together in terms of phisicality, ego, semantic intelligence, and social behavior.

That would mean that C5-8 are different ways to Reconstruct/Jailbreak/re-write the map/re-program, and the various ways it can happen.

So, it would make sense that C5 can change your prison, but only through C6 and higher can you choose the way it's changed. 

Or something.  Either way, I like the way this sounds much better than the assumptions of DNA consciousness/past lives/non-local information sharing.

Thanks, Kai.

Yes! This is very much how I tend to see it.

Hardware Layer = Physical limitations put in place by physics and genetics
Circuits I - IV = Initial Programs, Version 1.0
Circuits V-VIII = The tools that allow you to metaprogram/reprogram the first four circuits.

That is why I had such a difficult time switching to the BiP model as laid out by many people here... the PD BiP seems to put the HW layer and Circuits I-IV together to form the BiP or Cainad's variation which seems to split along those lines.

[LMNO]

Not to get back into this, but the BIP posits that even though you can reprogram C1-4, you can't eliminate them.  They have to be programmed in some way; and programs, by their definition, are limiting.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Not to get back into this, but the BIP posits that even though you can reprogram C1-4, you can't eliminate them.  They have to be programmed in some way; and programs, by their definition, are limiting.

I don't disagree at all

However, I think its why I tend to separate the Biological constraints which we cannot modify, from the programming constraints which we can (ie the spaceship/submarine/etc model)

Every time I go through this book I pick up more bits that have directly influenced my thinking

[LMNO]

So, how are we to understand Chapel Perilous?  I certainly wouldn't say it's a "place where 'souls' go after leaving their robot bodies... while these bodies are still alive and walking the planet's surface."  And I'm not sure I'd run with the metaphor and posit "sermons" that the "congregation of souls" needs to hear before returning.

I would, however, say that it's the minds state you get into when you are "shocked" out of your pre-programmed habits.  "Shock, as defined here, is that effect initiated by a source beyond our control which suddenly alters our sense of ourselves and the world around us. Shocks arrive in a variety of impacts, ranging from the mild to the severely traumatic. An energetic function of shock is to temporarily disconnect us from our usual, habitual and routine ways of doing things... behavior, language, attitude, etc. It often produces a sense of Limbo, floating feelings and an overall 'disconnectedness'."

So, whenever we get our realities shaken up, you enter that void where nothing makes "sense" to your map.  Or it might be that you are faced with the machine language of your programming.  You see the monkey inside your brain, pushing buttons.  The universe is not as it seems, and your behaviors are not your own.  So, how the hell do we get out?

"One creative way to respond to shock is by reconnecting ourselves to new habits and routines which increase our intelligence and make us happy."  Basically, reprogramming.  What could possibly go wrong?  "It is during this time that new directions may be initiated and crystallized when the 'gap of our death' eventually closes down again and we stabilize... If we're naive to this effect and don't reconnect ourselves creatively, we lapse back even deeper into our previous habitual patterns... like them or not." He's talking about imprinting, but this actually sounds better to me for some reason. 

So, this section is made up of "sermons" that are supposed to reflect different ways a person can get unstuck from their gears.  Instead of explaining and describing them, the whole chapter is an extended metaphor.  Considering that the 8C model is a metaphor to begin with, that's one too many for my tastes.  I'll quote any bits I find insightful, but for the most part, I skimmed a lot of this part.

...

I got nuthin'.

I might be overly jaded, but I couldn't really get into these sermons; I especially didn't like the soul/body disconnect, or the past lives/karma bits.  Perhaps it's fruitless to try to give instructions through CP... the experience tends to be beyond linguistics, so you can't really talk about it very well.   I guess if I had to do this section, I'd say something like:

You can enter Chapel Perilous in at least 4 different ways.

1) You experience major changes to your physical body.  Drugs, Injury/Illness, Puberty, Menopause, etc.  The changes need not be detrimental— if, for example, you are finally freed after years of debilitating pain, you are forced to reassess the world and your place in it.

2) Your place on the dominant/submissive ladder radically shifts.  Your ego, or your psychic territory, gets majorly worked over. Beta or Gamma dogs who are suddenly thrust into leadership positions, poor people who win the lottery, BMOC's who can't get respect in the workplace, etc.

3) You don't know what you know.  Your knowledge base is completely rocked. Facts you thought you know are no longer true, or the things you thought were false are indeed true. The earth, which is round, goes around the sun.  "Irregardless" is not a word.  Belgium does not actually exist.

4) The social roles/rules/games have been obliterated.  Gays come out of the closet and get married, there is no God, the Democratic Process isn't, the police are not your friend.

The above, of course, can be mixed and matched to varying degrees.  For example, let's say a religious man is excommunicated from his church.  You could easily say that all four of the above have occurred.  The church provided a substitute for safety, a hierarchy to structure the ego, a list of True Things, and a moral code.  All of which has been stripped away, or altered.  Or conversely, a confused agnostic is provided a safe space, told he is special, given Truth, and provided a set of game rules.  He then becomes a Scientologist.

I suppose when  presented so clinically, it sounds trite and simple.  What's missing is the Sheer TERROR being in CP provides.  But we'll leave that for the poets.

If everyone's ok with it, let's see what we can glean from Gears 5-8.

[Kai]

I really like that interpretation, Kai.  I'm gonna keep that in mind and run with it, if'n you don't object.

Working with that, we can postulate that C1-4 "is" your BIP/Filter/Map/Grid -- The different ways your personality can be put together in terms of phisicality, ego, semantic intelligence, and social behavior.

That would mean that C5-8 are different ways to Reconstruct/Jailbreak/re-write the map/re-program, and the various ways it can happen.

So, it would make sense that C5 can change your prison, but only through C6 and higher can you choose the way it's changed. 

Or something.  Either way, I like the way this sounds much better than the assumptions of DNA consciousness/past lives/non-local information sharing.

Thanks, Kai.

Sorta. I guess I was holding two or more simultaneous models of the 8C map. From one standpoint its a progression of increasing intelligence, moving from 1C to 8C. From another standpoint its a simultaneous system that operates within a person, and like the chakras system each C can be focused and embodied individually and/or together as a whole with the rest. But you're right, you'd /only discover/ this second way of looking at it if you had first discovered/passed through 6C, because it is in 6C where the multiplicity of awareness and reality selection is realized.

Gonna go eat lunch, I'll be back.

[Kai]

I'll be completely honest, I didn't understand chapel perilous when I first read it and I still don't understand the concept now.

[LMNO]

The best I can do is say that there are times when your programming is thrown totally out of whack by some external shock, realization, situation, or revelation.  In that moment, absolutely nothing makes sense.  The robot has no idea of how to act.  The map has gone from a topological survey of detroit to a map of the London Subway system.  None of the previous rules apply.  You feel disoriented, alone, adrift, afraid.  Unsafe, unsure, unthinking, unattached.