Obituaries: The greatest plan

[Sepia]

You tried to write a book once when you were young, it was the greatest plan, copy a shitty scifi or fantasy book and write an entire series in a week and then live off the cash when you'd gotten enough. Really, we've read those books and they are filth and anybody with half a mind can replicate anything hokey, using the same formulas and write over again like we've heard the tale of jesus so many times, the same story, the same flesh, the same ending. You can make the ending sad or you can make it happy and that will be what people remember from it and if you make the ending sad people will call it dark and broody and with the current populace of emokids around that might be what you're shooting for. Your hero must feel like it's him against the world, that his back is against the wall and his only option for survival are the six-shooters at his hips and that life truly is pain. This is what you should have written, this is what you should have done.

You wrote a book once when you were young, it was the greatest plan, take an old obscure writer who had a great cult following and take his prophecies at face value whilst interpreting it with post-modernism and tell people this at bars as they ask you what you do and think you'll get laid because what the fuck man, I'm a writer but fail miserably and go into a life of being a stoner and hang around there, blast your memory from here to hell and continue to live a life with less friction. You know this won't end happy but it won't end sad either, you want away from the traditional end, you want away from beautiful shakespeare's influence, you want to create something new because it's about bloody time someone did. You leave yourself open to interpretation by the unwashed masses as in your apocalypse everyone save three have died from spontaneous human combustion, a type of death which nullifies the entire human existence, levelling them to the status of roadkill, no honour, no valour, no bang. You leave the three remaining souls to be named Peter, Paul and Mary after those who performed puff the magic dragon, also alluding to the biblical characters and making it fucking edgy when the reader discovers that Paul is a preop male to female. Then you send in the Mad Arab to start some shit as you let your heroes wander through your version of america, none of it based on reality but everything on myth and you mix it all in with the coming visions of Cthulhu, the ending being that william s burroughs was close to right but he didn't think it in the scope of hp lovecraft but you're still not sure about the ending because you don't know how this era ends and you're not sure if it will end when you find an end to the book or whether or not the book itself will end it and you write it three or four times before you ask yourself, is this really a good plot and a good book?

You wrote a book once when you were young, it was the greatest plan, for in the book you wrote the chapters of both should and would and made them coherent, made them work together, made them symbiotic in their revealation and you lived by the book and you did both things, you did what you should and what you would and life became happy, life become solid and something you cared for, something you wept for, something you celebrated. In the book you wrote an open ending but with clues and pointers on how it would end, embracing critics and the consumers equally. You become the one that none can rival and none can spite. You become the king of the hill and you are righteous and fair and you have lived life to the max, you have seen the ups and the downs but you followed your book, you followed your own story.

[Kai]

YES!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I think you just demolished Discordianism.   


FUCKING

[The Johnny]

i love how you write because it's classy, and when taken out of context can apply to so many things, which to me is almost always, because im never completely sure you are talking about the thing i think yhou are referring to

[Kai]

WHEN WILL THE COMPLETE WORKS OF GODLIKE BRENNSCHLUSS BE PUBLISHED, OH DEAR SON OF CHRONOS!?

I mean, we need a tree corpse collection or something. These are epic.